The Last Time We Got Gas

July 20, 2016 at 5:41 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , , )

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Nine years ago today I said goodbye to the most important part of my life. my son Levi died in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. My fondest memory and one I am most thankful to God for was the evening before Levi’s accident, I was at my mom’s house having dinner with her and my son. Levi moved out the previous year to help his Grandmother after his Grandpa passed away. Levi was telling us he again was short on cash for his bills. when I was heading home,I sensed from God’s heart to give my son gas money. I went back to mom’s house and shared my tips with Levi. I also asked if we could go put gas in his car together not knowing this was our last evening I would see him. We had fun driving to the gas station. We laughed and joked in his car. When Levi dropped me off at his Grandmas we said I love and goodbye not knowing these would be the last words we would speak to each other. the next day,both our lives were forever changed.

I also did not know until my son was on life support,he was an organ donor. his eyes went to help a six-year-old girl see. She is now 15 years old  and I bet beautiful. Thank you all of you who are organ donors it changes so many lives. Beauty did come from the ashes. God has touched two families lives that day, mine was forever changed in a moment, but another family was given new hope.

Today, I am having dinner with mom, we celebrate with mexican food(Levi’s favorite) I have so many fond memories of the son I raised as a single parent after my husband died from complications of diabetes. Levi and I survived many hardships and difficulties,with the love and support of family and friends, I am moving forward in a brighter future.

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Finding Peace In Your Life

May 13, 2016 at 3:29 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Middle age, Poetry, positive thinking, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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It seems life has gotten busier, people are grouchy, more impatient, constantly on cell phones instead of paying attention. No wonder we want to Calgon the remains of the day away.

BBQ season is here, we are whipping our yards into shape to entertain. Kids have games, school year-end is almost here. graduations, baby showers, weddings, whew. Sometimes it is hard to find peace in our busy lives. I hear some say they need to recover from  their weekends. it is amazing how much we cram into a day sometimes.

Summer is almost here. The kids will be out of school, the summer camps, Art on the Green, sand castle competitions, lazy days spent by the lake, water sports, farmers’ markets, friends and family gathering around the fire pit. We have so much to be thankful for. I find the beauty in each new day.

Life has not been the same since my son Levi is no longer with me. July 2007 changed both our lives forever. I find solace my job in health care, I garden some(actually, I am becoming a reformed black thumb gardener). My trees are alive in the back yard. flowers,well… My front yard is the only one on the block with landscaping so it is my duty to try to keep it looking nice.(It would fall on me). Someone planted a Levi tree nine years ago for my son. The tree is now 25 feet tall pine tree.

We often hide our pain with a smile. I am healing and moving forward in my life. I am blessed to have readers of my blog, the love and support of family and friends, time to write, I read somewhere the perfect words. Create a place for healing. This says it all. We cannot pretend a death didn’t happen,we just have to find the grace to deal with the loss and find a place for healing. I cannot thank everyone enough for your ongoing support. I hope I can empower and inspire people to keep moving forward in loss or in our ever busy lives. Life could be like a glass of lemonade. Take time to savor every drop out of life and don’t miss the important things. God Bless you all.



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Happiness Like Bitterness Is A Choice

May 2, 2016 at 3:25 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking) (, , , , )

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Happiness like bitterness is our choice. it is easy to be happy when life is going our way, but how do we handle life’s disappointments? Do we put all our energies into sulking or do we move forward in the pain?

Life did not come with an instruction manual as we all know or of it did many would throw them out anyway. Some days we can’t wait until the day is over and we can start afresh tomorrow. Funny how unfinished business will still be there. It is hard to be happy all the time, days seem frustrating, babysitter quit 20 minutes before your next shift(been there?) The car decides to break down before payday. It is easy to blow your top. But that won’t fix the problem either even if it might make you feel better.

I try to find one thing every morning to be thankful for. I try to smile to at least five people everyday. I love to hear the birds chirping in the morning. My life changed with the deaths of both my husband and my son. People ask me how I can stay so positive. I have my good days and ones I cry. I remember both my husband and my son are cheering me on and on in Heaven. I know they are proud of me. Life has been an adjustment but I keep moving forward in the good things God still has for me.

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Everyday Peace

April 25, 2016 at 6:50 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking) (, , , )

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Keep what is important, let go of what is not.

Always remember, you are not promised tomorrow.

Making today count.

Connecting with old friends.

Surprising mom and dad at one of their old favorite hang outs.

Having lunch at your child’s school.

A sunny afternoon scenic drive.

Planting a family garden.

Date night with your honey.

After dinner walk around the neighborhood.

Library day.

A comfy nook with a good book.

Waking up appreciating what today has to offer.

Some of us have lost our husbands and or children. With the love and support of family and friends and my close walk with Jesus, I have found daily peace in my life.



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Smell The Flowers Along The Way

April 5, 2016 at 7:06 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , )

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Along life’s journey,

take time to smell the flowers,

remember to smile to those we meet,

happiness begins from within.

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Believe In Yourself

March 29, 2016 at 8:40 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking) (, , , , )

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Believing in myself is so far from me now.

I don’t know how to believe in myself.

My mom believes in me.

I want to make her proud of me,

I am caught up in me and what I want.

Mom works so hard to to try and take care of me.

I watch her struggle, I see what heartache

I have caused her.

I love my mom so much.

She took care of me when my dad died.

Mom never gives up on me.

Sometimes I wonder why she can love me the way she does;

and care for me.

Mom is always there for me no matter what.

Exerpt of Healing in the storms.

I often wondered what my son would add to this poem today if he were here. I feel he would add this.


My mom never gave up on me even in the toughest times.

I could always count on her.

Words cannot express the pain I have caused you mom. I am sorry.

You were the best mom I could have asked God for.

I smile down from heaven and watch you.

You are an inspiration to so many.

God has walked you through some difficult times,

and continues to heal the pain.

Keep writing mom, it is a gift from God.

Love you much Levi.


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Spring is in the Air

March 20, 2016 at 8:37 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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Everyday is a celebration.

From the time we wake up, to the end of our busy day, take time to smell the flowers. Season change in a moment and life as we know can change over night. Our kids are only young for a while then they will move on with their lives.

Some has endured such sorrow and hardships,unimaginable to most; take time everyday and remember to say hello to a stranger or a loved one. we never know when it will be our last time to see them. Forgive often,love much,laugh even more. We have so much to be thankful for in our short lives. make it count.

Welcome Spring and all you have waiting for us to enjoy.

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The Best Is Yet To Come

March 1, 2016 at 9:07 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Poetry, positive thinking) (, , , , )

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We don’t know what tomorrow holds do we?

 Live life to the fullest, dream your dreams, plan your tomorrow, do what is important today.  We only get once chance to leave our mark in life, make it count. To often, we find ourselves busy with daily obligations to remember the littlest pleasures can still be enjoyed. 

Friends are a special gift from God. They have seen us through our best days and we cried on their shoulders in the worst of times. I could not have survived the loss of both my husband and my son if not for the love and support of family and friends. I don’t take anything for granted. 

Life is what you make it; look for the beauty in each new day,appreciate what today has to offer tomorrow has its own troubles. This thing we call life can take on a life of its own if we let it. Take time to enjoy a sunset, dinner with friends, a family hike or walking the dog. 

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