Letters From heaven

February 25, 2015 at 10:12 pm (COMFORT AND JOY, Creative Non- Fiction, Empty house, family, Family stories, Heaven, Life beyond parenting, Middle age, Mothers, Poetry, Single Parent) (, , , , , )

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I was sitting here at my computer thinking of a new story idea.

I glanced over at my son Levi’s photo taken eight years ago. So much has changed my son passed away in a tragic car accident at age 20. My life was forever changed in so many ways that day. I went from looking forward to my son visiting me( once he moved out, I had to track him down) to thoughts of seeing him again one day in heaven.

I can almost imagine one last conversation we could have. I love you mom, you were the best mother I could have ever wanted. You took good care of my dad and I until my dad died one day. I didn’t really understand why he didn’t come home that morning. I remember how sad you were. you tried to explain to me that daddy was really sick and Jesus took him home to be with him. I remember you threw me my birthday party when I turned four(ten days after daddy died). I cannot imagine how hard it was for you trying to take care of me and work. I know I could be a brat( nooo not Levi). I watched you struggle in working,providing for me, keeping the house warm, and making sure I was home on time for dinner- we always ate at the dinner table together because we were a family. I cannot tell you how proud I am of you mom. When I died, you did not let anger and depression rule your life. You trusted Jesus to get you through the dark days like you did when we lost my dad. I always remember you started everyday with coffee and Jesus. You were always writing in your journal. I often wanted to take a peak,but was afraid most of it was about me. I always thought to myself that if I had kids one day, I hope I could be half the dad that my mom was to me. You are pretty special mom.  keep smiling mom and I will see you really soon.

Love always,

Levi

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Would You Live your Life Over Again?

January 6, 2015 at 4:36 am (COMFORT AND JOY, Creative Non- Fiction, Family stories, Memoir, Mothers, Single Parent, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

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Someone once asked me if I could live my life over again would I.

I answered him yes I would.He was surprised at my answer because he had known me for several years. He knew of the many struggles I have had in my life. I also reminded my dear friend that I have had God watching over me and I trust in Him. I remember he told me I was a brave person because if I had lived my life over, my husband and son would still be here. I told my friend God has walked me through some of the darkest days of my life and He would stand beside me again and again . I appreciate the question though. Many people cannot believe I live with such a strong belief in God, after loosing my son in a tragic car accident in 2007, I chose to trust God not become bitter and angry at him.

Being a survivor has its struggles. I miss the bright spot in my life. Levi was the best gift god could have given to me. I am proud of the fine young man he had become. I also feel blessed to have been a wife and mother even if for a little while. My life had changed in a moment, but by the love and support of my family and friends, I living my life to the fullest. I did not know then I would become a writer, or a published author. I write because I enjoy sharing with you the many happy memories I had with my young family. My life has forever changed, but for the better. I know I will see my husband and son again soon. I live each day with thankfulness in my heart. There is so much beauty around us from falling snow to listening to the children as they sled down the hill again. I love hearing the families as they are walking the dog (or the dog pulling the kids in the sled).

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball you didn’t see coming. I heard it said you can’t change your circumstances but you can change your attitude in your circumstances. What a true statement. I look forward to a wonderful 2015. I thank you so much for your support and visiting my blog.

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Squeezing Out Every Drop Of Life

August 6, 2014 at 8:25 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

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The road ahead is paved with uncertainty.

Not knowing where this journey will take us.

Some walk in and out of our lives,leaving a gentle

reminder of how precious life is,to savor each moment.

A reminder of how short life is,for every season must end.

Looking ahead for a bright tomorrow,we forget today’s failures.

 

 

 

 

 

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Turning Lemons Into Lemonade

May 15, 2014 at 6:40 pm (COMFORT AND JOY, positive thinking, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , )

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My dad had been sick ever since I could remember.

As a girl, I helped care for my dad while mom worked. This taught me responsibility as well as compassion. As a result, my dream job would have been as a paramedic. There was a height and weight restriction for the job, I was devastated to learn I did not meet the requirements. After caring for my dad,I decided I wanted to pursue a career in health care. I find my job very rewarding.

When my husband and I married, we thought we would grow old together. We dreamed of buying our first home,having children,envisioned a life traveling when we retired someday. We imagined being proud grandparents to our son Levi’s children. My life had taken a different direction.

