A Sweet Note

May 10, 2017 at 3:38 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent, Survivor) (, , )

 

I am sitting here thinking about a poem my son had written several years ago. My son moved out to help care for his Grandma after his Grandpa passed away. He left all his worldly possessions in his(my) bedroom thinking I was supposed to just store all his stuff(and he had stuff) for free. They trust us with all this valuable treasures to hold  for them scattered in the basement, the garage, still in limbo in the bedroom. I have to give Levi credit though, at least half of the bedroom was packed up in big boxes(left in the middle of the room). I guess he never thought I would actually want to have a guest bedroom; I love that he thought he could still just walk in the front door scaring me half to death because I was not expecting company, go to (my) room now, pick something up and leave after just three minutes. One day I mentioned to him I wanted to make his room my guest room and either he can move out completely or pay rent on his stuff  he left. The look he gave was priceless. He promised to have all his prized possessions out of the house by the weekend. Levi died in a tragic car accident the next afternoon. He was only 20. 

A couple of Months later, I was going through his desk,  I found a small piece of paper with something scribbled on it. When I opened up the note, I found some sound advice. I would like to share with you the mot important words I will ever read except for God’s word. ” Life can change in a moment, live everyday like you mean it, and don’t look back with any regrets.” My son left a lasting legacy of  the fine young man he had become. I miss he mischievous smile, his infectious laugh, his generous heart, and most of all, his appetite for life. A few years ago, Levi and his boss laid new carpeting in my house. It was a treat to get new carpet, and an honor to have my son help lay it. 

Take the time everyday to tell your loved ones how much you love them, you are proud of them, they can live their dreams, make time to get together often. Our lives have become too busy,slow down. The kids really are only young once. So many families cannot get away for vacations,  the new trend is outdoor living spaces. After a hard days work, come home put on the grill, go for a swim, and end the evening in front of the outdoor fire-place( I am jealous). Life is about slowing down and making lasting memories. A lot of private homes are looking nicer than a luxury Hotel. Who needs to go to the movies when you have a home theater? You don’t have to be wealthy to make a few changes the whole family can enjoy for years to come. Watching some of the Home Renovation Shows give you some good ideas on how to improve the home without adding square footage. 

 

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A New Season

May 3, 2017 at 5:26 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , )

A new season is upon us once again. For many families,this will mean new chapters in their lives; Graduates preparing for College, or maybe starting a Military career, venturing into unknown territory with an apartment, a new job, an unplanned pregnancy, or mom decided to go back to school. 

Empty Nest; For so many parents, the very thought that my life is going to change is scary. “We have been a family unit for 18 years now. How can my child think of venturing out into the big black unknown hole?” I have talked to many parents who were not ready to let the kids fly the coop just yet. We think being a parent is going to last forever; we brought them into the world helpless, they one day become a tween, and all of a sudden,they know more than us imagine that! We rejoiced when the kids took the first steps, said the first word, ate without throwing the food on the floor. Hard to think about giving all those memories up now. It is the first day of the rest of our lives my friends. Time to reevaluate our lives. We all of a sudden, are not on time constraints. This was the most incredible feeling I have ever felt. I could actually shop and not dart out the door to get back to the house in time for the bus. All of a sudden, I actually had change in my coin purse, I had hot water once again, no late fees at the video store, food in the fridge, no late night pizza deliveries, no sneaking in the door 2 a.m. Our lives indeed become different. 

The Problem; what to do with all my fee time. Many couples join a gym and get back into shape. the home renovation revolution is in full swing. We build onto our homes a new suit, new decks, revamped back yards for you guessed it the kids coming home for the weekend. I think so many families are so busy,they cannot get away to an exotic location, so backyard decks complete with an outdoor grilling station, pool side comfort, and a place to pitch the tent. I have seen a few commercials that show case what can be done to update a basic backyard with breath-taking results. Having a spectacular out-door area does not take the place of a good day at the park. Flying kites, feeding the ducks, playing on the play ground with other kids are healthy also. What a nice place for grandma and grandpa to come visit for the weekend in a four star retreat. 

