Forever Changed Lives

September 6, 2017 at 7:30 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Survivor) (, , , )



Lives have been turned upside down, side ways, tumbled, and families are waiting for relief.  From the storms that rage on from Irma and now Jose,the fires raging in the Northwest,to continuing hot,dry conditions.  My home is surrounded by the heavy, nasty smoke in the northwest. I gave up watering my yard,but decided to have mercy on my Hydrangea and cut them back.  We have not had any measurable rainfall since June.

The fires raging out of control in Oregon was deliberately set. I still cannot believe someone can set a fire in a beautiful forest enjoyed by so many FOR FUN. I heard on the news campers are still not following the no camp fire bans and some have resorted to setting around a propane camp fire. Campers are brave souls because when animals get scared, they are more dangerous. I don’t know about you,but  hearing a moose cry outside my camper would be an eerie sound, a bear trying to come inside where it is maybe safer,( he expects a hearty breakfast in the morning). Next Month is the start of hunting season, the game may figure it better to migrate this year to a safer location. (Forget the natural GPS,) It has been a crazy whether this summer soon becoming Fall.

Maybe this is the reason so many homeowners are deciding to stay home and turn the home into a family resort. Backyard grilling station, a nice pool, fire pit, covered patio. I think it a wonderful idea you don’t have to fight the kids to pack, no packing the car, if you forget something, just head back inside-you can now afford the better cuts of meat for your camp out. Oh, burgers and dogs are fine,but sometimes you want to resort live. My favorite summertime commercial showed a mom and daughter in their swim suits, getting ready to sit by backyard pool; later, dad grill dinner, after kids have gone to bed, parents enjoying a glass of wine by the outside fireplace. Anyone can add a vacation feel to your home. After roasting hot dogs over the BBQ, pitch the kids tent in the backyard, (let them listen to the cricket’s chirp over the freeway noise) In the morning,make a pancake station and let everyone add the toppings. Sure to be a big hit.

Families will soon get back to the new normal. Many live in areas that flood every year, tornadoes are common, fires rage on, and choose to rebuild. Many have said they can’t imagine living anywhere else. I pray for hope, peace, getting the fires under control, and Irma and her devastating aftermath. Sometimes you wonder how you can go through so much and keep going strong. Some have lost everything…again…. there is a spirit in these individuals that keep going and fighting. As a Great Nation we still are, e come together, letting go of the fighting, riots, and hate instead showing what we are really made of. We are a melting pot of many ethnic backgrounds,  family values,  traditions, started families, live in small communities, provide for their families,looking forward to the next generation. We live in very uncertain times,we do not know what is around the next corner. Hug your kids extra tight tonight,tell them how much you love them,how proud you are of them and you are glad they are in your live. Nobody is promised tomorrow, make the most out of today.


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A Sweet Note

May 10, 2017 at 3:38 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent, Survivor) (, , )


I am sitting here thinking about a poem my son had written several years ago. My son moved out to help care for his Grandma after his Grandpa passed away. He left all his worldly possessions in his(my) bedroom thinking I was supposed to just store all his stuff(and he had stuff) for free. They trust us with all this valuable treasures to hold  for them scattered in the basement, the garage, still in limbo in the bedroom. I have to give Levi credit though, at least half of the bedroom was packed up in big boxes(left in the middle of the room). I guess he never thought I would actually want to have a guest bedroom; I love that he thought he could still just walk in the front door scaring me half to death because I was not expecting company, go to (my) room now, pick something up and leave after just three minutes. One day I mentioned to him I wanted to make his room my guest room and either he can move out completely or pay rent on his stuff  he left. The look he gave was priceless. He promised to have all his prized possessions out of the house by the weekend. Levi died in a tragic car accident the next afternoon. He was only 20. 

A couple of Months later, I was going through his desk,  I found a small piece of paper with something scribbled on it. When I opened up the note, I found some sound advice. I would like to share with you the mot important words I will ever read except for God’s word. ” Life can change in a moment, live everyday like you mean it, and don’t look back with any regrets.” My son left a lasting legacy of  the fine young man he had become. I miss he mischievous smile, his infectious laugh, his generous heart, and most of all, his appetite for life. A few years ago, Levi and his boss laid new carpeting in my house. It was a treat to get new carpet, and an honor to have my son help lay it. 

Take the time everyday to tell your loved ones how much you love them, you are proud of them, they can live their dreams, make time to get together often. Our lives have become too busy,slow down. The kids really are only young once. So many families cannot get away for vacations,  the new trend is outdoor living spaces. After a hard days work, come home put on the grill, go for a swim, and end the evening in front of the outdoor fire-place( I am jealous). Life is about slowing down and making lasting memories. A lot of private homes are looking nicer than a luxury Hotel. Who needs to go to the movies when you have a home theater? You don’t have to be wealthy to make a few changes the whole family can enjoy for years to come. Watching some of the Home Renovation Shows give you some good ideas on how to improve the home without adding square footage. 