My husband died in 1990 from complications from diabetes. Single parenthood presented many challenges. I was mom and dad both, sole provider of my family of two, and learning my income was cut in half. I learned creative ways to cut costs to make ends meet. Levi and I had many hardships and difficulties,but we survived them all. I raised him from childhood through his teens-no easy feat.

My life was forever changed again in July 2007 when my son set out on sunny sunday morning to float the river with his friends. By that evening, Levi was fighting for his life. he was involved in a tragic car accident. After 5 days and countless prayers later,God stood with me as the machines were turned off. With the love a support of family and fiends, I am moving forward in my life. 

We never know what tomorrow holds, we face difficult challenges everyday. I learned how to turn the lemons in my life into lemonade. I had to realize the deaths of both my husband and my son did not mean it was the death of me as well. 

Life is short,enjoy the beauty of each new day,hug your kids extra tight,let them know how much you love them, you are proud of them, take the time to go on a bike ride,hiking,fishing,making a back yard fort and camp for the night. They become lasing and treasured memories. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Different Take On Things

March 27, 2014 at 8:02 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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I was watching a re-run of a favorite show.

It seems in the household of the Jim Anderson’s, someone is always complaining. Sound familiar? One of Jim’s colleges offered him a weekend at his lake cabin. At dinner that evening,dad proposed the idea to the family.(Keep in mind they had ham for dinner again!) At first the family said no, there were too many things to be done. Betty needs her own phone, Bud needs a power saw, Mom needs a new stove and sink. Jim talks the family into driving up just for the day to see the place. Well- the cabin was falling down after Betty falls into the lake because the boat was not tied properly. Swiss family Anderson they become.Dad finds some onions and potatoes for dinner, they clean up the cabin best they can and settle in for what seems a long night. the next morning they are rescued and back to civilization again. BUT, they have a new perspective on the old house, they no longer feel the need to move into a larger home, Betty does not really need her own phone anymore and Bud does not need another power saw. Mom is just fine with her old stove and oven and they can all take a nice shower tonight. I love this episode because sometimes I need the reminder that my life is perfect the way it is now. The Anderson’s got a taste of what roughing it really was. the family even sat down to a ham dinner again the next night- and enjoyed every bite.

Sometimes I feel like I have too much on my plate. It is easy to feel overwhelmed. I have to think up creative outlets for the times I am struggling. Writing has always been an outlet for me. I am winging this story as I am going along. I know spring is around the corner(which one I don’t know,but I hear it is coming) smile. Our lives has become so fast paced, we don’t hardly have enough time to breath before going to the next project. No wonder we fall into bed exhausted. I need to take time and unwind, relax with a cup of tea on occasion. I am blessed I have my writing as a way to escape and remember the good times in my life. I found out through personal tragedies life can forever change in a moment, but we can always see the beauty around us God has given to us. Even a snowy day! So the next time life comes at you hard, just remember all you do have, the stress will leave soon. In this great country of ours, we have so much to be thankful for. Make the most of everyday you have. Hug the kids extra tight tonight and cheer them on in their games, they will be grown before you know it. 

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Have Happy And Safe New year’s Eve Everyone

January 1, 2014 at 6:25 am (COMFORT AND JOY, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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I would like to wish all my readers a safe and happy New years.

So many speculate about what the new year will bring and worry what tomorrow will bring.Many are worried there won’t be health care coverage, others worry about their job for next year. Many struggle with not enough food to eat or having heat for their homes tonight. Even with so many concerns there is so much to be thankful for. We will get through tomorrow, there will be a dial tone,and health care will be figured out eventually.

 As we get ready to ring in the new year, let us be filled with anticipation of what it will bring. Get ready, the new year is coming in like a lion. May God comfort all who mourn this evening, grace and peace be to you and may His face shine upon you in 2014.

Thank you for reading and supporting my blog. The new year brings hope,new beginnings and new stories of finding happiness again. God Bless.

 

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Publishing Your First Book

October 18, 2013 at 9:42 pm (COMFORT AND JOY) (, , , , )

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Three years ago I had my first book published.

