Happy Halloween Everyone

October 31, 2012 at 6:36 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

Some of you are braver than I. I have always been drawn to beautiful Victorian homes. This creeper however, takes a special person to enter through the door and take a tour around. I don’t think the Munster’s TV set look that scary.

Frankenstorm has shown its ugly head the past couple days.We have seen the devastation caused by this terrible storms. I am continuing to pray for those who are in the storm’s path. HGTV’s TV show Kitchen Cousins is based out of New Jersey. They are kind enough to offer assistance in any way they can help. Americans come together in a time of great need. We have a sense of community. it will take some time, but we will rebuild the  where the storm has destroyed. we live in a great country where United We Stand today and forever.

 

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Happy All Hallows Eve

October 30, 2012 at 6:08 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , )

 

Happy All Hallows Eve,

Right now, my prayers go out to the loved ones in the storms path. Seeing the images on the news, we are again reminded at how terrifying nature can be. We are also reminded at how strong God is and His power is shown   in the midst of every storm. 

It took a powerful storm to stop the campaigning of both Obama and Romney for a few minutes. All the back stabbing, pointing of fingers, and hopeful promises were put on a hold for a real cause. In a time of great devastation is when the American people come together. 

 

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My heart Goes Out To The members of The R&B Group Bleaque

October 29, 2012 at 4:20 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

 

 

My heart goes out to the music group and actress killed.

 

There are no words to express the depth of grief the families feel right now. I am praying for the comfort and encouragement from the Lord to be with the families as they mourn their loss. I know first hand there is no way to prepare yourself for news of a loved ones death. I was able to mourn in private. The families are now in the spotlight. I can not imagine having to deal with the media as well.

I pray God’s grace and peace be on the families involved right now, I pray for a speedy investigation into what happened, and I pray for   the rest of the group Bleaque as they mourn the loss of a group member and more importantly a best friend.

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I Could have Only Imagined

October 28, 2012 at 11:19 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

I could only imagine.

When other spouses went through after losing the most important person in their life. we never expect it to happen to us. We think this ideal life will keep on forever. That is why you are not prepared when an unexpected death happens. My husband died from complications from diabetes 6 years after we married. There are no words to express the depth of grief I felt that day Jerry died. One evening we put our son to bed, and we watched a movie. When we kissed and said I love you in bed, I had no way of knowing my life would forever change the next morning. Jerry suffered a grand moll seizure during the night. The next morning, I took my young son to our neighbors after calling the paramedics. The ambulance transported Jerry to the hospital. I remember a police officer driving me to the hospital. I appreciated his support. When I arrived at the Emergency room, the doctor had a grim prognosis. Jerry died one hour later.

There are no words to describe the depth of grief you feel after such a loss. You wonder how you can survive such a loss, you wonder what is going to happen now? How are you going to tell your young son daddy isn’t coming home from the hospital?  I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and  I couldn’t stop crying.  Christmas and my son Levi’s birthday were a few days away. I didn’t feel like celebrating the holiday, but I knew I had to for Levi. Before Jerry died, he bought Levi and I gifts. The weirdest thing was, he bought me two sweat pant outfits. He told my mom, he wanted to make sure I stayed warm that winter. Levi’s grandparents and I celebrated the holiday and Levi’s birthday. I survived the festivities, but I missed my husband so much.

It is has been 22 years since Jerry died.  As a single parent, I had many difficulties and hardships. I became the sole provider for my family. With God’s guidance, I raised Levi from childhood through his teens-no easy feat. People often ask me why I am still single. Levi was always my first priority. People treat you different when you have a child from a previous relationship. I was looking out for my son’s best interest.

We never know what life has in store. I never thought I would say goodbye to my husband so soon after we married. In writing my stories about my  husband and son, God is bringing back long forgotten memories. We cannot change the past, we can only move forward to the good things our future hold. I could not  imagine my life would be forever changed in a moment. This has been a long road from heartbreak, to finding hope,healing, and happiness again in my life. Life is good indeed. Please like.

 

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The Empty Nest

October 26, 2012 at 7:34 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

 

 

I sometimes think  about where my life is today. 

