The Empty Nest Syndrom

May 22, 2014 at 8:37 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

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I love this image of the empty nest syndrome.

First, let me clarify something. Being promoted to status of the empty nest is not a bad thing. It means you raised your children the best you could, teaching them the skills they will need to out on their own cooking,laundry, A BUDGET, just to name a few. no over due  movies at the video store, hot water on demand, left overs, no 3 am pizza delivery when you have to up at 6 am. for work, no more loud music, or ‘mom, where’s my____.’  Never a dull moment while raising kids.

I wasn’t thinking about my son moving out until the last year he lived at home. As a single parent I had a few challenges with my son. I was a young widowed mother caring for my young son alone. There were many hardships and difficulties but Levi and I survived them all. I am proud of the fine young man he had become. Levi moved out at age 19 to help his Grandma after his Grandpa had passed away. His grandma kept him honest. The doors locked at 10 pm. It was funny because Levi’s friends would call his grandma at 9:59 and tell her he is on his way home please don’t lock the doors. It is a different feeling when you have dinner with your mom and son at her house now. I always brought tacos home on Tuesdays for dinner. Over dinner, we shared about how the day went and our plans for tomorrow. 

Getting through the fears and lonely feelings are normal. It is an adjustment for all involved. You feel like the kids are gone, now what? I understand. Many parents start a second career, many travel to dream locations, others take a night course. I wrote and published my first book, and I blog often. I have a rewarding career in healthcare as well as care for my aging mother.My life is full. As for my son Levi, he died in a tragic car accident in 2007 at the age of 20. Even though my life had been forever changed, I have the love and support of family and friends who help me keep moving forward in the good things God still has for me. After Levi moved out, I turned his old bedroom into my dressing room I love to get dressed in the morning and put on pajamas at night. Everyone has an empty nest story to tell. I would love to read some of your stories.

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Turn Clocks back Tomorrow Night!!!

November 2, 2013 at 2:56 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

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A Christmas Memory

December 20, 2012 at 11:13 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

 

 

Levi Degon0037

 

 

 

 

I have just finished watching

 

Christmas episode of a HGTV show “Decorating Cents”. The show treated a special family to a holiday make over for two rooms in the house. A loving and heart-broken dad, two young sons and a family dog named Winnie, lost their mom to cancer 6 months earlier. The show transformed this family’s home into a winter wonderland. I was impressed at how much of the boy’s mom was incorporated into the over all design. My favorite piece was the huge photos of both boys with a snow hat and scarf around the head with just the eyes exposed.

The program brought back a memory of my own. March 2007, a dear friend of mine came over to help me update my bedroom.My friend owned a B&B in Ireland . I told her that I have not updated my bedroom I shared with my husband before he had passed away several years earlier. My dear friend Katherine helped me to transformed my   bedroom  into a B&B bedroom.  friend also helped me to re-decorate my son Levi’s  old room into my dressing room. Levi had already moved out to help his grandma when his grandpa passed away. I appreciate the rooms being freshened up for me. My life was forever changed one sunny summer morning. My son Levi died in a tragic car accident in July 2007.  He was only 20. I love to get dressed in my dressing room. I have so many memories of the son I love and miss dearly. 

 

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I Could have Only Imagined

October 28, 2012 at 11:19 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

I could only imagine.

When other spouses went through after losing the most important person in their life. we never expect it to happen to us. We think this ideal life will keep on forever. That is why you are not prepared when an unexpected death happens. My husband died from complications from diabetes 6 years after we married. There are no words to express the depth of grief I felt that day Jerry died. One evening we put our son to bed, and we watched a movie. When we kissed and said I love you in bed, I had no way of knowing my life would forever change the next morning. Jerry suffered a grand moll seizure during the night. The next morning, I took my young son to our neighbors after calling the paramedics. The ambulance transported Jerry to the hospital. I remember a police officer driving me to the hospital. I appreciated his support. When I arrived at the Emergency room, the doctor had a grim prognosis. Jerry died one hour later.

There are no words to describe the depth of grief you feel after such a loss. You wonder how you can survive such a loss, you wonder what is going to happen now? How are you going to tell your young son daddy isn’t coming home from the hospital?  I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and  I couldn’t stop crying.  Christmas and my son Levi’s birthday were a few days away. I didn’t feel like celebrating the holiday, but I knew I had to for Levi. Before Jerry died, he bought Levi and I gifts. The weirdest thing was, he bought me two sweat pant outfits. He told my mom, he wanted to make sure I stayed warm that winter. Levi’s grandparents and I celebrated the holiday and Levi’s birthday. I survived the festivities, but I missed my husband so much.

