Back To Reality

June 23, 2019 at 7:16 pm (Uncategorized, Memoir, Creative Non- Fiction, Middle age, Life beyond parenting, positive thinking, blogging, life lessons) (, , , )

Last week, I went on a stay-cation. I can always count on it raining, no, down pouring about the time I decide I need a break from my normal routine. Friends do not ask me what I did for fun that week off, they know I enjoy my home town. It was nice getting a break from having to water my lawn so much, the temperatures were staying in the high 60 degrees mark for the most part.

I ventured out of my home one day and finally went to a big box store that just opened up. I think this store has a Lowes beat in size. I walked in thought this place is huge. It will take me three days to see everything like at Disney Land. I felt a little bit overwhelmed with how many choices you have for one color of a throw pillow. If you want brown, they have fifty shades of just brown so you can coordinate your bedding or your accent chair in the corner of the living room. I found many double duty furniture solutions for hidden storage or a chair that folds out into a bed for guests. A fun afternoon indeed.

Sometimes, it is nice to take a break from your daily routine, not check emails for a couple days, no computer, keeping cell phone use to a minimum. For some, this seems impossible I mean staying off my phone for a couple days. All the things we do every day just to keep our lives running smooth. Between my job, caring for my aging mom, blogging, and weeding my yard I keep a full schedule. Anyone who knows me laughs because I hate yard work. I am becoming a reformed black thumb gardener. I had two shade trees planted in the back yard recently. I can say with pleasure, they are growing taller and branching out like they are supposed to.

I have not been camping since I was a child. My parents would take off when school let out or in October during hunting season in Colorado. I can truly say, I have my love for driving from my dad. We have visited many National Parks. Seeing Old Faithful is a must for all. It is funny now that my family moved to Post falls years later. I have always enjoyed watching wildlife, step outside your front door and see the forest, able to drive beside the river on a back road. I think this daily routine is one I will never need a break from. I have lived here for thirty-eight years, there are still so many places I have not seen yet. Sometimes it feels like have our own small piece of paradise living right here.

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A Time Of Refreshing

June 18, 2019 at 10:07 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

This week is a time for me to refresh, to unplug from all the cell phone, answering e-mails, computer, and all the other devices that we all need a break from.  I care for my aging mother in the morning, then I will be off for some much-needed fun.

I  have always been a homebody. I love living here and seeing wildlife. You are driving around a neighborhood, and see several deer eating on the front lawn, stopping for wild turkeys to cross the road, following the stream around a mountain back road. I like taking the less traveled forks in the road because you are pleasantly surprised when you see a quaint town with small shops to explore. Last year friends of mine and I traveled to the top of the mountain and looked over part of Coeur d’Alene Lake. The drive back was beautiful.

My mom and I are still expecting relatives to visit this summer. My next door neighbor agreed to come to help me clear the basement of items to donate and then make the space functional. Aside from this, catching up on reading some good books in the park, taking some afternoon drives around the lakes in the area, binge-watching my favorite shows, getting out and hiking Tubbs Hill, meeting friends for lunch at our favorite upscale restaurant. I may even go on a silver mine tour, and go to a ghost town in the area.

I can say that I have enjoyed the life I have lived in my home town. I have watched the town grow more and more every year but we still maintain our small town friendliness. I have my favorite places I shop,  have the oil changed, get my groceries, and get my hair cut. One thing remains the same: The grocery store clerk to my bank teller has the same friendly smile and warm greeting when you walk in. I choose to pay my bills in person instead of online for the reason of I have known the tellers and clerks for the last thirty years and enjoy the interaction with them. This is what makes a town feel like home. I could plan a trip and travel anywhere I wanted this week but where would I be any more satisfied than where I love living? I told this to a friend today in the grocery store. She wondered why I was not on an airplane heading for another destination. Folks come here to enjoy our beauty on a vacation. I think I just may be on to something.

Summer will be short-lived and fall will be here before you know it. The changing leaves on the trees to gold, red and orange, fall drives, sipping cider, planting fall flowers to replace the summer blooms. The coats, boots, sweaters, jeans, scarves, and gloves will replace the shorts and tees, sandals, ice tea, and warm summer days. It seems like summer is shorter every year. The Inland Northwest get the fires that surround us and it makes for dry, hot and smokey conditions for much of the season. Lasy ear, it was advised to stay indoors because of the poor air quality. It is scary when a fire breaks out fifteen minutes from your home. You pray for the families that are in harm’s way and hope that the fire does not spread any further. You take the good with the bad I guess.

