We Will Never Forget

September 11, 2016 at 8:04 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, positive thinking, Survivor) (, , , )

New York City, NY, September 16, 2001 -- FEMA Urban Search and Rescue teams work to clear rubble and search for survivors at the World Trade Center. Photo by Andrea Booher/ FEMA News Photo

New York City, NY, September 16, 2001 — FEMA Urban Search and Rescue teams work to clear rubble and search for survivors at the World Trade Center.
Photo by Andrea Booher/ FEMA News Photo

 

My day started out like any other. I was getting ready to open my daycare on this life changing day. I thought it odd that one by one, the parents called to keep the children home this morning. With the day off, I thought I could run some errands and make the most of it. I drove by my church to and I saw many cars in the parking lot. I wondered what could be going on. I parked my car and went inside the coffee shop and watched with others that day the horror unfolding before our eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

My Pastor is a former police officer in Las Vegas , he was called upon to help with the recover efforts at The World trade center. He helped with the bodies being brought in to the make shift morgue. I can remember when he came back he told the congregation that even if a finger came through the door,the finger was saluted because that is how much respect was given tot he heroes who died that tragic day.

It has taken awhile to feel safe again for many Americans. You did not know could happen next. The World trade Center has rebuilt telling the world America is a great nation that will not fold over a coward act. Continue to pray for this next election and continued grace given by God over this nation we love so much.

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The Last Time We Got Gas

July 20, 2016 at 5:41 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Empty house, family, Family stories, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , , )

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Nine years ago today I said goodbye to the most important part of my life. my son Levi died in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. My fondest memory and one I am most thankful to God for was the evening before Levi’s accident, I was at my mom’s house having dinner with her and my son. Levi moved out the previous year to help his Grandmother after his Grandpa passed away. Levi was telling us he again was short on cash for his bills. when I was heading home,I sensed from God’s heart to give my son gas money. I went back to mom’s house and shared my tips with Levi. I also asked if we could go put gas in his car together not knowing this was our last evening I would see him. We had fun driving to the gas station. We laughed and joked in his car. When Levi dropped me off at his Grandmas we said I love and goodbye not knowing these would be the last words we would speak to each other. the next day,both our lives were forever changed.

I also did not know until my son was on life support,he was an organ donor. his eyes went to help a six-year-old girl see. She is now 15 years old  and I bet beautiful. Thank you all of you who are organ donors it changes so many lives. Beauty did come from the ashes. God has touched two families lives that day, mine was forever changed in a moment, but another family was given new hope.

Today, I am having dinner with mom, we celebrate with mexican food(Levi’s favorite) I have so many fond memories of the son I raised as a single parent after my husband died from complications of diabetes. Levi and I survived many hardships and difficulties,with the love and support of family and friends, I am moving forward in a brighter future.

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Thank You All Who Have Served.

May 30, 2016 at 8:37 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, positive thinking, Single Parent, Survivor) (, , , , , )

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Today, we honor our fallen heroes,we say thank you for your service to keep our Country free. My twin brother was a Marine, I am blessed he came home safe. So many have lost their lives in combat.

The best photo I have ever seen was of an old gentleman at a parade. He was standing in his uniform saluting as the floats went by him. He understood the value of these fine young men and women having been their himself.

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Finding Peace In Your Life

May 13, 2016 at 3:29 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, Poetry, positive thinking, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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It seems life has gotten busier, people are grouchy, more impatient, constantly on cell phones instead of paying attention. No wonder we want to Calgon the remains of the day away.

BBQ season is here, we are whipping our yards into shape to entertain. Kids have games, school year-end is almost here. graduations, baby showers, weddings, whew. Sometimes it is hard to find peace in our busy lives. I hear some say they need to recover from  their weekends. it is amazing how much we cram into a day sometimes.

Summer is almost here. The kids will be out of school, the summer camps, Art on the Green, sand castle competitions, lazy days spent by the lake, water sports, farmers’ markets, friends and family gathering around the fire pit. We have so much to be thankful for. I find the beauty in each new day.

Life has not been the same since my son Levi is no longer with me. July 2007 changed both our lives forever. I find solace my job in health care, I garden some(actually, I am becoming a reformed black thumb gardener). My trees are alive in the back yard. flowers,well… My front yard is the only one on the block with landscaping so it is my duty to try to keep it looking nice.(It would fall on me). Someone planted a Levi tree nine years ago for my son. The tree is now 25 feet tall pine tree.

We often hide our pain with a smile. I am healing and moving forward in my life. I am blessed to have readers of my blog, the love and support of family and friends, time to write, I read somewhere the perfect words. Create a place for healing. This says it all. We cannot pretend a death didn’t happen,we just have to find the grace to deal with the loss and find a place for healing. I cannot thank everyone enough for your ongoing support. I hope I can empower and inspire people to keep moving forward in loss or in our ever busy lives. Life could be like a glass of lemonade. Take time to savor every drop out of life and don’t miss the important things. God Bless you all.

 

 

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Smell The Flowers Along The Way

April 5, 2016 at 7:06 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , )

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Along life’s journey,

take time to smell the flowers,

remember to smile to those we meet,

happiness begins from within.

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March Memoir Madness

March 6, 2016 at 9:15 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Heaven, Memoir, Mothers, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , )

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In honor of March Memoir madness, I am posting a story from my book ‘Healing in the Storms’. The story is about my son Levi who was in a tragic car accident in 2007. My son’s eyes helped a six-year-old child see again. thank you for all the organ donors out there your family is special.