So much has changed since I was a little girl. We had a swimming pool in the back yard where the neighbors came for an evening swim followed by desert. We spent many years hosting pool parties and pool table parties. We had a small house in a tract home like many families in the 1960’s. My dad added on a room onto the back patio.  I remember watching my dad and grandpa building our fire place in our living room  out of brick. My dad was the proud owner of a slate pool table. My granddad bought my brother and I a smaller pool table to host our own pool tournaments. Families are busy folks now. Business trips abroad, deadlines to meet, business lunches,  many weekends are tied up with work. Families cannot hardly make ends meet without two incomes.  We needed a nice getaway from the stress of our week, so we created a mini- fortress to escape. Who does not love to enjoy the family outside by the pool, grilling steaks and listening to the kids play football before dinner? Sounds better than the weekly deadlines. Parents are finding ways to have date nights in the backyard by the outdoor fire place. In our ever busy schedules, we are finding time to make lasting memories by having mini weekend escapes in our own town. As the summer begins, the boats come out,a day at the lake,followed by a big BBQ in the backyard. As the kids leave for College,getting married,having families of thier own, at least on thing never changes mom and dads. It is a good place to be.

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A Fresh Cut

April 28, 2017 at 9:15 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , )

Last October, I went into my favorite Salon to get my Fall do. I usually cut my hair the same way all year round,this time I decided to let my hair grow out. I did not realize the difference in the way I was treated with longer hair. I guess I looked really young to people. A couple of weeks ago, I went to a play at the College. I almost thought the play was cancelled because it was fifteen minutes before the first act, and nobody was in line yet. I was about to enter and find my seat, when the usher showed me the sign on the door that read (serious) ‘ For Mature Audiences). I almost asked her how old she thought I was, but chuckled and found a seat. I have been told it is a compliment to thought of as younger than ones age. I am fifty five and not having a single problem with my age. 

I laugh at the memory now, but back in High school, if you had long hair like Marcia Brady, you were expected to keep it long. (I think so the others could watch you walk down the hallway and admire it). My problem was one, I hated my long hair. I could not get a regular job because I looked too young, and my hair was really thick and hot in the summer. I was a brave soul once and actually cut my long beautiful hair three inches.(gasps) I though I committed a cardinal sin or something. People who never talked to me before wondered why I would cut MY hair. I cut my hair when I was out of school and moved to another State; I cut my hair in the popular Lady Diana cut nobody liked the cut, I had a headache for three days afterwards and wanted my hair back even if I had to glue it back together. I have lived with the same cut for over thirty years now. I have a nice color and will not let my hair grow out again (until fall, when it turns cold).

Being middle age, I look at things different now. If my socks do not match, it will not kill me or the one who noticed and had to point it out to you(true story), My sunglasses are almost always in my car console, Keys always(yeah right) go in my purse the second I get out of the car, I will never forget my grocery list and find the items by memory. My body hurts when I wake up in the morning, I have not even gotten out of bed yet, I will probably almost always go into a room and wonder what I was in there for, where did I park my car?, I had it in my hand a minute ago. 

I am learning people are too busy, slow down, just remember, have fun, does it have to be perfect?, are you living your dreams or did life happen?, Some of us are in the best years of our lives. Those who have grand kids look forward to the next visit, some folks are pet grandparents and look for the next visit as well. I wake up each morning and listen to the birds chirping, I hear many birds in the trees all happily talking to each other. The squirrel running up and down the trees in the back yard and the dog serenade.  I open my window in the cool morning and sip my first cup of coffee. After my son became a young man, my time was freed up because he could make his own appointments and drive there himself. (although I would like to take him one last time). Life is what you make of it. everyone has had disappointments along life’s highway. Some become angry and bitter, while others make a pitcher of lemonade. I want to squeeze out every ounce of life I have left and I am thankful for the love and support of family and friends. Life is good indeed!