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Unexpected, Pleasant Surprises

June 14, 2019 at 12:17 am (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

The last couple of weeks have been a busy time for my mom and I. It seems every week, a relative we have not seen in years coming for a visit. My one cousin was on his way to Montana for a long awaited fishing trip and my Aunt and cousin are coming for a short visit next week.  So many family members said they wanted to come for a visit but something always came up. My mom is not able to travel anymore so it is nice the relatives are coming to see her. When the family started moving away, I know it was hard on my mom, she was used to having company often.

The last family reunion we had was eight years ago when my cousins came to visit from Florida and one from Washington State to help me celebrate my birthday.  It was not only a memorable birthday,  my cousins and I also reminisced about riding horses on our ranch and helping my twin brother walk our lambs one mile around our circular driveway. There was much fun playing with the rabbits, chasing the chickens until the banty rooster decided to chase us for a while. I sure could use a few more birthday celebrations like these.

having so many people come to see us this year makes me want to visit some friends I have not seen in a while. I have been planning a trip to Seattle for five years now.  Between work schedules and family issues, I have not been able to get away. I plan on going to my high school reunion next year. My twin brother and I joked we will be each other’s date for the evening. It will be a nice trip down memory lane catching up with old friends. My brother, best friend and I went to our ten-year class reunion several years ago. I could not remember having a better evening than this.

Life is full of surprises. Some of them are pleasant, some are well (the car needs to be repaired again, or the baby is sick). I love the phone calls that a good friend is on their way over to your house and they brought the meat to BBQ. I realize how busy I have become and need to take time and have a nice evening and spend time with some good company. I older I get, I am thankful for my friends and family that I am blessed to have in my life. I love it when my friend calls me and invites me to spend the afternoon with her going for a drive. We always find a quaint country store and buy an ice cream cone to enjoy. I am beginning to like this season called summer more and more.

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Keeping Your Life On Track

June 8, 2019 at 9:14 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, life lessons, Memoir, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Like so many, I have felt like I am in a funk lately. Sometimes you feel like life is just passing you by or you are trying desperately to keep up with the daily demands in life. I am afraid I am there. Sometimes, I feel like I can not cope with the obligations I have and want to run away.

What it is relief for me is that everyone I talk to is going through something. A family issue, health issue, unemployment,  house hunting, being part of the sandwich generation. Summertime is a busy time of year for many. School is out, vacation planning to do, or some just like to stay home and enjoy the backyard pool. I notice some great gardens taking shape as I drive around the ritzy neighborhoods, I come away with some good ideas to incorporate into my backyard retreat.

I know for me, sometimes I do not know why I have a hard time in the summer but I would like to just move on to fall. Summer brings so many wonderful outdoor activities such as swimming, paddle boarding, hiking, riding your bike, or just enjoying catching up on a good book in the park. I have learned how to enjoy summer more. I plan one special activity to look forward to every week. This afternoon, my good friends are taking me to buy a camper trailer. I am getting out for the afternoon, plus spending my downtime with some good company. I would not call myself an introvert, but I can find myself in my backyard listening to the birds or watching the squirrels eating the birdseed in the feeders.

When I look in my closet for something to wear, I laugh because I have more warm weather clothes than cold. I do have to admit I like wearing a nice skirt and pretty top to run errands. I cannot handle the hot, muggy, sticky days, I cannot eat because I feel sick afterward, the house does not cool down until after ten at night, plus, I do not like to fight the crowds at the beach or finding a choice spot by the lake. My home town is rapidly growing and the traffic is getting busier. This is progress though. One has to eventually have to share the best-kept secrete. Many share my love of the mountains, the lakes, and fishing, the hiking, camping by the streams this area has to offer. Who does not love to look in a farmers field and see a herd of elk quietly grazing?

Luckily, my moods do not stay with me for too long. I have some good friends who keep me grounded and moving forward if I get too melancholy. They miss Julie who is always smiling and has a positive attitude towards life. I am truly loving my middle age lifestyle. I did not think I would have had some of the hardships I overcome, but God has helped me to stay focused on what is really important.

I want to thank you for stopping by and reading my post. I hope you will come by again I appreciate your support.