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Stay True To Who You Are

October 28, 2016 at 5:55 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, positive thinking, Single Parent, Survivor) (, , , , )

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When I started my blog over four years ago, It was never to get fame or fortune. I started writing stories from my first book . I hoped my friends would read my posts and maybe like them. I had no idea how many people my stories would touch. I have met so many wonderful readers who have  moving stories forward bout thier loss. Some readers have told me my stories are painful to read and have stopped reading my posts. At first my feelings were hurt,but then I realized it was not a reflection off of me. I have read some blogs on grief and so many are so broken after many years; There is no time period on healing.

Life has thrown me many curve balls; I could have become bitter and angry but then I realized friends and family would avoid me and my pity party. We were never promised a rose garden life. years ago, I wrote my first book a couple of years after my only son Levi’s car accident. I would be asked ” how many copies have I sold so far?” I would tell people” if my book brought some peace to a grieving family, I could not ask for more.” I found out my book is in the waiting area of my local hospital and it was in the waiting room of the Critical care Unit;  River City Hospice recommends the book to hurting families. My book has gone farther than I could have hoped for.

Coming up with weekly blog topics are sometimes difficult for me.I try and blog twice a week. I sit and sometimes stare at the computer screen, but the stories unfortunately do not write themselves. When in doubt, I use a story from my book . Life is wonderful,exciting, I look at the beauty at each new day and really thank God for it. My glass is not half empty. It is brimming over with life, I don’t feel sorry for myself because I will not be a grandmother . I do sometimes wonder where Levi would be today at age thirty. Wow, I am feeling old. Yep,sometimes life throws you a curve ball. it depends on what you do with it.

I have lived in the same town for thirty-five years,in the same house for thirty. I truly feel blessed,I am glad I have my mom,a good jog I love, good co-workers, I turned my sons old bedroom into my dressing room I love to get dressed in there in the morning and pj’s on at night. I am grateful to God who has walked me through some of the darkest days of my life and we still have coffee everyday. I am a blessed woman indeed!


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We Will Never Forget

September 11, 2016 at 8:04 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, positive thinking, Survivor) (, , , )

New York City, NY, September 16, 2001 -- FEMA Urban Search and Rescue teams work to clear rubble and search for survivors at the World Trade Center. Photo by Andrea Booher/ FEMA News Photo

New York City, NY, September 16, 2001 — FEMA Urban Search and Rescue teams work to clear rubble and search for survivors at the World Trade Center.
Photo by Andrea Booher/ FEMA News Photo


My day started out like any other. I was getting ready to open my daycare on this life changing day. I thought it odd that one by one, the parents called to keep the children home this morning. With the day off, I thought I could run some errands and make the most of it. I drove by my church to and I saw many cars in the parking lot. I wondered what could be going on. I parked my car and went inside the coffee shop and watched with others that day the horror unfolding before our eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

My Pastor is a former police officer in Las Vegas , he was called upon to help with the recover efforts at The World trade center. He helped with the bodies being brought in to the make shift morgue. I can remember when he came back he told the congregation that even if a finger came through the door,the finger was saluted because that is how much respect was given tot he heroes who died that tragic day.

It has taken awhile to feel safe again for many Americans. You did not know could happen next. The World trade Center has rebuilt telling the world America is a great nation that will not fold over a coward act. Continue to pray for this next election and continued grace given by God over this nation we love so much.

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Thank You For Your Service

September 5, 2016 at 9:40 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Survivor) (, , )

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Hoopfest 2016

June 24, 2016 at 6:38 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking, Single Parent, Survivor) (, , , )

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Hoopfest is the largest 3-on 3 basketball tourney in the Country.

For two days,400 teams come together for one goal: to be the Hoopfest champions.

Hoopfest started out as a fun basketball game in Spokane Washington over ten years ago. Now,teams all over the world come here to compete. Families come to cheer on their favorite teams or stars that come for the two-day event.

When Hoopfest started, downtown Spokane blocked off three blocks for the competitors. Now over 400 teams participate. There are food courts, shopping,not to mention basketball.

So many lives are changed by this event. last year a group calling themselves Blessing under the bridge came to participate. One was living in the Union Gospel Mission, another in his car and one with his parents and pregnant girlfriend. After the game and the story heard the community came together to change lives. Today all the young men have good jobs a nice place to live and feel blessed.

Get out there and have a fun summer. Unplug and and spend time with the family. Some families have been devastated by tragedy. I miss my son very much. I always say hug the kids extra tight today, tell them how much you love them are how proud you are of them. Life can really change in a moment.


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Living Life With No Regrets

June 10, 2016 at 6:01 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, positive thinking, Single Parent, Sons, Survivor) (, , , , )

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A One sunny sunday afternoon my son Levi Levi went with some friends to float the river, by that evening, he was fighting for his life. After 5 days and countless prayers later, God stood with me when the machines were turned off. He was only 20. Words cannot express the grief I felt that day. Both our lives were forever changed in a moment. A few months later, I was sorting through my sons things. I found a note in his desk. The note said things can chnge in a moment, live everyday like you mean it, don’t look back with any regrets.

