A Mother’s Day Gift

May 13, 2017 at 11:40 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Leavinghome, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, positive thinking) (, , , )

This morning I was feeling a little melancholy; so much has changed in the last few years. I miss my son who died in a tragic car accident in 2007, family and friends have moved away, mom needs extra care now, I was feeling blue. Even though Levi died ten years ago, I still miss seeing him walk through his Grandmas front door for dinner. The last Mother’s day I spent with my son, he hand delivered a bouquet of roses where I worked; What a nice surprise to start my day. We met that evening for dinner at my mom’s house. 

I went over to my mom’s house this afternoon to give her a shower so she could be looking nice for  tomorrow. I have a nice dinner planned for the two of us, and then off to work. My next door neighbors came over to  to help me with her  shower. The kids surprised me with bouquet of daisies, and a box of candy. It wasn’t the fact I was given a nice gift, it was nice to be called mom. The girl next door has been calling me mom since she was little. Levi and Ashley grew up together; Every first snow fall, I knew the kids were outside in front connecting our yards together with a snow tunnel or you could find them sledding down the small hill across the street. They were good kids. Hard to believe the kids are now thirty- something. Ashley and her boyfriend are still a big part of my life. 

I hope tomorrow brings a wonderful day for mom. Maybe not breakfast in bed, or the kids decide to do the dinner dishes,or the garbage mysteriously get taken out without an argument but I wish all the moms a Happy Mother’s day. What I cherish most are the special things said through the years not the gifts. They say some pretty amazing things. This life as that has been transformed by son moving out, new found Independence, taking your time in the grocery store, they have thier own car now, earning a paycheck, but family game night is still special isn’t it?

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This Empty Nest Life

February 23, 2017 at 3:01 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Leavinghome, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking) (, , , , )

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I have read some stories of parents count down the days when the kids are grown and gone. Being an empty nester is bitter-sweet for me. When my son Levi first moved out, I was confused. He moved alright, his clothes. He would come home just long enough to get something from My bedroom now. One evening, as Levi was about to leave, I told him ‘either totally move out with all your stuff,or you can pay rent on all your stuff instead’ You should have seen the look on his face. He could not believe he would actually take his prized things somewhere else and stash them. I had plans for his old bedroom and if he wanted to come stay the night(what?) he was more than welcome. That went over like a lead balloon. The price of growing up.

After I had my conversation with my son,I had paint samples dancing around in my head, a new bedroom arrangement,a nice place to drink my coffee. I turned my sons old bedroom into my dressing room. I love getting dressed in the morning and putting on pajamas at night. I did not know,how could I, That weekend, my son was lost to a tragic car accident. I took my time cleaning out his bedroom. gone were the importance of having ‘my space’. Everyone has a different story about being an empty nest parent. I love being in my sons bedroom looking at his life in pictures,remembering the time when I was listening to his stereo when he went to work.  I laugh now at him telling his mom “I don’t care if you listen to my stereo, just turn it off when you are done using it’. Busted! There is a big world out there waiting for us to enjoy in our second half in life. We are now caring for our aging parents,working,spending time with the grandkids if we have a few. Life is good, I intend to squeeze every second out of life I can.

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Stay True To Who You Are

October 28, 2016 at 5:55 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Leavinghome, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, memoir writing, positive thinking, Single Parent, Survivor) (, , , , )

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When I started my blog over four years ago, It was never to get fame or fortune. I started writing stories from my first book . I hoped my friends would read my posts and maybe like them. I had no idea how many people my stories would touch. I have met so many wonderful readers who have  moving stories forward bout thier loss. Some readers have told me my stories are painful to read and have stopped reading my posts. At first my feelings were hurt,but then I realized it was not a reflection off of me. I have read some blogs on grief and so many are so broken after many years; There is no time period on healing.

Life has thrown me many curve balls; I could have become bitter and angry but then I realized friends and family would avoid me and my pity party. We were never promised a rose garden life. years ago, I wrote my first book a couple of years after my only son Levi’s car accident. I would be asked ” how many copies have I sold so far?” I would tell people” if my book brought some peace to a grieving family, I could not ask for more.” I found out my book is in the waiting area of my local hospital and it was in the waiting room of the Critical care Unit;  River City Hospice recommends the book to hurting families. My book has gone farther than I could have hoped for.

Coming up with weekly blog topics are sometimes difficult for me.I try and blog twice a week. I sit and sometimes stare at the computer screen, but the stories unfortunately do not write themselves. When in doubt, I use a story from my book . Life is wonderful,exciting, I look at the beauty at each new day and really thank God for it. My glass is not half empty. It is brimming over with life, I don’t feel sorry for myself because I will not be a grandmother . I do sometimes wonder where Levi would be today at age thirty. Wow, I am feeling old. Yep,sometimes life throws you a curve ball. it depends on what you do with it.

