My Journey To Finding Happiness Again

March 24, 2013 at 4:31 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

scan0011

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life can change in a moment.

 

One day, you are living your best life ever, the next day your world can come crashing down around you. What do you do when tragedy strikes?  How do we survive a loved ones disease, and how do we survive the loss of that loved one? Sometimes we do not realize how fragile life really is. We never know how we deal with life changing circumstances until we are faced with them.

I have been a care giver since I was a teenager. my dad had been sick as long as I can remember. I would help care for my dad while my mom worked. Caring for my dad taught me compassion and responsibility. I had always pursued a career as a paramedic. I found out there were height and weight requirements for the job. I was disappointed to learn I did not meet the requirements for the job. I went into the Health care field and I have found it very rewarding. 

When my husband and I married, we thought we would grow old together, envisioned a life raising ou family, looked forward to retiring some day, imagined a life as proud grandparents to our son’s children. My life had taken a different direction. My husband had complications from his diabetes. He died just 6 short years after we married. I was left to raise my young son alone. Single parenthood presented many challenges. I was mother, father, and sole provider for my family of two now. I had many hardships and difficulties raising my son, but Levi and survived them all. I raised my son from childhood through his teens. 

After the death of my husband I was overwhelmed with the awesome responsibility of raising my son alone. I suffered from depression. When Levi went to school, I stayed on the couch. I not only suffered the loss of my husband,but my income was cut in half. Levi was a strong-willed child. There were days I did not think I had the strength to care for him as a good mother should. I always drew my strength from God. I had to realize life was going to be okay and I can get through being a single parent. I also had to deal with critical comments from people in my life. Being a single parent was hard enough, I felt like I really had no support. I am happy to say I did not drink, smoke or do drugs during this trying time in my life. I still am just a coffee drinker. mainly because there are so many yummy coffee creamers out there to try. 

People talk about depression and it’s effects. I can tell you depression does hurt. You feel lonely, you feel sad all the time, you say ‘I am fine’ when you feel like your whole world has ended. I had to care for my young son who needed me to be available for him. There were not many people I could talk to about my struggle because I was told to get over it Levi needs me. What people do not realize is yes, my son needed me, but I had to take care of me too.

 

As Levi entered his teens, he had his own struggles I had to deal with. Levi’s grandpa died when Levi was 15 years old he was devastated. Now I had to deal with and help my son through his depression. Levi was put on medication so you could stand to be around him and his attitude problem. Growing up is tough as a teenager.Then of course, we as parents do not know anything….

  About this time, Levi moved in to help his grandma after his grandpa passed away. Levi told his grandma ‘I will take care of you grandma’ I laugh at the thought.

 

In July 2007, my son set off with some friends to float the river, by that evening both our lives were changed forever. Levi was involved in a tragic car accident. There are no words to describe the depth of grief I felt that day. One day you are putting gas in your sons’ new car, the next day, Levi was fighting for his life. People have often asked me how could I survive such a loss. I have a strong faith in God and I realize the deaths of both my husband and my son did not mean it was the death of me as well. For me, healing is accepting the loss and know I will keep moving forward in the good things God still has for me. it has been a long journey from feeling overwhelmed, depressed, hopeless, to joy, living my dreams, feeling useful instead of useless, encouraging others to live the dreams they envisioned and not let fear rule their hearts. Life is good indeed.


.

 

Advertisements

1 Comment

  1. cg87tr said,

    A very sad and tragic story. I have written an article re how my wife and I found out she had cancer (after having an operation) and her ordeal before dying 6 months later. Now 5 & 1/2 years later at the age of 72 I have just married a lady of 70 who lost her husband to cancer. It just shows that one is never to old to find love and happiness again

    Like

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Elena Xtina

Writing & Recipes

It's All About The Shot

Getting to know your Quadcopter Drone

Blog of a Mad Black Woman

Life Experiences, Quotes & Randoms

Muddling Through My Middle Age

Adventures in Aging.....

Olufunke Kolapo

Healing • Inspiring • Awakening • Fulfilling •

The Lions Den

"Blending the colorful issues of life with the unapologetic truth of scripture." ColorStorm

Nutsrok

The humor and humanity of storytelling.

By Hook Or By Book

Book Reviews, News, and Other Stuff

englishplus966

There is more than meets the eye to being an English teacher, writer, editor, or language connoisseur, especially abroad. This blog is for language teachers, learners, and users alike.

Elyk Photography

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Matt on Not-WordPress

Stuff and things.

Gin Getz

Sharing an untamed view.

laragonphoto.wordpress.com/

Calgary, Alberta | © 2014 - 2016 Leo Aragon

kenssimpleview

A fine WordPress.com site

Brecon Cottages' Blog

Hundreds of beautiful cottages in the Brecon Beacons

Jbambs

Geography, Meteorology, Climatology, Education, Ancient History, as well as other strings to the bow. student - Geography degree.

%d bloggers like this: