What If My Life Had Never Changed

January 25, 2015 at 9:30 pm (Single Parent, Sons, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , )






I am reminded how precious life is.


We never know what our future holds. When my husband and I married, we thought we would grow old together, raise a family in our new house, and imagined a life as proud grandparents of our son Levi’s children. We often talked about traveling when we retired, (sneaking the grandkids along) for camping trips and fishing. My life had taken a different direction.

My husband died just 6 short years after we married. I was left to raise our young son alone. With God’s guidance, I raised Levi from childhood through his teens. I am proud of the fine young man he had become. My life was forever changed again, when my son set off with some friends one sunny Sunday morning July 2007. By that evening Levi died in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. There are no words to encompass the depth I felt that day.

I often ponder where I would be today if my life never changed. Would Jerry still have complications from his disease? Would he be fulfilling his dreams? Would we now be retired and traveling? Would Levi have married? Have kids? Be living in the area? Own a business? Would we be the proud grandparents to Levi’s children?

Levi was our miracle baby. Because of my husband’s disease, doctors told us we could not have children. We had a ten per cent chance to conceive. God had other plans for our life. Levi is the most precious gift God ever given to me. I have so many treasured memories in my life as a wife and mother. I had many hardships being married to a diabetic. Some of the memories are painful; the ambulance calls for complications from Jerry’s disease, Levi and the croup, still the good times outweigh the bad. I can’t imagine my life without Jerry and Levi ever being a part of it. (I have had many lemons handed me in life, I just make more lemonade to share and encourage others who are who are hurting). I could not have imagined my life would be forever changed in a moment. I could have been angry and bitter with God, I chose instead to trust Him. As I continue to heal and write, I am remembering long forgotten memories of a life when my husband and I had ahead of us.



  1. passion through poetry said,

    So touching, wishing you all the best on your journey.


  2. johnandmarylivingitupinecuador said,

    God Bless you as you keep adjusting to daily life changes. Our love for God and His for us are really the only constants we can rely on. Life goes on and God’s love abides.


  3. pasunhomme said,

    Wow. Truly tragic. I cannot imagine going through that. It sounds like you have found a way to see the preciousness of life after these heartbreaks and find new strength and a conviction to enjoy life and its complexity. My heart goes out to you.


  4. vjearle said,

    Some people seem to be handed more than their share of tragedy, and yet when they are able to turn it around and inspire others then purpose is born. Thank you for sharing. I am awed by your courage and strength.


  5. Roger Baker-Utah said,

    God bless you. Thank you for your example of turning suffering into wisdom, and growth, and compassion.


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