Surviving The Holiday’s after a Loss

December 19, 2013 at 10:15 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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Last week my neighbor and I attended a candle light memorial service

in honor of my son Levi. The service was beautiful and lighting a candle in Levi’s memory was a special way to remember the fine young man he had become. My son set out one sunny sunday morning to float the river with some friends and by that evening, both our lives were changed forever. Levi died in a tragic car accident. He was only 20.

I have been asked how I can survive such a loss. The past 6 years has not been easy there are many days you don’t feel like getting out of bed. But coffee is calling your name. and after you hae 2-3 cups of coffee, you might as well get dressed and make your bed. My point is life will not get any easier, but time does heal the wounds. You will never forget your loved ones, the memories live on in your heart  We keep them alive when we remember the fun times  we had while they were young  and remember the times when you wanted to string them up by their toes.

I set aside time each day for a good cry It may be 10 minutes or 2 hours. It is important not to let emotions build up inside. I remember watching my son out the window sledding down a small hill across the street. My neighbor who was kind enough to attend Levi’s service used to sled down the same hill with Levi. pretty soon, the neighborhood would join in until dinner. The sweet memories bring tears to my eyes.

I have found it was okay to be happy again. I don’t have to feel guilty about it. If I felt sad one day as the holiday draws near, it is only an emotion. I have heard over the years when I cried, is that what Levi would have wanted? Well, I tell them he is not here anymore to ask.I know people mean well, but it is part of the grieving process. 

It is okay not to keep all the family traditions this year. You can pick the ones you want to celebrate. You may not feel like a hectic holiday this year. I feel it is important not to put too much  pressure on yourself. I do what I can, the rest I let go of. I have heard some families make the child’s favorite dish at Christmas. They will say what the dish is and who is was for and pass the dish around the table. This is fine, but then I heard you don’t speak about the child after that. Everyone is different and moun different. I get nachos for Levi’s birthday every year  to celebrate him. It is a way for me to feel close to Levi even if he is not here to share the food with me. I remember when we used to sit at the table and eat our lunch together. What a special blessing I have to remember some of the good times we shared.

This holiday may you be surrounded by friends and family you love and hold dear, may you have safe travels wherever the day takes you and may you have a sweet reminder that God holds you near and dear to His heart as well. Life is good indeed!

 

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