A Beautiful Spring Day Drive

April 25, 2012 at 10:58 pm (Uncategorized) (, )

Today was a beautiful bright sunny day.

I had the day off so I took advantage and went to town. It felt good to dress like a girl again and not in my scrubs for work. I just went off from working nine days in a row. I was tired, cranky and usually it RAINS no DOWNPOURS on my day off. I took moms car to get her gas. When I arrived at the gas station, the computers were down. I could not get gas there. I felt sorry for another lady who did not have enough gas to get to another gas station in the area. I have always gotten gas at a half tank that way I never run out because I was too tired to do so or didn’t notice the tank was almost on empty. My twin brother on the other hand will try to go to Los Angeles a two-hour drive from his house on a quarter tank. Silly brother. Anyway back to my story. I took the long way into town this morning taking in the sunshine. I enjoyed seeing the trees all in bloom and the birds flying. I am glad I went to run errands this morning because you guessed it, it is going to rain this afternoon.I recently submitted a new story for Mother’s day for a local paper called Good News Northwest. The story was about the last time I had Mother’s Day with my son Levi and mother before my son died in a car accident. I have often been asked by people how I keep such a positive attitude and I smile all the time. Life keeps going on whether you choose to not.I know how hard it is to maintain a positive attitude when  you feel like you are dying inside. I have the great memories of a great young man I had the privilege of being able to raise after the death of my husband from his disease. You do have several days when you truly say’ This sucks’. But you know what? That attitude did not change your circumstance and did not help you in getting through one more day. Sometimes that is what it comes down to one more day you made it through. I like to include a photo of my son on my blog when I write about him because the stories are what helps me to move forward in what good things God has for my life. I never thought I would have written a book or have a blog that people follow. I have a good life and I am happy about. There is life through the grief.

Next Month is Mother’s day. I do not hate Mother’s day just like I don’t hate Christmas or Levi’s Birthday. I spend the time with mom since dad has passed away and my brother does not live in the area. I keep my mom company and fix dinner with her every night and run our errands on my one day off. Levi has given me many stories to submit for publications. I am glad I have this outlet to remember my son. Most of my first book was about the trials of being a single parent and raising a very strong-willed young man. But we both got through it and if you are having a difficult time right now, the sorrows and pain will lesson as time goes on and you will get through this. I had to learn to be good to myself, treat myself very kind and be good to me. it is so easy to beat yourself up because you hurt today or you are lonely. i try to stay surrounded by me good friends and stay plugged into my fellowship at church. These help as well.

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