I Light A candle In Memory

December 21, 2017 at 7:31 pm (blogging, Creative Non- Fiction, grief, Memoir, Middle age) (, , , )

 

 

I light this candle in honor of all of those who have lost  loved on this season. I know how hard this time of year can be. With last-minute shopping to do, getting ready for the big holiday meal, finding the time to clean your house for guests, hoping you didn’t forget someone was coming after all, it can be a stressful time.

A few years ago, I went to a candle light memorial service in honor of my son Levi who had died in a tragic car accident in 2007. He was only 20. I was scared to go for the first time because I didn’t want to sit alone, fearful the pain would overflow in me during the service. I put on my brave face and warm coat and scarf as it was snowing that evening. I went inside the building and found the most warm reception. I went in to sit down and saw two familiar faces I didn’t know their mother had passed away. I was invited to sit with them. I was glad I had went not only to honor my son, but I had friends to share my time of sorrow with. We were each given a beautiful cream-colored bird ornament to take home.

I will always remember the message the Chaplin had given that evening. I realized you don’t have to celebrate every tradition. If you do not want the big tree this year, choose a smaller one, you don’t have to deck every inch of your home this year, you can be an absentee participant in your many committees, take time for yourself this holiday season it is easy to become overwhelmed and remember, you don’t have to do everything on your own. the holidays are a great time to reconnect with good friends to help out.  Instead of preparing all the meal this year, have a more casual dinner or ask other guests to bring a dish to share. Tensions may be high because of your loss, people do not know what to say to you. Encourage them to share a fond story about your loved one after dinner; If they had a favorite dessert, this is a nice way to celebrate the awesome person you are remembering.

For many this is a hard time of year indeed.  I know it is easy to hibernate and wish christmas to be over. I know I have so many wonderful friends who really love me and care about me.  I went looking at holiday light displays in an upscale neighborhoods beautiful. They community decorates with red-lit trees in the front yard. I even sneaked in a christmas party in one beautiful mansion on the hill. I started buying for the tree of sharing after my son died. This way I could buy a teenager gifts he could enjoy. My mom and I celebrate a quiet christmas. Most of our family moved to florida a few years ago. Mom has a couple of people who visit her several times a week and I have dinner with her so she is not lonely. I think that is the key, don’t isolate yourself because you feel sad. Have a girlfriend over for dinner and your favorite movie. have a family game night where one person chooses the game for that week; keep active and connected. This is a truly a wonderful time of year. Wheather you live in the City or a small town, there are so much to see and do. Many communities hold a Winter festival. I love seeing the ice carvings and seeing old friends bundled up to keep warm on these chilly evenings.

Merry christmas and have an awesome New years.

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I Light A candle In Memory Of My Son Levi

December 18, 2014 at 8:18 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Uncategorized, Writing) (, , , , , )

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Over the years I have heard it said

parents should not bury their children, the children should be the ones who bury the parents. For many of us our lives had taken a different direction. My son Levi died in July 2007 in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. Tonight with honor for my son, I light a candle. Christmas has not been the same without you Levi. I used to watch your little face light up as you opened your presents from Santa Now I buy two gifts for Toys for Tots to bring brightness to another child’s christmas. This time of year can bring so much sadness, it is true, but God gives us the strength and grace to see another day through. Levi left us too soon, but I will always remember the fine young man he had become.

I understand the feeling of not wanting to celebrate the holiday Again this year. Depression is a hard emotion to work through. You may be feeling blue because the grandkids can’t visit this year, or finances are tight this year. I have been there also you keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Soon the holiday ends and a new year will begin.

I usually enjoy  decorating my house in simple Victorian finery, I buy the few gifts for friends and family on the list, enjoy what the holiday may bring. I  put on some Christmas music, put my Victorian village together, and try to stay in the spirit of the season. There is still so much to be thankful for. I love and miss my son so much, but I also have the fond memories to bring a smile to my heart.

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A Skiff Of Snow

December 5, 2014 at 10:26 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Middle age, Uncategorized) (, , , )

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It snowed during the night,

just a skiff mind you, but enough to put me in the holiday spirit. I put on some christmas music,and put the finishing touches on my home. It is easy to stay home,bundled up on the couch on a snowy day instead, a dear friend and I went to lunch. She had just moved back from Ireland. What a treat it was to not only see her again but she helped me put up my Victorian village for me. I love crafty people who can put together a display in minutes.