 

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Renovation Nation

April 19, 2017 at 7:03 pm (COMFORT AND JOY, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent, Uncategorized) (, , )

While watching one of my favorite Home and Garden shows last night, I noticed a growing trend in the tiny house market and neighborhood renovations. Some folks are taking the idea of our Grandmas garden shed and turning them into houses. I was surprised to find out how many varieties of small house living that is out there: You can choose from Portable Cedar cabins, Victorian, Modern, Urban Industrial and the list goes on. I was surprised at how much living space went into one of these mini houses. I am amazed at every nook and cranny is used in these tiny spaces. you really can design your mini home to fit your interests. They can be built as elaborate or modest fit to your budget.

I think the young people are deciding to buy a more permanent tiny home rather than rent. They can build their portable house to fit their individual needs. Some young adults are into sports and have the need to travel so this is a perfect option for them. Instead of renovating an existing home, some couples are downsizing to a smaller home or mini home options. While some families are choosing to stay in their forever homes and  renovating, others are deciding it is time to downsize. Our Grandparents had the family home and then the vacation cabin on the lake. When the kids went off to college and the parents retired, they often time sold the family home and lived in vacation home by the lake. I am one who chose to update my home with a fresh coat of paint inside and out and had a metal roof put on last year. My late husband and I bought our together home thirty years ago, I raised my young son here until he moved out at age 19. After my son passed away from a tragic car accident in 2007, I turned his old bedroom into my dressing room. I love setting in his room remembering not so long ago when he painted his bedroom the most hideous green color you ever saw. It puts a smile on my face while I am getting dressed in the morning and putting on my pajamas at night. 

I am impressed at the number of home renovation shows are on now. Long forgotten Cities are getting a new start with the help of designers and sold to young families who otherwise could not afford to own a nice home.   One of my favorite shows was one that showcased curb appeal.The Host  could not make over the whole neighborhood, so they chose three homes to boost curb appeal with the thought the rest of the neighbors would want to add fresh landscaping as well. The host showed an example of just a couple changes can bring big impact. I have a couple favorite neighborhoods I like driving around to get fresh ideas for my small house. New plantings,a couple more trees in the back yard and I am set for another summer outside on the patio drinking my cold coffee. Life is good indeed!

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Stay-Cation

March 20, 2017 at 8:49 pm (Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I am blessed to live in the Pacific Northwest.  I don’t have to travel miles and miles to visit the national forest, I live within driving distance of three ski resorts, families are gearing up for fishing, hiking, bike trails galore. With so many outdoor activities to choose from, I can enjoy so much right here. I am still caring for my aging mother, so I can’t leave for a week to go gallivanting the country side. I found there are a few rules when planning your days off.

Make sure (if single) clean your house before you start enjoying your time off. No one wants to vacuum, dust, clean fridge so you can stuff more food in,etc.etc. The idea of staying home for me is relax(what exactly is this foreign word anyway?) I am fortunate to live by the river; Many humans and dogs walk the trails everyday.(I know because they pass my house on their way). It is a nice nature walk among the rocks and pine trees, you might see a badger, ducks swimming in the cove, a deer walking the trail eating.The older I get, I appreciate the fact I do not have to far to enjoy the beautiful landscape. We have at least 20 lakes in our area to enjoy. I used to like fishing when my late husband,son and I would get up early, pack a sack lunch and fish until early afternoon. maybe I should get my dads fishing gear back out of the garage. My son caught his big fish using his grandpa’s pole.