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Weekend Getaways

May 28, 2019 at 8:47 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

As long as I can remember, I have always loved to go for a drive. maybe because my dad has always taken the family to visit relatives when I was a child. Often times, we split our weekends between my grandparent’s house in Kernville, or in Santa Barbara. I had fun seeing my cousins and enjoyed the different environments of both locations.

On Friday night after my parents came home from work, we had a quick dinner and off we would go in our camper. Kernville was a wild west looking town, small and quaint. The town has not changed one bit since I remember it as a child. My grandparents owned a duplex on the edge of town. I remember my twin brother, my cousin and I all were afraid to go into the converted garage guest room because of the wild boars head hanging in the front room. The family would go swimming in the local swimming hole.

Goleta is a suburb of Santa Barbara. I remember many Easters spent with my family in a quaint trailer park near the beach. I remember having to go down a wooded path downhill to get to our beach. I remember one family member joking about swimming with the sharks….. We probably did because we could hear the seals in the distance. Across the street from the trailer park was a beautiful black horse. The kids would sneak across the street and go pet him. I guess I never realized how fortunate my brother and I were to have two places to visit on the weekends. We often talk about how much we love Santa Barbara and Kernville. Living out of state, it is difficult for me to take a trip back in time.

I guess this is where I have my love of driving as well. I love to take day trips and even not going very far, I feel like I have had a mini- getaway. I live in a four-season climate. I can enjoy the beauty of winter, watching the flowers bloom in the spring, designing my backyard retreat, and then enjoying a nice fall drive watching the leaves change color. I feel fortunate to look out my front door and see the national forest, so many biking trails, and waterfalls to explore local wineries, a local farm that makes goat cheese, floating the river with friends, ice cream shops found in small gas stations in a less traveled road. I find when you get off the main highway, you see more wildlife in the farmer’s field. I was driving a back road a couple weeks ago with dear friends we stopped to let the elk cross the street to the open field. It is fun to watch them standing there watching you as you slowly drive past them.

I love small town living although, my home town is growing. New apartments going up, more traffic, more accidents, but the forest is still unspoiled, wildlife sightings, back roads to keep exploring, and just staying home sometimes and enjoying what the season has to bring.

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Let’s Stay Home

May 23, 2019 at 10:03 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

While grocery shopping yesterday, I went looking through some of the summer items for sale. I ran across this little wood sign that said Let’s Stay Home. I have always loved any idea of a stay-cation or being a tourist in your town or unplugging for the weekend. People are starting to adopt the idea of having friends and family over for an informal dinner outdoors or creating a family weekend getaway at home.

It is easier than ever to create a relaxing retreat of your own. Home Shopping Networks have paired with home decorating experts for a few years showing the homeowner tips to create the home of your dreams. There are countless home improvement catalogs and DIY weekend classes helping the beginner from paint techniques, tile setting, and installing an outdoor fire pit. Families are deciding to stay in their home instead of downsizing. The new empty nesters are updating the family home for future grandchildren.

My yard is half completed. Last weekend, good friends of mine came over and helped me plant two shade trees to replace my late son Levi’s twenty-five-foot pine tree that mysteriously died during this last winter. I was sad at first that the tree died, but then I decided to to take the opportunity to update the old backyard. We expanded my patio with brick pavers(my friend is a paint contractor so he will stain the existing patio to match), cut down the old dead pine tree, and plant my Mother’s day gift from one my second son. Mike has been a part of my family since the boys got in trouble in Kindergarten.  I was surprised when I returned home from a great day trip hiking to find a huge waterfall.

I never thought of myself as a Type A personality, I thought of me as easy going….. My yard is partly finished and I am thankful for all the hard work my dear friends have done for me but with work, caring for my aging mom, and the yard almost completed, I am needing to refocus my energies. I Should be outside right now repainting my front porch columns that my friend sanded and primed ready for paint. But as you can see, I am here writing this post. One of us will get it done soon.  My house is coming together and I enjoy my stay-cations, no wait my Let’s Stay Home state of mind.  I love being a tourist in my own town, getting out seeing the new stores coming in, the new coffee shops, seeing how the City wants to build the new downtown area. We are a small City right now growing more every year. I have to say I liked the town small but in time change does come. I just have to get ready for it.

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A Walk Down Memory Lane

May 16, 2019 at 10:56 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

The other day, I decided to get under the house- the great unknown (spiders, spider webs) and such, and go through some of the many boxes I have compiled over the years. I found some of my late husband’s Karate trophies and his favorite pair of boots, his jacket, and his motorcycle helmet. There are many boxes that I just forgot about after he had passed away suddenly. It’s funny how over the years, friends had offered to help clean the space and you are not ready. I guess you have to be in the right mood to deal with all the treasured memories.