I listen to my friends talk about When their kids moved out , they found themselves planning out the rest of their lives. There were times due to a hardship, the kids had to move back in alone,or move in with their children. I can’t say I was glad to be rid of my son, but he sure could be disruptive. I can remember six years ago,before my son moved out, the door bell ringing at 3 a.m. for pizza. let’s not forget the phone calls and text messages all hours of the night. No wonder Levi was not ready for school the next morning. I can remember when Levi’s grandma and Levi and I would go out to dinner. Levi wore his old holy and greasy clothes from work. I used to get so angry. I asked him one evening to at least change his shirt for me.’Fine’.(you should see how he dressed to see friends the next day). I can remember friends telling me to pick my battles. Single parenthood presented many challenges. I raised Levi from childhood through his teens-no easy feat.

Six years ago, Levi moved out to help his grandma after his grandpa died. It is a different feeling not having to rush home and check on your son. You don’t have to worry about where they are. You could come and go as you please. But the flip side of this reality was Levi didn’t come over and visit anymore. I had to go to my neighbor’s house and see my son or go to his grandmas. I had dreams of when Levi moved out, heard the cool stories of parents and children sitting around the dining room table reminiscing about what mom and dad didn’t know about. I so missed out.

My life as an empty nester has been bitter-sweet. My son set off floating the river one sunny sunday morning in July 2007,by that night both our lives were forever changed. Levi died in a car accident. He was only 20. There are no words to describe the grief I felt that day. I have the fond memory of putting gas into Levi’s car the night before. We laughed and joked one last time. When Levi dropped me off,and we said our goodbye and I love you, we didn’t know these were last words we would speak to each other.

I am grateful for the many memories I have as a wife. My husband died 6 short years after we married due to complications rom diabetes. Yes, life has handed me some lemons, but when Christ is ruler over your life, everyday you heal more, you come to realize the deaths of both my husband and my son, didn’t mean my death as well. God is using me and my stories for this blog. We don’t know what life holds around the corner, but we can hold on to the treasured memories we have to keep moving forward wherever we are in our lives.

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The Power Of Our words

October 24, 2012 at 5:58 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

 

 

 

 

The words we speak can have either

 

have a negative effect on our lives or they have evoke power and strength in our lives. Let me give you an example:

I recently watched a video of a blind beggar. He had a sign that read I am blind, please help. A well dressed woman walked by,read his sign and changed the sign. The sign now read,it is a beautiful morning, but I can’t see it. A very powerful statement. we hold the power to bring encouragement to others,or discouragement with our words.

When I had lost my husband, I can remember being impressed by God to ‘be very kind to yourself,treat yourself well, don’t be so hard on yourself’. As I allow god to transform me by the renewing of my mind, I find myself thinking  positive thoughts. As a single parent, I had many hardships and difficulties raising my young son alone. It is easy to become discouraged. With god’s guidance, my son and I survived all our hardships. I am proud of the fine young man my son Levi had become. I watched Levi grow in self-esteem and in responsibility.

May the God of Glory lift you up in His Highest esteem today. May you always remember how much you are loved and accepted for who you are. Life is good indeed!

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My Husband’s Kind Heart

October 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

 

I have so many fond memories of my late husband Jerry. Here is one of my favorite stories I would like to share:

When my husband Jerry and I were engaged to be married, Jerry would drop me off at work and pick me up after my shift. We both owned a car, but I wanted to spend more time with him. We would talk over wedding plans.

I grew up around my grandma Leigh .She was a big influence on my life. My brother and I would often visit her and my aunt when we were in high school. She was a beautiful lady. When I told grandma about Jerry, and our engagement, she wanted to meet him. When he met her, she told him she had heard so much about him. Grandma fell in love with Jerry.

When she was hospitalized, Jerry would visit her while I was at work. When her dinner tray was brought in, Jerry would go down to the cafeteria and eat, then go back and visit with grandma until visiting hours were over. One night, my grandma offered to order Jerry a dinner tray so he could eat with her. Jerry would still order his dinner at the cafeteria, but brought it to my grandma’s room and ate with her. Jerry was very fond of my grandma.  Jerry didn’t see his grandparents very often because they live in another state.                    