I love to check out the local Library: Twice a Month, I get together with other moms and retired ladies for a morning of coffee and color therapy. it is a fun morning spent talking about middle age life for many and listening to stories(we can relate to) of young moms struggles in child raising. I have talked to people who can’t believe the Library has something more to offer other than books. The kids and teens have a corner all their own to explore,complete with a reading corner,computer games and the web, story time, arts and crafts. Gardening for beginners,building container gardens, planting basics, computer 101,so many book clubs from romance,to murder mysteries. It is fun to discuss a book with others, you get four different view points. And to think, I used to take my young son to the Library so he could play computer games and check out a book. I guess one of the hazards of being a writer and Author, you are addicted to your local Library.

Being a tourist in my town: I do not get the chance very often to head into town. The main street is quaint tree-lined street full of shops, I could spend a day just browsing each shops, and enjoying our local Art Galleries. The streets re lined with unique metal art creations. One sculpture is of boys kicking a football,one is a huge moose, another is a scaly fish. The other day, I spied a mom picking her son up to let him ride the huge moose. All of the towns electrical boxes were hand painted by the College Art Class. instead of looking at silver or boring green boxes,we now see beautiful colorful scenes like a Moose eating,birds flying,or some pretty flowers. I love to people watch. Find a bench and watch the nice cars drive by or watch the kids eyes with all the Bronze Sculptures. In a few Months the shops will be renting paddle boats, offering Sea Plane rides, see the sail boats gliding along the lake, small boats for fishing, a new activity of paddle boarding. The local resort boasts the longest boardwalk. We also have the only floating green in the country. You can have a taste of feeling wealthy by eating looking out over the floating green and beautiful Lake Coeurd ‘Alene. If you choose, a boat will pick you up at the resort and ferry you out to lunch, a then take you back to your car. Deer is often seen on the green as well as quail, geese, and eagles.

Host a movie marathon day: I love to get together with a couple girlfriends and have a movie day. Each one picks her favorite movie, and enjoy a pot luck of great food and drinks. On an especially rainy day, how fun is it to get together with dear friends and curl up on the couch with blankets and watching one of your favorite shows. Sometimes, it is hard to coordinate schedules,but I like to get together and just have girl time. My friends know me so well. They just call me up and we are on the road again sight-seeing one of our many favorite locations. I have lived here for 36 years, I have found out about so many locations I never knew existed. I guess I need to get out more! Well, I am off again to care for mom. it is grocery shopping day, then her dinner time, and I can once again head to church and call it another great day.

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Another Snowy Day

February 26, 2017 at 9:37 pm (COMFORT AND JOY, Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , )

 

 

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As I was preparing to run some errands for my mom this morning, I saw the sun shinning. I quickly took my shower,got dressed,ate a light breakfast intending to be out the door before the snow started. Too late. By the time I was ready to leave, the snow had begun to fall. It is hard to want to get out into the open road with all the monster trucks who think because they have four-wheel drive, they can go barreling past you like a gust of wind. Or the elderly drivers who can’t make up their minds which lane to be in, so they go really slow and almost cause an accident. My once small town has grown into a small city. You can tell the city is ever-growing by how many traffic lights are being put in.

Don’t get me wrong, I love living here. My family moved from california 36 years ago. I get to enjoy all four season sometimes on the same day. We have a joke, “if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.” I am sure the sun will come out in time for it to set again. Most of the Country has witnessed one of the most incredible winters in years. we have not had so much bitter cold temperatures followed by feet of snow in ten years. Folks around here would call it a normal winter. I usually love this time of year,watching the children sled down the side of a hill,watching ice skaters teaching kids how to ice skate at the local pond, sledders being pulled around the neighborhoods by a ATV. Brings back teenage memories of when I first moved here and my dad pulled family and friends around his neighborhood in his 1946 Willies Jeep. We didn’t have the traffic speeding by , so we could be pulled around the corner and almost be slammed into a parked car-dad was full of himself, but we kept going with him. today, the skiers are on cloud nine I bet,so are the snow boarders and inner tubes. A hill has been created for their enjoyment also.

