They Still Call Me Mom

July 18, 2018 at 7:27 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , )

I went outside to change my sprinkler last night. While out there, one of my neighbors called me over. I was embarrassed to walk over because I was in my night-gown. They laughed and motioned me to come over anyway. While chatting with the young adults, I was struck by a thought.

Ashley is a year younger than my son Levi. They grew up together, made snow forts connecting both our yards to escape…. what I do not know. if you stayed out of trouble, you did not need a place to hide(rather chilly hiding place anyway don’t you think). Levi shared his sled with Ashley so she could have fun sledding after school on the hill by our house. They both grew up to be fine young adults I must say.

When my son was attending Kindergarten he met his lasting friend Mike. They were like two peas in a pod together. Spending the night at each others houses, playing Nintendo together, getting into mischief together. Oh such are the The joys of best friends for a single parent. I remember when they were teens, Mike spent the night. One night I heard the front door open and my hallway squeak. I told the boys”busted” they ran into Levi’s room laughing as they hit the bed. They had forgotten I never had that squeak fixed for this exact reason someday. 

Most of my friends have at least four grandchildren. I have been asked “if I ever get angry at God because my son did not give me grandchildren?” My life had taken another direction than I had expected. Instead of being bitter and angry with God, I chose instead to trust him.  My life is full of people who love and support me, a great job I love, a church family, and people who support my blog. I have learned through the year how to make great lemonade. Life is what you make of it. You can go around wearing a frown or you can be cheerful.

It has been hard since I lost my son eleven years ago. I am proud of the fine young man he had become. I miss his infectious laugh, his sparkle in his mischievous eyes, he smelled great, most of all, his generosity to others. I have been shedding a few tears this week, but I know he is proud of me and this is what keeps me moving forward, looking forward to more good things to come. hug your kids extra tight today, let them know how much you love them, how proud you are of them and you are glad they are in your life. We are not promised a tomorrow, make today count.

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Summer Has Arrived

July 12, 2018 at 7:07 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , )

Summer has arrived in Idaho. Every year, we have wild fires threatening to destroy the beauty we so enjoy. I feel sadness towards the homeowners who every year have to evacuate their homes and come back hopefully to a house still standing. I worry sometimes because I live right in front of a natural forest. My home can easily be in danger. Every year the Fire Department offers sound advice to home owners. Make sure all brush, wood, and any flammable material is kept away from your home. Make sure the grass is not weeds and use drought tolerant landscaping to help preserve the home better in an outbreak of fire. 

I have always had a love/ hate of summer. I hate the watery itchy eyes of allergies. I have a major allergy to fresh-cut grass, my throat feels like it is closing up. The ninety plus degree heat for days on end In winter, your heat bills goes up, in the summer the water bill goes up. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are many ways to tolerate this few short weeks until I can enjoy fall again. I don’t mind wearing dresses to keep cool plus you look more pulled together when running errands. I love the summer hair dues to keep your head cool and looking fresh. The lighter make-up routine, I still enjoy making my ice-cream for an evening desert.

Most of my friends live for this time of year. they get out on the beach,go for a swim to cool off, enjoy getting a tan on. I have a hard time with crowds. The little kids who have a foul mouth on them, no supervision, throwing their trash wherever it lands instead of using the provided garbage containers. It is getting harder to find a quiet spot just to enjoy watching the boaters drift past you or watch the paddle boards drift by taking their time. I know I would not be a good candidate for living right on the water. A few years ago, I went to an open house right on the lake. The boaters speeding by were loud, you could not hear yourself talking the person beside you. I understand it is a price you pay for the luxury of lake side living, but I prefer a quieter home overlooking the forest in front of me.

I older I get, I guess I get more set in my ways. Give me a farmers market where I get to know the locals and learn how they make fresh goat cheese spreads and home-made wine. give me fresh fruits and vegetables that I can go home and make a fresh summer salad with a unique blended salad dressing to try. Give me a concert in the park filled with families, kids dancing on the green to the music. A walk down town exploring new shops and visiting with old friends who are shop owners. Give me a drive around one of the many beautiful lakes in the area. Where there is always a chance to see  deer or moose. Watching the golfers perfect a swing enjoying lunch overlooking the lake with a dear friend having lunch. I enjoy my hometown with friendly folks, nice weather, beautiful lakes, rivers you follow while driving the back roads.