I have lived in the same town for thirty-five years,in the same house for thirty. I truly feel blessed,I am glad I have my mom,a good jog I love, good co-workers, I turned my sons old bedroom into my dressing room I love to get dressed in there in the morning and pj’s on at night. I am grateful to God who has walked me through some of the darkest days of my life and we still have coffee everyday. I am a blessed woman indeed!

 

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A Memory Keepsake

November 13, 2015 at 6:10 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, family, Leavinghome, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , )

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I am thankful for so much.

I still have my mom,a good job I enjoy and the love and support of family and friends after the loss of both my husband and son. I raised my son Levi as a single parent after my husband died from complications of diabetes. Single parenthood presented many challenges my son and I endured many hardships and difficulties,but we survived them all.

One year for christmas, I bought Levi a camouflage blanket to put on his bed. He had aspirations to join the military like his grandpa who he looked up to. So, like all young teenagers whose bedroom goes through many transformations, I was glad when he settled on a military theme. He had painted the walls a sickly green color, but made the best of it by putting netting on the ceiling, bought camouflage bedding and framed pictures of tanks.

Levi moved out of the house at age 19 to help care for his grandma when his grandpa passed away. A year later,he died in a tragic car accident. I turned his old bedroom into my dressing room. I enjoy getting dressed in the morning and putting on my pj’s at night. Of course, re-painted his bedroom a beige color, and bought a Victorian quilt to go on the day bed. Not too long ago, I found Levi’s camouflage blanket in his old dresser. I had a melancholy feeling holding the blanket again. I decided to keep the blanket and cover a pillow to go in my car if I should break down somewhere. The blanket could help keep me warm while waiting to be rescued. I am glad I did not get rid of the blanket because my son enjoyed using it on his bed as a teen, and now it has been repurposed to be kept in my car.

“Life can change in a moment,live everyday like you mean it and don’t look back with any regrets” I wanted to leave you with these words I found on a piece of paper in Levi’s desk drawer. A great outlook on life.

 

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Surviving Those Teenage years

February 20, 2015 at 4:49 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Empty house, family, Family stories, Heaven, Leavinghome, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Mothers, Single Parent, Sons, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , )

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The teenage years;

My how time flies by fast. One day our they are sweet as pie, then overnight it seems to happen. ‘The great Advanced tween attitude.’ Over night parents become stupid and let the arguments begin.

When my son turned 19, he moved in with his grandma to help her when his grandpa died.Levi told his grandma”I’ll take care of you.” I laugh at the thought.My son learned money management when you gave it grandma to keep,she did. You had to have a good reason to have the money back( Levi kept giving her his money and argued when he could not have it back)Oh growing up is hard to do! Grandma meant what she said” the door locks at 10:00.” Levi would call his grandma at 9:59 and tell her he was on his way,or better yet, his friends would call her to let her know Levi was on his way home and Please don’t lock the door. Grandma kept him honest.

My son laid my carpet in my house. It was an honor to have him lay it, plus it was a treat to have new carpet. I turned his old bedroom into my dressing room. I love to get dressed in the morning and put my pajamas on at night. I did not want a “mom cave.” I re-purposed Levi’s book shelve that his grandpa and him painted when he was seven years old. Now the old book shelf has been repainted a soft beige complete with my author friends books. Life has not been the same since Levi had moved out. In July 2007, he was involved in a fatal traffic accident. he was only 20. Even though he developed the advanced tween attitude, I still treasure those times no matter how difficult it was. i miss the fine young man he had become. We never know what tomorrow may bring or we even have tomorrow. I would not wish the pain I feel on anyone, but through the pain, I have learned the grace,strength,and comfort of God has brought me where I am today.

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Happy New Year Everyone.

January 1, 2015 at 6:23 pm (A Writer's Life, family, Heaven, Leavinghome, Memoir, Mothers, Single Parent, Sons, Survivor, Writer's writing, Writier's writing, Writing) (, , , , )

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May this year bring happiness, healing for our nation, learning to live together, and know we are a Blessed Nation. The brand new year brings brand new tomorrows. Let’s live each new day with the promise of what tomorrow may bring. Some circumstances are out of our control, but we can stand strong in knowing we do not walk alone.

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The Perfect Solution To The Empty Nest Syndrome.

September 3, 2014 at 6:21 pm (A Writer's Life, Creative Non- Fiction, Empty house, Family stories, Journal Writing, Leavinghome, Life beyond parenting, memoir writing, memoirs, Memory writing, Middle age, Uncategorized) (, , , )

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