I used to watch my young son and his best friend-she lived next door, spend all weekend building a snow fort that connected both our yard together. Levi did not go out to build a snowman no sir, he wanted something dramatic. He kept busy and I knew where he was until dark. Ashley and Levi came in at dark and had dinner then off to bed for another round of creative planning. I wish I would have had a video camera then to record the planning committee at work. When the snow was used up in his yard, Levi minus Ashley would then go over to his grandparents house and start in their yard. I think Levi was trying to figure out how to link both yards together so he could crawl the five miles both ways. I remember well the day I bought Levi his very own snow shovel. He put it in back seat of my car and it ended up at his grandpa’s house so they could shovel grandpa’s driveway. Little stinker.  As I am writing today, I am remembering memories I thought long forgotten. Levi was a character. He was never held down by a two foot snow drift, he would conquer the snowy hill with a sled in tow, sharing with the neighborhood kids. We didn’t have the traffic we have today speeding down the street,so the kids were safer ending in the middle of the street.

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Procrastination, Just A Matter Of Time

February 16, 2017 at 6:48 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Empty house, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , )

Two days ago I was getting ready to blog,when my mom called to ask me if I was going to ever(love that word) pick her up for her Doctor Appointment. I called the office to confirm only to find out she didn’t have one that morning. I called her back told her of my findings and set back to work with my blog post. By now, I was out of the mood for writing. So, I decided instead to run some errands thinking I would come back to writing later in the day. No dice. By now, I could not remember the awesome(over done) story I had in mind earlier in the day.

I write a story in my mind sometimes twenty times trying to get just the right wording,story line and the perfect post. One, I had to realize there is no perfect post. I write about what interests me, my middle age life without my husband and son, and moving forward though the pain. I think sometimes I have a hard time because I do not want to write a post that makes someone feel uncomfortable about my personal challenges,but I feel my story can benefit many families who have gone through similar circumstances. I remember a comment I read in my blog I hope did not shape how I do write. I was told my stories are too sad to read. I have read some other blogs about grief and healing, I understand the difficulty in moving forward. I write stories of muddling through my middle age. I am thriving not just surviving.

So I think procrastinating is part of writing. We want the perfect yet unrealistic story to post that we hope everyone who reads it will love. When I write, I remember events in my life that were long since forgotten.  I love it when I run into one of my son Levis friends today and we share a story I did not know about. I write often about hug your kids extra tight tonight,tell them you are proud of them and they can reach their goals if they try. We are not promised tomorrow. I am a blessed woman having experienced being a wife and mother even if for a little while. I live in a great neighborhood with good friends who share being empty nesters with me. I do live the good life.

My life is different from many others who are still happily(hopefully) married. I get together often with friends and take a scenic drive with a good girlfriend or being active in my church. I have been working on some home improvements the last couple years. I feel bad I do not have a horror story to share about home improvements gone wrong. Our house was move in ready; three bedrooms, freshly painted, new landscaping, my house is the only one with a porch. If you met the previous owner,you would understand he wanted his house to be different.Works for me. As I confess, I am on my way to becoming a reformed black thumb gardener.I have kept my trees alive in my back yard for twenty years. I tried dead heading my flowers, pruning them back in the Fall, I Do water. All the neighbors agree, our housing tract was probably built on a river bed. How else do you explain the Big rocks we keep finding when we mow every summer. I am almost temped to remove the grass in my back yard,let the rocks come up to the surface and the plant drought tolerant plants. I mean the way the rocks keep showing themselves,I not only will have all the free rocks I need for the project, no more watering or lawn care provider. Works for me.

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Life’s Journey

February 2, 2017 at 12:46 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Empty house, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , )

images (4)The road up ahead is paved with uncertainty. Yesterday is gone,tomorrow is not promised so we make the most out of everyday. All our hopes and dreams yet unfulfilled, every goal yet to be reached, every sunrise and sunset gives us another chance to realize our full potential. Don’t let go of your dreams,don’t let life get in the way of your goals,don’t let now become tomorrow or believe it is too late.