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A Page in Time

July 5, 2018 at 5:21 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , )

I was in my dressing room getting ready to start my day. I was looking at some of the family photos on the wall while I was dressing. I was looking at my son Levi. I started to remember the day in the photos… The first tattoo Levi had gotten; He had two arrows crossed across the shoulders. he told me he never really knew why he chose the arrows now. I was teasing him saying”you know Levi, iron sharpens iron.” Teasingly he told me”shut up mom”. The day my son bought his truck. He was laying carpet so he could help his boss carry more product to the job site. The first ride in his new truck. He asked me” hey mom, do you want a coffee?” 

 After my son moved out to help his grandma, I turned his old bedroom into my dressing room. I knew he would not be coming back just to spend the night or have dinner with me. he told me “I am at the neighbors, come see me there.” Really! Sorting through the pain from the loss of my son, I am blessed with fun stories and memories I can still look back on and chuckle. I think if he could his old house now, he would be surprised at how different it looks today. For one his mom(me) knows the difference between neon green paint and uh olive. I remember when he and his best friend decided to paint his bedroom while I was at work. he thought I would be angry at him but he had to live with the color choice not me. 

 I have been fortunate that Levi had some really great friends,many of them called me mom. I think one the reasons I could continue to carry on and not give up is his friends never stopped calling me mom. I appreciate that I am still called mom by the fine young adults his friends have become. A few have families of thier own now and I am a part of their lives. I tease some Levi’s friends because we live in the same town, but never run into each other- anywhere. Something I am told about schedules or something like that I don’t know.(smile). I feel blessed to part of a special small group of friends who have allow me to continue to part of their lives.

Last night, we had a neighborhood fireworks show. the neighbors have not gotten together since our kids were young. We didn’t want to fight the crows in town, so the whole neighborhood had a fireworks war going on. The night air was cool, not muggy like last year, everyone had the evening off so they could stay and enjoy each others company. I live in a great forever home and have some great neighbors. we were talking about how long we had been neighbors. Thirty-three years of good memories. One neighbor remembered when there weren’t any homes around us just an empty field. His firework shot across the field  and landed just inside the kitchen slider that was slightly ajar. 

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Summer Memories

June 30, 2018 at 10:57 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , )

Everyone has a special Summer Bucket List of activities they would love to try just once. Some want to brave the giant roller coaster at the local theme park, some want to find the best huckleberry patch, other just want to enjoy family and friends. Whatever you place on your Summer Bucket List, making memories last a life time.

One of my favorite summer memories taking my son to Seattle for the weekend. We met with my friends who were in a Band. My son and I were invited to a concert for the Village People several years ago. When I arrived at my friends hotel, my son was mad because he thought ( the biker character) and I were going to a private lunch together and he and my ride were going to MC Donald’s for their lunch. Glenn  took us all out to lunch, then were walked around the area until it was time for him to get back to his hotel for rehearsals for his concert. My girlfriend and I had front row seats and a back stage pass to see the guys after the show. What a memorable weekend it was indeed.

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A Rare Week

June 22, 2018 at 12:29 am (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking) (, , )

After a very busy week last week, It has been nice to just relax my three days off this week. I started my day off with weeding my flower beds. I hate weeding my flower beds; I know what some of you are thinking” who can hate to wed the flower beds”? I am a reforming black thumb gardener who is learning to like things like digging in the dirt, dead heading plants, mulching, and  choosing the right plants for your zone. I have very rocky soil in my backyard so I don’t have to worry too much about anything growing. My favorite thing my friends like to ask me is”did you water the grass and plants?” “Yes” ” I don’t know what to tell you then”. 

