Moving Forward After A Loss

December 9, 2012 at 6:49 pm (COMFORT AND JOY) (, , , , , , )

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My life was forever changed,

when my son Levi was lost in a tragic car accident. There are no words to encompass the depth of grief I felt that day and continue to feel.  I raised Levi as a single parent after my husband, Levi’s dad died from complications from his diabetes. I had the awesome responsibility of raising my young son alone. I was missing my husband, at the same time caring for Levi. Levi and I struggled with many hardships and difficulties. We survived them all. I am proud of the fine young man Levi had become.

I tried to keep the traditions I had for my son alive. I had always taken Levi to my parents house to decorate.  Levi and his grandpa would decorate grandmas house inside and out with lights,often times with snow pouring down. What a fun sight to behold. Grandpa and grandson would be busy for hours. grandma always had hot cocoa waiting to warm up the two elves of christmas! Then of course, grandpa and Levi had to go shopping. Another tradition Levi and his grandpa had been to make fudge,Christmas eve, the family visited friends and family delivering the sweet treat. Christmas day was devoted to making the snow fort and sledding party after dinner. What a lively house the Leigh household was.

Holidays are spent much quieter now. My dad, Levi’s grandpa died from his disease 10 years ago. Levi was only 15 years old when his beloved grandpa died.Christmas that year was spent with Levi and his friend decorating her house. Our friends and family came and celebrated a christmas day open house. The family kept mom busy and it helped her in her grief.

My life was forever changed again in July 2007 when my son Levi died in a tragic car accident . He was only 20. There are no words to describe the depth of grief a parent feels after such a loss. The holidays take on a new meaning. To deal with my loss, I write memorial stories honoring both my husband and son and their legacy they left.Some stories are easy to write, others are more painful.

I now decorate my mom’s house with few Christmas trinkets. Some good friends are coming over for Christmas dinner and gifts. Many family and friends have now moved away, we are all to old to host sledding parties. Sometimes, I envision Levi decorating his grandmas house. I see the  sparkle in Levi’s eyes as he works his magic. Levi loved his grandma and grandpa. Life isn’t the same without the laughter, lively conversations, watching the children play and have snowball fights. I feel blessed to write stories of love, friendship, honoring memories and drinking in the good things god still has for me. Wherever you are, have a Blessed Christmas.

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