Life as we all well know,doesn’t always go as we planned. A financial setback, health scare, death, divorce or child moving out can alter our goals. We all dream about one day when the honey and I are all alone, living by the lake, fishing until dusk everyday. We dream about the family and friends visiting us for the day,taking the boat out on the lake,watching the grand kids inner tubing behind the boat, then slowing down and enjoying the beautiful trees and lakeside homes. (sorry, I was day dreaming a minute). I cannot complain about my life; I have suffered a couple personal tragedies, but I really can say I am happy where my life is now. I have a good job,the love and support of family and friends, I still have my mom, and most important, I am learning to enjoy the beauty in each new day.

I lost two dear friends this week. One young man was a client,the other, an old family friend. Neil was the world’s greatest story tellers. He was the life of any party,he and his wife liked to host New years eve Murder Mystery Parties. My parents attended a few,good thing they walked around the block to the party because they couldn’t and shouldn’t have driven home. In between the murder mystery,was a seven course meal complete with wine. Neil took my young teenage son under his wing as a contract painter. He would pay Levi very well plus kept him out of trouble. The day before my sons funeral, Neil came and freshened up the paint on the front of my house. The next morning, Neil and his wife drove me to the Memorial service.One story I love was Neil loved donuts,he would wake his youngest son up at 3 am on Saturday whispering in his sons ear”they are fresh”.Off they would go at dark thirty. eating the first  hot, fresh donut of the morning. Cool dad.

Keep what is important, let go of what is not, look for the beauty in each new day, love a lot, forgive more for we do not know if this is the last time we will see our friends or family, hug your kids extra tight,let them know how much you love them, how proud you are of them, how glad you are they are in your life. Help them achieve their dreams.

 

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The Best Is Yet To Come

January 27, 2017 at 5:47 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , )

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When my husband and I married,we thought we would go old together. On our honeymoon in Canada,we imagined buying our first house, talked about having kids, traveling after we retired,envisioned a life as proud Grandparents someday.My life took a different direction.

We start out with so many plans for our future. My husband had a seizure while in Canada on our honeymoon. After Jerry was released from the hospital,we came home (three days early). He really thought his marriage to me was over. I had ruined my life with him he thought. Funny….. I reminded him about our vows we just said to each other not a week earlier. After I convinced him I was not going anywhere,we started our lives together. We bought a single wide trailer not long after we were married. I remember our first night in our new home in our bed. We were pinch each other to see if it was real or not. Homeowners. We noticed there weren’t any kids playing in the neighborhood. We realised wer lived in an adult park. When were found out we were pregnant,we were told six months after the baby was born,we would have to move. We started looking for a permanent home the next day. When I was six months pregnant with our son,we moved into our first house. The original homeowners of the trailer came back from texas and asked if they could buy back the trailer.(Talk about God looking out for us). We turned them down-no we couldn’t believe how much God was blessing us. My cousins were also moving into a new home and had a Uhaul trailer ready to go back to the store. My mom asked if we could use the trailer for a few hours before it went back. With help from family,we were moved in that night. Again we played the pinching game not believing we just bought our forever house. There was an empty field across the street from our house-in fact we had only four houses on our street. Down the hill rom us is a bay. back then,you could launch your boat. You could hike around the trails in the summer,and sled down the hill in the winter.

My husband son and I lived in our home six years before Jerry passed away from complications from a disease. I still live in the house my husband and I bought together on our second Anniversary. My son always complained he only lived in one house his whole life(tragedy isn’t it) Gosh,to have stable mother,what is the world coming to? Life as a single parent presented many challenges and difficulties-Levi and I survived them all. I am proud of the fine young man he had become.  At the ripe old age of 19 years old, my son and I agreed it was time he left the nest. He moved in with his Grandma to help take care of her after his Grandpa passed away. Levi would ask his grandma for a ride somewhere and she would tell him to look on the calendar to see if she could fit him into her schedule. I thought it was so cute. she was part of the Red Hat Ladies, went on weekend trips with the rambling Rovers, ate lunch at the Senior Center and had Monthly games of Bunco at her house. I remember when Levi got his driver’s license, his grandma didn’t have to drive anywhere. His first vehicle was a Dodge Ram truck. It was fun watching my mom trying to climb inside his truck; She almost needed a boost, but he wasn’t going to do it.