Jerry and I were busy planning our wedding. My grandma told me she didn’t think she would be attending our wedding. She said she was ready to go home to Heaven. I told her “I will have to postpone the wedding until you can come then” My grandma was released from the hospital two days later. Jerry and I were married in a beautiful garden wedding on September 15,1984. Grandma sat in the front row. What a wonderful memory I will always have of my husband’s kind heart.

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When My Life changed

October 11, 2012 at 6:58 pm (Uncategorized) ()

Five years ago,I would not have believed

God would walk me through some of the darkest days of my life. I could not imagine a life without my son Levi, and here I am today. My life was forever changed with Levi’s death. There are no words to express the depth of grief you feel when you receive the news your son was in a car accident.I am often asked ‘how can you live through such a tragedy?’ You slowly realizing your life is not over. I have a strong support system from friends and my family. I also have a  strong relationship with God. I look forward to my coffee in the morning, I get some of my best stories when I  sit and talk with God about the memories I cherish. Levi was a great kid. I will always remember his laughter, his mischievous smile and his big heart.

I wrote my first book as a way to remember both my husband and my son. I kept writing to help keep their memories alive.Some memories were easy to write,some were more difficult. As I write, I remember the good and can keep moving forward in the future. Every day brings more healing, I could not have imagined five years after I lost my son Levi, I would have a blog writing about the fine young man my son had become.

Today, I am celebrating the 2 year anniversary release of my  book. Thank you to all my friends and family who have supported me in my life on this difficult journey from heartbreak,to finding hope,healing and happiness again. I hope this blog has blessed you today. Today is a good day indeed!.

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10 Truths From God’s Heart

October 10, 2012 at 9:57 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

10 Truths from God’s heart

I was feeling discouraged one day. I was writing in my journal. I felt impressed by the Lord to write 10 truths He would say about me in Heaven to His friends.

1)      I am worthy of the Lord’s love.

2)      All of my needs will be met.

3)      God adores me.

4)      God made me who I am

5)      God delights himself in me.

6)      I am a blessing to others around me.

7)      I am successful in God’s eyes.

8)      I am cherished.

9)      I am the beloved daughter of the king.

10)  I am the apple of my father’s eye.

I felt a lot better after I had written this. I think sometimes we all need encouragement.

This an exerpt from my book ‘Healing in the Storms’. My life was forever changed with the deaths of both my husband and my son. It has been a struggle not to sink into a deep depression. I wrote this story for the book out of my journal.

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When Life Hands You Lemons…

October 4, 2012 at 6:16 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

People have often commented to me

I don’t know how you have survived the loss of Levi, I can’t even imagine being you.”. I can remember responding to the question with”I can’t imagine being me either”. Nothing could have prepared me for the night my life changed forever again. I raised my young son alone after my husband, Levi’s dad died from complications from diabetes. Levi and I survived the challenges from his childhood through his teens no easy feat. Levi moved out at 19 to help his grandmother after his grandpa died. I was now an empty nester. I had new freedom,I didn’t have to rush home to check on Levi, no pizza delivery at 3 a.m. (when you need to be bight eyed at 6 a.m.) My life was different in many ways. I realized I have successfully raised Levi into young adulthood.  I kept busy working,and writing.

Nine months after Levi moved out,he set out with some friends to float the river on sunny sunday morning in July 2007 and by that night,he died in a car accident. My life had changed again forever. There are no words to express the depth of grief I felt that night. I am grateful I had the loving support of my neighbors who took me to the hospital that night and stayed with me through the night. It has been five years now since I said goodbye to the best gift God could have given me. Walking through my hardships in my life, knowing God’s hand has been working in my behalf, has helped me to heal more everyday and accept the deaths of my husband Jerry and my son Levi. God helped me realize the deaths of my husband and son did not mean the death of me. I keep moving forward in  the good things God still has for my life.My life can only get better. My attitude of gratitude towards life has been a long journey of hope, healing and acceptance.Life is good indeed!

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