This time of year can be especially hard for many. Military families are worried for their loved ones, I lost my son in 2007 from a tragic car accident, there are financial strains and maybe pressure to buy the perfect gift. I know it is hard to find time to get together with friends or family, but I hope we are making lasting memories to share for years to come. If you live in the city and are fortunate enough to walk downtown seeing the window displays or taking the family  around the neighborhoods to look at lights(one my favorite holiday traditions) or just trimming the tree with the kids, it is magical time of year. 

I have been asked over the years how I can be so positive after loosing my son. I have so many fond memories of a time not so long ago where my young family would go to the resort and spend the afternoon seeing Santa, looking at the displays picking our favorite one. Levi, my son, always knew the reason we celebrate christmas. he always wanted to hang a stocking up for baby Jesus. my husband was terminally ill from diabetes, but we made the best of the holiday.I beleive time is what you make of it. Being depressed was not going to help me, so I decided to make some memories. I have so many treasured stories yet to tell. Life is what you make it, good or bad circumstances. I still have my mom who I see everyday. I have lived a blessed life and I am ever thankful to have been a wife and mother even if for a little while.

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Remembering My Son Levi

December 12, 2013 at 10:24 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , , )

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Over the years I have heard it said

parents should not bury their children, the children should be the ones who bury the parents. For many of us our lives had taken a different direction. My son Levi died in July 2007 in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. Tonight with honor for my son, I light a candle. Christmas has not been the same without you Levi. I used to watch your little face light up as you opened your presents from Santa Now I buy two gifts for Toys for Tots to bring brightness to another child’s christmas. This time of year can bring so much sadness, it is true, but God gives us the strength and grace to see another day through. Levi left us too soon, but I will always remember the fine young man he had become.

I understand the feeling of not wanting to celebrate the holiday Again this year. Depression is a hard emotion to work through. You may be feeling blue because the grandkids can’t visit this year, or finances are tight this year. I have been there also you keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Soon the holiday ends and a new year will begin.

I usually enjoy  decorating my house in simple Victorian finery, I buy the few gifts for friends and family on the list, enjoy what the holiday may bring. I  put on some Christmas music, put my Victorian village together, and try to stay in the spirit of the season. There is still so much to be thankful for. I love and miss my son so much, but I also have the fond memories to bring a smile to my heart.

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A Different Day

December 27, 2012 at 4:12 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

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26 years ago today my son Levi was born.

Levi brought great joy to my late husband and my life. Levi’s dad died when Levi was four years old. I was left to raise my young son alone. Levi and I endured many hardships and difficulties but we survived them all. I am proud of the fine young man levi had become. 

My son laid my new carpeting in my house for me.  For one, it was a treat to have new carpeting and two to have your son help it. I have turned Levi’s old bedroom into my dressing room. I love to go in and get dressed every morning and put on my pajamas every night. I have such good memories of the son I love and miss  dearly.

I am working on some new stories to submit. One story is for another blog  Publish Memoirs.  I have been invited to be a guest Blogger for Journaling  and Creative writing. I am honored to be invited to participate in both projects. I have recently sent six stories in for Anthologies and a 365 day blessing Book. I am keeping busy in good things God still has for me.

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Merry Christmas Everyone

December 25, 2012 at 7:54 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

                                                                                                                                                         
nativity

I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.

May God keep you in His perfect peace today, may you gather around the dinner table with a grateful heart,The weather outside can be frightful,  may God guide you home safely home tonight. May your day be filled with the love and warmth of family and friends.

 

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A Christmas Memory

December 20, 2012 at 11:13 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

 

 

Levi Degon0037

 

 

 

 

I have just finished watching

 

Christmas episode of a HGTV show “Decorating Cents”. The show treated a special family to a holiday make over for two rooms in the house. A loving and heart-broken dad, two young sons and a family dog named Winnie, lost their mom to cancer 6 months earlier. The show transformed this family’s home into a winter wonderland. I was impressed at how much of the boy’s mom was incorporated into the over all design. My favorite piece was the huge photos of both boys with a snow hat and scarf around the head with just the eyes exposed.