How do we handle the curve ball thrown at us? I could have lived my life is depression or I could trust God and move forward in my life. Some live sucking lemons, others make lemonade. There is no formula to healing. One day at a time. Some days I think about Levi and cry most of the day. Not for what I missed out on,but what a fine young man he turned out to become. As a single parent, we had our hardships and difficulties,but we survived them all.

The other day, while in my garden, I found a rusty bottle cap, It made my day. After Levi passed away, I started to find bottle caps in my garden. Like he was telling me he was still around looking out for his mom. Whenever I try to look back to different times in my life, I am reminded of how far I have come in healing, given much needed grace to give to others, peace of mind. I think about Levi’s note I found- we cannot control our past or future, but we can be happier in the present.

Create a place for healing. It can be in your garden area, in the park,on the couch. I try and find one thing to be thankful for every morning. The birds stat singing at weeeee hours now, I love to lay in bed listening to them chirp like old friends making plans. I am thankful i have good firends like the birds to get together with. I have a good church family and the love and support of family and friends. I have solid foundations to keep me focused and grounded in what it is important.

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Thank You All Who Have Served.

May 30, 2016 at 8:37 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, positive thinking, Single Parent, Survivor) (, , , , , )

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Today, we honor our fallen heroes,we say thank you for your service to keep our Country free. My twin brother was a Marine, I am blessed he came home safe. So many have lost their lives in combat.

The best photo I have ever seen was of an old gentleman at a parade. He was standing in his uniform saluting as the floats went by him. He understood the value of these fine young men and women having been their himself.

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May 18, 2016 at 4:16 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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Today I woke up to sunshine and birds singing. Spring is in the air of course tomorrow promises rain and colder temps., but I am going to enjoy whatever my day brings.

My friend and I are going to have lunch and take a scenic drive in Coeur D Alene. I have lived in the area for the past 35 years. ( no complaints here). I remember living in california as a child driving up to the mountains as a family. Now I live within 20 minutes of the National forest. I get to enjoy the four seasons every year. Yes including snow.

I wanted to touch on overcoming grief. There is so much to be thankful for everyday. Healing takes a life time: some families never recover from the loss of a loved one. I can understand their heartbreak. So many compliment me on a positive outlook on life. I went through the grieving process, heard the well-meaning comments, feeling like I am different now. Both our lives were forever changed in the blink of an eye, with God’s healing touch, letting go of my son, and realizing the death’s of both my husband and my son didn’t mean it was the death of me as well. I can’t change what happened or become bitter about it.

Sometimes getting out and about enjoying an old car show,taking a nature hike, family bike rides, the day at the beach. I like to be a tourist in my own town. I live in a resort area right on Lake Coeur D Alene Idaho. Eating lunch on the only floating golf course is unique.Watching the sail boats and seeing the beauty around me. I truly do live in God’s country as they say.


Grief can only hold you if you let it. Life sometimes throws a curve ball,but we can always throw it back. Enjoy the beauty in each new day.

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Finding Peace In Your Life

May 13, 2016 at 3:29 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Middle age, Poetry, positive thinking, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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It seems life has gotten busier, people are grouchy, more impatient, constantly on cell phones instead of paying attention. No wonder we want to Calgon the remains of the day away.

BBQ season is here, we are whipping our yards into shape to entertain. Kids have games, school year-end is almost here. graduations, baby showers, weddings, whew. Sometimes it is hard to find peace in our busy lives. I hear some say they need to recover from  their weekends. it is amazing how much we cram into a day sometimes.

Summer is almost here. The kids will be out of school, the summer camps, Art on the Green, sand castle competitions, lazy days spent by the lake, water sports, farmers’ markets, friends and family gathering around the fire pit. We have so much to be thankful for. I find the beauty in each new day.

Life has not been the same since my son Levi is no longer with me. July 2007 changed both our lives forever. I find solace my job in health care, I garden some(actually, I am becoming a reformed black thumb gardener). My trees are alive in the back yard. flowers,well… My front yard is the only one on the block with landscaping so it is my duty to try to keep it looking nice.(It would fall on me). Someone planted a Levi tree nine years ago for my son. The tree is now 25 feet tall pine tree.

We often hide our pain with a smile. I am healing and moving forward in my life. I am blessed to have readers of my blog, the love and support of family and friends, time to write, I read somewhere the perfect words. Create a place for healing. This says it all. We cannot pretend a death didn’t happen,we just have to find the grace to deal with the loss and find a place for healing. I cannot thank everyone enough for your ongoing support. I hope I can empower and inspire people to keep moving forward in loss or in our ever busy lives. Life could be like a glass of lemonade. Take time to savor every drop out of life and don’t miss the important things. God Bless you all.



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