It is has been 22 years since Jerry died.  As a single parent, I had many difficulties and hardships. I became the sole provider for my family. With God’s guidance, I raised Levi from childhood through his teens-no easy feat. People often ask me why I am still single. Levi was always my first priority. People treat you different when you have a child from a previous relationship. I was looking out for my son’s best interest.

We never know what life has in store. I never thought I would say goodbye to my husband so soon after we married. In writing my stories about my  husband and son, God is bringing back long forgotten memories. We cannot change the past, we can only move forward to the good things our future hold. I could not  imagine my life would be forever changed in a moment. This has been a long road from heartbreak, to finding hope,healing, and happiness again in my life. Life is good indeed. Please like.

 

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My Husband’s Kind Heart

October 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

 

I have so many fond memories of my late husband Jerry. Here is one of my favorite stories I would like to share:

When my husband Jerry and I were engaged to be married, Jerry would drop me off at work and pick me up after my shift. We both owned a car, but I wanted to spend more time with him. We would talk over wedding plans.

I grew up around my grandma Leigh .She was a big influence on my life. My brother and I would often visit her and my aunt when we were in high school. She was a beautiful lady. When I told grandma about Jerry, and our engagement, she wanted to meet him. When he met her, she told him she had heard so much about him. Grandma fell in love with Jerry.

When she was hospitalized, Jerry would visit her while I was at work. When her dinner tray was brought in, Jerry would go down to the cafeteria and eat, then go back and visit with grandma until visiting hours were over. One night, my grandma offered to order Jerry a dinner tray so he could eat with her. Jerry would still order his dinner at the cafeteria, but brought it to my grandma’s room and ate with her. Jerry was very fond of my grandma.  Jerry didn’t see his grandparents very often because they live in another state.                    

Jerry and I were busy planning our wedding. My grandma told me she didn’t think she would be attending our wedding. She said she was ready to go home to Heaven. I told her “I will have to postpone the wedding until you can come then” My grandma was released from the hospital two days later. Jerry and I were married in a beautiful garden wedding on September 15,1984. Grandma sat in the front row. What a wonderful memory I will always have of my husband’s kind heart.

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Trading Heartbreak For happiness

September 16, 2012 at 2:12 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

 

Today would have been my 28 year anniversary

with my husband, the love of my life, Jerry. Jerry died from complications from his diabetes just 6 short years after we married. we both thought we would grow old together, imaging a life as proud grandparents to our son Levi’s children. As it so happened, my life took another direction.

I found myself left with the awesome responsibility of my son alone. As a single parent I had many hardships and difficulties, but Levi and I survived his childhood into his teens-no easy feat. On a sunday morning July 2007, Levi set out with some friends to float the river and by that evening, my life was once again changed. Levi died that day in a car accident,he was only 20. There are no words to encompass the depth of grief I felt. My healing continues daily and I have found new purpose for my life. I come to realize the deaths of my husband and my son,did not mean my life had ended as well. God is a loving God who has taken good care of me these past five years. I look forward to what He still has for my life.

Every year I commemorate the anniversary of my husband and I with something that brings me joy. This year I joined some close friends for a scenic drive to enjoy the changing of the seasons. The warmth of the sun, the blue sky, some good conversation I find myself wrapped in God’s gaze with the beauty that surrounds me. life is good indeed!

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December 15th Book signing

December 29, 2011 at 3:08 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

The Book signing at the Library was dismal at best. Only about four people showed up at all and two of the visitors were to support a couple of the authors at the event. The authors were in good spirits and we all went to each others tables and talked about the books and our future writings we have going on. it was surprising since The Idaho Writer’s League was sponsoring the Holiday Book Fair. as part of the program , the authors all took turns pitching about their books. I read a poem that my son had written and I read from my book. I had an enjoyable time with some of the other authors and we all got a sugar high. I look forward to a book signing when a few people will show up.(snow was no excuse).

I hope that everyone had a good Christmas. I went to some friend’s homes during Christmas eve and Christmas Day. Christmas eve, some friends came to my mom’s house after church and had dinner and opened some gifts. Christmas morning, mom has a tradition of making rice pudding. So we had our coffee and breakfast. Later, I went to some more friend’s home for dinner. I had a good few days.

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