In the far end of the crawl space,  I saw something that looked like someone was trying to build something down there. On closer inspection, I realized the fort my son was building fifteen years ago, was in the final stage of deterioration. I was impressed, to say the least. He found boxes that he used for the walls of his “new bedroom”, he had installed an extension cord, for tv viewing purposes and let us not forget his lamp. I finally figured out where most of his clothes went. I sat on the floor and laughed out loud. I had forgotten he had built this or tried to. He was moved into the bedroom next door after he was discovered.

I think this will make a cold, rainy day project for me on a staycation. I can get help putting all the boxes in the garage and take one out and go through it, donate what is not needed anymore. It is funny when sometimes you look through a box and find what you need and do not have to go rebuy the item. I know I will find clothes that Levi has outgrown, old toys, video games still in boxes keep them in the box mom, they are worth more money he used to tell me. Some of my high school clothes that are a trip down memory lane in itself. I found one of my favorite blouses I wore back then (I could not get the blouse on over my wrist that is how tiny I used to be). that was a shocker for sure. My mom’s favorite story about me is when I threw a party the day I weighed one hundred pounds.

It is fun to rummage through the past and remember what you found important to keep. A good friend started my bell collection years ago when she went on a trip. I watched her kids for her. Two of my favorite Aunts have given me some of the most beautiful prints of their paintings for my home. My dad painted his last picture for my late husband and my six year anniversary, my dad had no more desire to paint afterward. I still have the artwork hanging in my dining room. Life is full of unexpected pleasures sometimes you look in a junk drawer and find a special note from your son giving you his new cell phone number, or a receipt you find reminding you of that special getaway. I enjoy each and every treasure I find.

 

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Enjoying The Afternoon

May 2, 2019 at 9:13 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , )

I cannot believe that it is May already. they say the olde you are, time seems to fly by. I woke up this morning to what looked like another cloudy, cold day. I was pleased to see the sun shining by mid-morning so I could enjoy the afternoon. One of my favorite activities is a day drive. 

Yesterday, a good friend of mine and I had planned to go to a resort town not far from my home town. My friend had to leave earlier than expected, so instead, I weeded my front flower bed; it needed to be cleaned out and ready for succulents to be planted in my urns and bird bath. So I guess my day was well spent anyway. I needed to get to my weed and get my flowers bought before the heat arrives. 

This morning after feeding my mom her lunch, I decided to head out and go around one of the many lakes in the area. We have mountains and forests overlooking lakes or the perfect view for a home. I am fortunate to in a cove that looks out over the vacation home off the river. One of my favorite drives in only twenty minutes from my home. The area is rural with quail, deer, moose sightings and turkeys walk in a straight line along the roadway.  My family used to go to the campground with friends and spend the week with my son camping, fishing, and boating. Friends would come from Oregon to celebrate a holiday or birthday camping. 

The older I get, the more I am starting to enjoy four season living. I call myself semi-retired because I work a thirty hour week now and can now spend time pursuing hobbies I did not think I would enjoy. The last couple of years, friends have come and helped e paint my house, put on a metal roof and update my old furnace. This spring, it is time to take down Levi’s tree planted for my late son. For some reason, it just died this last fall. I decided to plant two shade trees in my backyard and extend my patio and add a patio cover for a basic elegant backyard. I have no desire for a fire pit, outdoor grilling kitchen waterfall, or an outdoor fireplace so I will opt for a basic elegant backyard instead. I  do not have a bucket list of things to accomplish before I die. Sometimes, I think it is a nice way to get together with older friends and see the Grand Canyon or go on that special trip you and your honey planned all those years ago and life got in the way. The only thing I want to do this summer is taking the seaplane tour because we have a beautiful mansion on the tour. I noticed three years ago that the plane soared over my backyard. I thought about actually tidying up the place more and then taking the tour and being proud of my house from the air. I know, I am funny, but it gave me something to look forward to this year and then I can sit back and enjoy my newly designed oasis.

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Girls Night Out

April 24, 2019 at 8:21 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I cannot tell you the last time I was able to get together with the girls for a fun night out. Two weeks ago, I was invited to see a play called”Mousetrap.” It was humorous because I did not know the play was hosted by my church, I told the driver I could have met you here. I laughed so hard all evening trying to figure out who the murderer was like the rest of the audience. By the end of the first act, I knew who it was and I did not tell.