 

I have been in turmoil since friday afternoon,before the doctor and I made the final decision to withdraw life support. The Sight Life coordinator came in to Levi’s room to talk to me. The doctor told me they could only use Levi’s corneas because the rest of his organs were shutting down due to the infection throughout his body. he was in sad shape.

the doctor wanted me to sign the necessary paperwork. I went back to Levi’s room to spend the last few minutes I could with my son.

Something impressed me to go back and talk with the Sight Life coordinator. I told him ” I know you don’t usually say anything to the donor families, but would you tell them my son was 20,died in a car accident, and he would be honored that his corneas were going to help a six-year-old little girl?”

The doctor told me he didn’t talk to the families,but he would tell them what I said. When i was leaving the room, i heard the doctor say” you’re a neat mom.”

I went had to say goodbye to the most important person in my life. I wasn’t ready to let him go yet.

 

Excerpt of Healing in the Storms.

 

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Enjoying Life To The Fullest

October 22, 2015 at 2:38 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, positive thinking) (, , , , )

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We can complain about how hard our lives can become.

Life comes at us hard sometimes, how do we handle the difficult times? We can dream our lives away with the what if’s. I had to learn through very painful life lessons to satisfied where I am. Let me explain. I lost my son in 2007 when he died in a tragic car accident. Both our lives were forever changed in the blink of an eye. I could have become bitter and angry,but instead chose to trust God. Every morning I get up,make coffee get ready to start my day, I am reminded at how much beauty surrounds me. I live in a beautiful place in Idaho, I am surrounded by the love and support of my family and friends. I do have so much to be thankful for.

Rebuilding my life again has taken time. I am healing more everyday and I am thankful for the many memories I have of my late husband and son. As the holiday season approaches,take time to love the one overbearing relative, hug the kids extra tight and tell them how much they are loved. I remember a time not so long ago when my house was alive with good food, great friends and lively conversations. I spend time with good friends and my aging mom now. I say often make lasting memories because you are not guaranteed tomorrow with your loved ones.

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Peace Starts from Within

September 21, 2015 at 9:28 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, Single Parent) (, , , )

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Happiness is not a feeling, it is our choice.

We have no idea what is around the corner. When we feel overwhelmed, we react different from when we feel calmness in our lives. This life we are in is tough no doubt. So many commitments,too many expectations on us,added to our busy home life.We fall into bed exhausted some nights only to do it all over again tomorrow.

Where do we have time to find enjoyment? Do you think to yourself is this all there is? My life feels like it crashing down around me. Some think the glass is half full, while others think it is half empty. Taking time out for one self sometimes seems like a distant dream doesn’t it? I have been there too. Short staffed at work, a tweenager with added attitude, longer hours at work leaves little time to explore who we are again and what are we here for again?

Some families are grieving the loss of a child like I am. everyday can be a struggle to get out of bed and start the new day. I do not have any better attitude than you do, I have made a choice to look for the best in each new day. No matter how frustrated I am,I know it is only temporary. Sometimes I know, you do the best you can today and some feel it wasn’t enough. I find my strength, my courage and inspiration for today in knowing I am good enough. I have a strong faith in God who has walked me through some of the darkest days of my life-like He has for many of you. So many have forgotten what is like to cast you cares on Him because we think we are not heard or who cares about me and my problems.

When I lost my son eight years ago, my life was forever changed over night. I had to learn how to live again and life not only day-to-day life,but also live my life to the fullest potential I can. I had to realize the deaths of both my husband and my son, did not mean my life had ended also. Peace is not always easy to find in our lives. I choose not to become bitter and angry, I choose to have a positive attitude even though I may be screaming inside with frustration of the day. But tomorrow is a new day and I choose to enjoy the precious day I have been given to encourage, strengthen and empower those around me. I too have to watch myself when i am overwhelmed and not be spiteful.

Life is just too precious to not be grateful for everything we have and enjoy everyday. Hug you kids extra tight tonight, tell them how much you love them,how proud you are of them and you are glad they are in your family. I have so many wonderful memories as a wife and mom. I am blessed to have been a wife and mother even if for a little while. Thank you for supporting my blog.

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September 16, 2015 at 3:19 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Mothers, Poetry, Single Parent) (, , , )

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We never know what tomorrow may bring.

Live today with great expectations.

Enjoy the beauty around us.

Like the petals on a rose, they can slip away unexpectedly.

Hug your kids extra tight tonight.

Tell them how much you love them,

How proud you are of them.

Take an interest in their interests.

Loosing our loved ones is devastating.

The devastating pain.

Healing is slow, but it comes everyday.

Some parents never really recover after a loss.

Let’s rally around them, encourage them.

The most important thing you can do is listen.

We have so many stories we still want to share.

We feel shut out.

Listen to our stories and share your lives as well.

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Remembering My Incredible Son

July 20, 2015 at 1:47 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Heaven, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Middle age, Mothers, Poetry, Single Parent, Sons, Uncategorized) (, , , )

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Eight years ago you set out to float the river one sunny sunday morning with some friends,by that evening,both our lives were forever changed. There are no words Levi to describe the depth of grief I felt when I received the news you were involved in a tragic car accident. Five days and countless prayers later, God stood beside me as the machines were turned off.  With the love and support of family and friends, I have been on a long road of putting my life back together again.

You brought me joy, you were my world, and I am proud of the fine young man you became. Today, I rest in the comfort of God,who has walked me through this heartache no parent should endure. I have so many precious memories of your funny sayings, your infectious laugh, the sparkle in your eyes,and your love of life. you had many plans Levi,but now you smile down from heaven cheering us on and on and on.

I always celebrate you on this day with nachos,your favorite meal. I miss setting at the kitchen table sharing the meal.

Today is a different day ,but instead of feeling sorrow, I am thankful I could be Levi’s mother, even if for a little while. I love you Levi and I will see you soon.

Love mom.

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