The program brought back a memory of my own. March 2007, a dear friend of mine came over to help me update my bedroom.My friend owned a B&B in Ireland . I told her that I have not updated my bedroom I shared with my husband before he had passed away several years earlier. My dear friend Katherine helped me to transformed my   bedroom  into a B&B bedroom.  friend also helped me to re-decorate my son Levi’s  old room into my dressing room. Levi had already moved out to help his grandma when his grandpa passed away. I appreciate the rooms being freshened up for me. My life was forever changed one sunny summer morning. My son Levi died in a tragic car accident in July 2007.  He was only 20. I love to get dressed in my dressing room. I have so many memories of the son I love and miss dearly. 

 

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Another Sensless tragedy

December 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

 

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My prayers go out to the

many families effected by this senseless shooting. You as a parent, send your children to school believing they are safe. You never think when you go to pick them up, some of the children never left their classroom. How can these parents and children, school officials feel safe again? How can they send their children back to school on Monday?

My son was not murdered by some lunatic with a gun. My son Levi set out with some friends on sunny sunday morning to float the river. By that evening,both our lives were changed forever. Levi was involved in a tragic car accident. Five days and countless prayers later,I made the painful decision to withdraw my son’s life support. There are no words to describe the depth of grief I felt and there are no words to express the anger trying to make sense out this tragedy.

I know the pain and deep sorrow all the families are feeling this morning. There were plans of decorating the tree, not planning a Memorial Service.  So many lives were forever changed in a moment. I can not imagine the terror of not knowing yesterday why my child was not coming out of the building. The country mourns with the families. We as a Nation offer  our prayers of comfort, and will support anyway we can. 

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Memorial candle Light Service

December 13, 2012 at 5:50 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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Tonight I will light a candle

in your memory. I will always remember the fine young man you had become Levi. Our lives were forever changed with the death of your daddy. As a single parent raising my young son alone we endured many hardships and difficulties. Levi and I survived them all.

One sunny sunday morning Levi and some friends set out to float the river by that evening both out lives would again be forever changed. Leviwas involved in a tragic car accident. he was only 20. I am proud of the fine young man Levi had become. I remember his laughter,his mischeivious smile, his sparkle in his eyes, and his generous spirit. 

The night before his accident we put gas in his new car. I am glad I shared my tips with my son that night. I was blessed with one last ride in Levi’s car. We laughed and talked on the way home.what a treasured memory I have been given to always remember.

You will spend Christmas in Heaven again this year. You will have celebrated your 26th birthday this year. I know you look down from heaven and smile upon my life. The greatest comfort I have is knowing I will see you again. I love you son.

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Christmas Traditions

December 7, 2012 at 8:52 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

I remember a time when the house

was filled with laughter, my young son Levi and his grandpa decorating the tree with ornaments and lights. The talking moose and snoring santa not forgotten, each had their place in the living room. Grandma in the kitchen making cookies and planning the holiday meal. Uncle Jeff made his santa appearance while my son was fast asleep. I remember sledding parties on christmas day,all the cousins gathering at my parents home on a cold winter day. 

My family  tradition of visiting relatives on christmas eve. The tradition started when my twin brother and I were children. My parents had the neighbors put gifts under the tree while the family went visiting. On our way home that evening,dad would look at christmas lights. this has always been my favorite part of christmas. I loved to see the beautiful home decorated.

When my husband and I were married and started our family, I kept the tradition alive of visiting friends and light seeing. My husband and I went to the resort to see santa when our son Levi was two-year old. I remember spend the afternoon looking at all the decoration and listening to the Christmas carols. I treasure the memories of these special days.

my life was forever changed with the death of my husband from complications from his diabetes 6 short years after we were married and with the death of my son Levi in July 2007 at age 20. Christmas is quiet now just my mom and I. Dad died in 2002 from his disease. Life can change in a moment. The holidays are hard without my loved ones here to help celebrate,but I have treasured memories of times past when the laughter filled the house and lively conversations filled the dinner table with good cheer.Levi Degon0051

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