This month is the Annual Home garden Show. I love to wander around  the beautiful gardens and get ideas. Most of the participants are retired and have the time to create intricate spaces. Some gardens are funky and fun while others are formal and elegant. I sure do admire those who have a true green thumb. I thought about asking for some advice, but you must have the time to put the work into your space and do the weeding, fertilizing, watering to keep the plants and flowers looking beautiful. I have several unique designs. Old trucks are used as planters, wheelbarrows, bicycles, a son or daughters combat boots, old tires cut in half and hung on the fence. Every year the tour is more and more creative. 

I have a dear friend who owns a beautiful Victorian home not far from me. Many people have told her she should be part of the garden tour; Her garden is semi-formal with trees, bird houses(Victorian) rounded edging for her many colorful flowers. I know my friend works many hours to keep her yard looking beautiful. She get compliments from small children walking by her house with the parents. Such dedication she has to live in a beautiful tree-lined neighborhood. her house sets across the street from the river so she can enjoy river view. The neighborhood looks like a picture out of Currier and Ives. I have a few places I can drive and see the deer and moose and  some nice homes in the area. 

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Catching Up With Friends

June 15, 2018 at 12:11 am (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, grief, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , )

I ran into an old friend at the grocery store yesterday while doing my moms weekly shopping. We chatted for a while, caught each other up on our families, summer activities, and still talk about how we both met. She was an Avon Representative at the time. I had just lost my husband and was just basically going through the motions on dad to-day living. One day, a nice Avon lady came to my front door. I had on no make-up, not dressed yet ready for my day, I did offer her a cup of coffee. My new friend helped me find colors to compliment my skin tone. One week later when she delivered my package, she was amazed at the transformation. I was dressed, hair combed, house picked up and I looked better than the week before. We stayed friends even though our schedules do not allow us to get together as often anymore. 

I appreciate my friends. They accept me when I am in a good mood or when I am feeling a little melancholy. I know they have prayed for me over the loss of both my husband and my son. It is a nice feeling when I am feeling sad, someone will ask”how are you doing today Julie?” One of the comments I have heard the most is”I can’t even imagine”. I have learned how to live without my son, you never forget them or the good time with them and the difficult times you shared. I have so many wonderful memories of the fine young man Levi had become. One of my most cherished photos in my living room is the one where when our picture was being taken, Levi picked his mom up and my cousin snapped the memory. I remember we were both laughing because Levi told me”how many sons can pick up their mother?” 

This has been a long journey of pain, healing, acceptance, and most of all, the love and support of family and friends. I could not have done this without any of you. The prayers, getting together for coffee and a good cry,and turning my son’s old bedroom into my dressing room. I have friends who have also lost a son or a daughter, they shut the door to the child’s room and never go in it again. I chose to turn my son’s old bedroom into my dressing room. I love getting dressed in the morning and putting on my pajamas at night. I find comfort in seeing his pictures on his wall and reading his hand written notes on his message board. 

When we were born, we were not guaranteed the “perfect life”. We appreciate the little things in life that gives us joy. I know my son is smiling down on me from heaven. I wake up every morning knowing how proud he is of me, his mom who has persevered through my grief and come out the other side into happiness. Hug your kids extra tight today, let them know how proud you are of them, let them know how loved they are and you are glad they are in your life. You are not promised tomorrow , so make today count. 

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A Nice Day Trip

June 7, 2018 at 9:19 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , )

 

Yesterday, a dear friend of mine and I decided to plan a day trip. We were going to spend the day in a quaint little town overlooking the lake. First my friend needed to pick up a Memorial wrath as her mothers headstone had been delivered. Her parents had a plot bought several years earlier so they could be buried together and not burden the children. When my friend and I had gotten into town, we headed for the cemetery to place the wreath on the grave. Let me tell you, there is nothing like getting lost near a cemetery and cannot find the right road to take. After driving around for a half hour, we finally found the road. When we arrived, the grounds keeper was cutting the grass. It took us several minutes walking up and down the rows of graves to find her mom and dad. We took a few pictures and then headed back into town. I am glad I had the day off from work that I could go and help her celebrate her parents. They were like parents to me as well. 