My life was again forever changed when my son passed away in a tragic car accident at the age of 20. I was just getting used to being an empty nester,my son stopping by for a short visit(three minutes,because he forgot something in his room.) I finally let him know I had plans for his old bedroom and if he didn’t want to pay a storage fee on his room, he needed to move out completely. That got him motivated. Halloween night,I can still remember it well Levi was all moved out. I sat in the dark drinking a cup of coffee with his cat enjoying the quiet. I turned his old bedroom into my dressing room. I love getting dressed in the morning and putting on pajamas in the evening. His room turned a beautiful shade of beige instead of a sickly green when his friend came over and helped him paint while I was at work(is there any other time?) I have so many memories of putting my son back to bed again and again, I bought Levi a fish tank. He still got into bed with me. I bought a light for the tank, he stayed in bed watching the bubbles and his fish swim around until he fell asleep. We moved into the tween years where I didn’t know if we could survive the bad attitude we came out of it unscathed. Time flies by so fast while raising our kids. If I could talk to a young mother today, my advice to her would be to enjoy every moment God gives you as a parent. Enjoy the good days and learn from the bad ones. Instruction books were not given at the hospital when your new baby was handed to you. (someone would have rewritten it anyway). parenthood even in difficult times is the most important job a parent will ever have.

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A Best Friend Forever

January 19, 2017 at 8:20 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , )

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I have a best friend I have known since kindergarten.I remember sitting beside my friend squirming in my seat trying to listen to my Sunday school teacher; After class, Karen and I found our parents walking hand in hand. We went all through school together,saying hi in the halls. I really liked her fashion sense. Her hair was always cut to fashion,her clothes were on the best dressed list and she has a winning smile. I think her mom cut everyone’s hair in high school except for mine. She was a best kept secrete. In all honesty, I could not get a hair dresser to touch my hair because it was so long, they did not want me to cut it. (Hard when your hair becomes your identity). I did finally get someone to cut my hair(reluctantly). How hard is short hair anyway? The next day at school, I thought I was going to be launched into outer space I thought it was my hair on my head. I muddled through the last two years of school getting good grades and working.

My friend and I lost track of each other for a few years until we met again in of all places Disneyland in 1990 after my husband had died. It was so nice to run into her again. We exchanged phone numbers keeping in touch within our busy schedules. I had since moved to Idaho, she still resided in california; We were both busy moms raising our boys into fine young men. Over the years,both of our lives have taken a different direction than we expected. We shared in conversation the hardships and difficulties we had in parenting. Those tween years can be brutal especially as a single parent. One by one,our sons became young men before our eyes and was ready to enter the great big world. Karens sons entered the Military after Graduation while Levi already had a good job laying Granite counter tops and installing carpet. All of a sudden,we were both Empty Nesters. It takes some getting used to.

With our sons grown and out of the house, it was time to do everything we wanted while we were still young to do them. I worked full-time in the Hotel Industry while Karen worked in nursing; Karen might have gone on a few more vacations than I had but we were pretty busy just living our daily lives. Levi came over for a few minutes to pick up something from his room(gone were the dreams when he came over for dinner and afterwards chat about what was going on now in his life) Karen’s sons were gone in the Military so she did not see them either. (What happened to that perfect dream we had when we were little girls?)It is a different feeling seeing your son driving around town in his new car. You yell hi son from inside the car. My best friend and I have both suffered personal tragedies the past few years. We keep in touch and pray for each other. Meeting Karen was no accident all those years ago. She was destined to be one of my best friends that I really not only admire but appreciate her generosity as well. I thank God for her everyday.

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