I have always been one who likes to go listen to a good Jazz Band in concert or find a Murder Mystery play. My favorite play Is “A Chorus Line”. In high school, I was able to see it on Broadway. Talk about an extravagant performance. I was in a dance class in school so my class, of course, would have loved to jump on stage and help them rehearse. We laughed about how much fun it would have been. I am blessed to live by a Community theatre that John Travolta’s sister starred in many productions. It was fun when John and his lovely wife came for the opening night performance. They are gracious people.

I am realizing in order to keep a happy mental attitude, you need to have something to look forward to. The weather is getting warmer so now I can concentrate on getting my backyard completed, planting new flowers in my beds, finding two new shade trees to replace the tree that died this last fall. I am planning on having people over this summer so I need to expand my patio and finally add a patio cover. My budget allows for one home improvement project to be done every year. I could not accomplish the updates with the support from friends. The house is really starting to look nice. I live by the river and many families come down the street to enjoy paddle boarding, fishing and swimming in the summer.

The older I get, I am finding with an invitation out to dinner, a movie night in or just meeting up at a local coffee-house, I am getting out, enjoying what my home town has to offer and starting to enjoy the new season. winter is over, and spring is finally here. Flowers are starting to bloom, trees are getting green leaves again, the warmer sunny days ahead, mowing the grass, cutting down dead trees, planting new ones, having friends and family over to show off the renovated backyards. I am glad families are staying in the old homes and creating a backyard dream vacation. Most cannot afford to go to the nice resorts every year so families are looking ahead when the kids go to college or start families of their own. It is smart to create where you do not want to leave but spend several hours by the new fire pit or outside grilling station after dinner, sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine.

 I am really looking forward to the next few years as an empty nester, blogger, and enjoying being middle-aged. Like many, I have suffered a few personal loses but I know my husband and my son would be proud that I keep moving forward and never give up. I keep myself busy with working and caring for my aging mom, writing and just being a tourist in my town. I never thought I would be a tourist in my town but it is really fun. There is always a new coffee-house to try, meet friends for dinner at the new eatery, outdoor concerts, Parade of Homes, Annual Garden tours, and who does n’t love hearing the birds singing in the morning?

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A New Season

April 18, 2019 at 7:29 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, grief, life lessons, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Last night, I attended a ladies bible study by myself. A good friend invited me to go several times, so I finally went with her. I had the most fun I have had in a while. The ladies were gracious hosts making you feel at home. Last week, I heard one mother saying her son was in a play next week. I asked if I could come, we also invited another widow who attends the study to come along also. I love that they made you feel apart of the family and I look forward to next week.

We had an unusual winter as it began snowing in February every day. We are used to getting our winter beginning in December and in February we have some signs of spring. I love the white fluffy snowfall but then you get rain with it and a mixture of heavy slush makes it impossible to shovel let alone drive in unplowed roads. This was the first year that I stayed in most of the winter due to increased traffic and other people driving reckless. I love to look out my front door at the storms coming in from the mountains.

this year, I started to notice a slight change in my outlook on things. I was more tired than usual, my mom had needed more help after coming home from the hospital, I was caring for two households now. I realized I was becoming more depressed and just wanted to be alone. I have a great group of friends who I go out with, but my mood had changed.  I haven ‘t taken a nap in so long, I found myself taking a three-hour nap every day. My co-workers were noticing I seemed more tired and wondered what was wrong. I love my job and the house I work in and get along well with everyone. I was beginning a new season in my life.

I was having my morning coffee one day and realized I felt like I was looking at a glass house, I was on the outside looking inside the house. I felt like I did not fit in I think when you suffer a personal loss such as losing a spouse or son, you feel disconnected from the community. The ladies at the bible study helped me to understand I was not alone in my feelings. Healing takes time, you have to take good care of yourself to continue to give to others. I think the thought of not fitting in is like looking at your glass half empty or half full. When life throws a curve ball how do we deal with the pain and anger? I had to realize the deaths of both my husband and my son did not mean the death of me as well. I am looking forward to the next season of my life. I know it will be full of promise, brighter days, and most of all getting back to the lasting friendships I have made.

Happy Easter everyone. May you hug the kids tighter, let them know you love them, you are proud of them and you are glad they are in your life. We are not promised tomorrow so make the best memories of today.

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