The morning was sunny and breezy, the drive is a picturesque drive with good 1970’s music, beautiful scenery, and great conversation. I never get tired of driving through the forest, or passing a pretty lake. We are always on the lookout for deer on the way. Sharon and I were reminiscing about the first time we had met. She was my son Levi’s Kindergarten teacher; we had become fast and lasting friends over the years. On Friday nights, we would take the kids for an hour drive to our favorite church the out for ice cream after. I needed some good friends, it was a difficult time for me after my husband passed away. Their kids were a couple of years older than my son, so we would talk child rearing. it was nice to have someone I could talk to. 

 I find even if the plans you have are not what you expected, you can still make an enjoyable day out of it. I would like to think I am getting older and more creative with my days off. summer has never been one season I liked. The heat, the humidity, the bugs, the allergies, the water bill (that took the place of the furnace bills in the winter), keeping your flowers alive long enough to enjoy them. This year, I have decided enjoy the summer by being ‘a tourist in my town and maybe a quaint small town or two.’ Enjoying a walk around the boardwalk, having a snack at an outside cafe, have a coffee at a new coffee-house, check out a new art gallery, it has changed how I live my days.  I only have to water my lawn and flowers for three months, the only project this year is fill the holes in my backyard from the trees I had removed and maybe extend my patio. I live in a great neighborhood with awesome neighbors, have a nice little house that really feels like a vacation year round. 

I do not have the money to build an outdoor kitchen, a fire pit, a swimming pool, or an outdoor fireplace. I will leave that to my home where I go to celebrate my can’t take care of this anymore years. I know it is a growing trend to have an outdoor retreat for the family. I am glad families are investing into the future with grand kids someday, but for now, they can enjoy a yard where it is a home away from home stay-cation spot. I have seen some beautiful homes nestled in the forest or by a lake. Why would you want to go anywhere else?  Some backyards are landscaped in multi levels. a great place to pitch a couple tents and a fire pit. Mom and daughter afternoon pool day. Pack your towel and sunscreen in a tote bag and carry it to the pool party. Simple ways to create lasting memories that is passed on. 

 

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A Much Needed Evening

May 31, 2018 at 8:43 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , )


Yesterday afternoon, a friend and I went into town to enjoy the farmers market.  There weren’t as many Venders as  in the previous years. We decided to make our way back to the main street where many quaint shops and outside cafe’s are. My friend spotted a wine tasting booth on the other side of the street so we stopped and sampled the homemade wine.

We had four choices  of wine and tiny crackers to choose from; My friend and I were pleased to learn the wine is made here locally. When we were ready to leave,the lady told us about the great cheese booth next door. We went over and had home-made goat cheese and fresh made artisan bread. We both decided we were going to visit both the small winery and the goat cheese farm. Both businesses are rural and close to home.

My friend and I were on our way to dinner before we stopped for wine and cheese samples. I was in for another surprise; We went into what looked like a simple bar. Outside was getting chilly, so we asked if we could eat inside. I just want to say the staff was very pleasant to talk to and you could tell they liked their job. We ordered our food and was visiting about the weekend ahead. The food took  longer than I expected to arrive My friend assured me this would be worth the wait. I have never seen a bigger french dip sandwich in my life! We both stayed longer than usual trying to eat it all. Afterwards, we waddled to the car. Before going home, we drove around the tree-lined streets in the area,commenting on either older homes were being replaced with new ones or the homeowners decided to add-on to the existing structure.  Most of the homes in the area are well-kept,nice curb appeal and freshly painted. 

I have had a busy two weeks, it was nice to go into town with a dear friend and visit some good people. I need to get away like this more often. I try and have a dinner and movie night with another friend twice a month. We both like Agatha Christie, and Tommy and Tuppence. My friend owned a B&B for years so we enjoy elegant snacks instead of your normal cheese and crackers(smile). I am glad I have dear friends like Katherine and Lavonne who share my same interests. We have so many quaint towns close by to enjoy a day trip. Sometimes I enjoy spending the day-off alone,  writing a post, reading a good book, setting outside listening to the birds chirping, or planning my backyard make-over design. I took today for myself. I planned my meals for the next few days, I put back on my pajamas, having a nice cup of tea right now, I am enjoying the fact that I have nothing to do today. 

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Art Walk

May 24, 2018 at 5:56 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

A few years ago, I participated in an Art Walk/ book signing event down town. I was excited because this would be one of my first major events. I had two dear friends who were also participating signing their books. Art Walk is a Second Friday event held down town each month for local artists, gallery owners, a specialty shops. It is a night of wine tasting, maybe a sculpture unveiling and most of all, everyone having a good time.

I didn’t know how much work went into preparing for my event; Putting ads in the local newspapers, Good News Northwest is a christian publication, and a radio announcement. Time for the big day. We all Drove to the event together to set up for the evening book signing. We set up in a quaint little specialty shop that used to be a book store owned by my friend who is participating in the event. I knew this would be a special night for her connecting with old friends and customers.

I was so excited about my first book signing that I forgot my purse in my friends basement. This would not had been a problem except, I am getting ahead of myself. We are st the event, selling and signing books having a great evening. After the Art walk was winding down, two of our companions were in the wine tasting room having a fabulous time. Faye and I were wondering how we were going to get home since the designated driver was no longer available. *(S) gave my Faye his car keys and wished us well. This was a nice Cadillac, Faye was afraid to touch anything,  so the ride home was quiet. 

When my friend and got back to the stunning beautiful mansion of our companions, we discovered the we needed two keys to get into the house. I went in through an open window and let my friend in. I then realized I was given the key when we left for the event but forgot my purse downstairs in their basement. I picked up my purse, still not thinking both keys are in my purse. I let Faye out the front door a mad dash for the garage door before it closed. My friend remarked” I didn’t know you were a stunt woman besides a local author.” We both laughed and headed to our homes. I will never forget the friendship, laughter and the wonderful people who stopped by our book signing table to talk and let us sign one of our books for them. I live in a great community.

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It’s That Time Again

May 17, 2018 at 8:50 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

It’s that time once again. Time to get our yards in shape for entertaining family and friends. I hear lawn maintenance is over one billion dollar industry. I know friends who have the Better Home And Garden Homes who will replace the flowers four times a season.  They spend nine hours per week weeding, mowing, pruning, dead heading plants, fertilizing, and watering.  I understand to have the gorgeous yards take a lot of work.

I am happy to say my gardening skills are getting better with my middle age. I, of course, have a gardener to advise me  some easy ideas to have the look of a beautiful back yard retreat. I decided to fill in holes left when three trees were taken down in January. Instead re-planting shrubs, I decided to fill in the holes with good dirt and expand my hop scotch patio by fifty feet. I need more entertaining space and add a fountain,and last, a pergola. Every year, I plan for a couple small projects to update my yard and create the space I want to have friends come and barbecue.

I watch the Home Improvement shows especially the ones that showcase a small yard. There is so much a homeowner can do on a budget. Adding a fire pit brings loved ones roasting marshmallows over an open fire. A good friend added an outdoor day bed to her backyard retreat. You can either lounge in front of the pool, watch the kids play volleyball in the pool. They say your home is your biggest investment., I agree; You don’t have to upgrade your current home, just make some simple improvements your family can enjoy for years to come especially if you love the neighborhood in live in. 

Every year, I look forward to the Annual garden Tour. It is a good way to get good ideas for your own retreat. Some retired gentlemen have created a secret garden for their wives to enjoy. I can imagine how nice it is on a summer morning, birds merrily chirping, squirrels running across the telephone wires, watching butterflies fluttering around picking a favorite flower to enjoy. I know deer come in and walk around the yards. What a treat to see them roaming around in the backyard. I would just like to appreciate the hard work and dedication the Garden Club puts into a hobby many after they retired. 

The older I get, I am trying to enjoy every season in my life. Getting together with dear friends, putting in roses to complete my Victorian Garden(in a front flower bed). I still like simple elegance. Succulents are a good way for me to have a nice flower bed without killing the plants. I am learning about rocky soil and adding rich nutrient dirt, and hen I don’t have to pray for the best. I think my late husband would be proud of me for keeping our forever home nice. I have always taken pride to keep the house clean, watering the yard, planting a few flowers so it looks like someone lives here. I have dear friends who painted my home and made the house look fresh again. I am starting to enjoy this middle age life of mine. 

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