 It has been san amazing adventure from the concept of my book, writing the book, and finally seeing it published. The first time you see your first box of books on your doorstep is exciting. The realization sets in-you are an author. Deciding to write my manuscript took some time. It was not untill after the deaths of both my husband and my son did friends and family suggest I write my story. I am glad I listened  because God had blessed this project above my wildest dreams. When people ask me how many copies I have sold or how much money I have made so far, I tell that is not important to me. When I found out the Hospice staff had all read my book and recommend it to their clients, it doesn’t get any better than this. I did not write my first book to sell a million copies or get rich, I wanted to help families who have suffered some of the loss I had and encourage them through the stories that life does move forward and the pain will lessen. 

I have had friends tell me they thought they knew me. After reading the book they now tell me they know me on a deeper level. Some of the stories were easy to write, others more painful. I have been asked what was the hardest story to write? Writing about my son isn’t easy,  I write to help keep his memory alive. My life had changed in a moment, I was a wife and mother living in a lively house filled with friends and family.One day it all changed. Life keeps us moving forward not only in healing but in the good things God still has for us. I find it is the small things in life that are worthwhile. I take time to smell the roses in this hectic life we live. Life is good indeed!

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Thank You To all Who Served In The Armed Forces

May 27, 2013 at 5:01 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

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We remember our men and women who serve our country today. We  honor our fallen hero’s and those who serve today with a parade and a celebration. We never forget the freedoms we as a nation enjoy everyday because of the sacrifices made. Some parents are celebrating the safe return of their son or daughter, some parents are waiting for their son and daughters to return, some parents today are mourning the loss of their loved ones.

Some parents today are estranged from their child and would like nothing more than to hear their voice today, some parents like I have lost their son or daughters to a tragic accident-they also was taken too soon. Today is filled with many emotions,we will celebrate with a lawn party, honor our veteran’s with a parade, catch up with old friends take the time to visit with one our older veteran’s and listen to the stories they have to tell. We can learn so much today if we take the time to listen and really understand what we celebrate today. Many have emotional scares they would like to forget, many bear the physical scares of war, many who have served our country come home to no jobs, many say our great nation is falling, THEN LET’S TAKE HER BACK!!

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Happiness Comes From Within

April 24, 2013 at 9:53 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

 

 

I remember life growing up on our ranch.

I loved having the animals, but my brother and I soon learned how much work there was in caring for your animals. You rose early in the morning to feed,water,and clean the many animals pens.If you had a lamb you were entering into the fair, every morning and evening after your animal finished eating, you walked that animal for one mile. On our ranch we had a circular driveway I forget how many times around the driveway counted as the mile. A couple of weeks before the fair, you ran your lamb around the driveway for the mile. The reason is simple-if you the seller are trying to get top dollar out of your ( not wanting to really sell your beloved pet) lamb,the buyer would not pay much for a flabby lamb. My brother and learned early, if you put the effort into the animal now, it will pay off later. 

I appreciate the chores and the caring I had for my lamb, and horse growing up.My brother and I always had a horse show, or a demonstration day for our rabbits or lambs that kept us busy. Let’s not ever forget getting your homework done in between times. My brother and I learned a good work ethic. There was a joke in my family unless you were dying, you went to school. There is something to be said I think(now) of a good old-fashioned up bringing. we did not have all the materialistic gadgets to occupy our time. we were to busy riding our horses, caring for our rabbits and sheep and cows and chasing off the snakes and skunks and deer and oh dear how much fun we had growing up. Life was simple yes, but we had everything we needed including discipline,work ethic, time management instead of wasting time. 

How sad to me that just twenty or thirty years have gone by and today teens have no idea what respect is anymore. I am not picking on the teens but if I talked to my parents or grandparents the way some teens do, I would not have sat down for a week. You said please and thank you because you were grateful there was food on the table plus it shows respect. We did not ignore and adult if we were spoken to. We did not just keep playing our game of our phone or keep listening to our iPad if we were asked a question. It is almost a sad thought that the good old days really are gone for good. When you had company over for dinner, you played a game or swim in your pool. Afterwards,you had desert. Today, you are lucky a family can have a sit down meal together and discuss the days events. The face of our generation is sure changing and what is unimaginable to me is to think about what is going to become of the next generation of kids. If families don’t have time for dinner now before jetting out the door to dad’s game,what are we teaching our kids on how to raise our grandchildren?thumbnailCACS6RH0

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Where Is Our Great Nation heading?

April 18, 2013 at 1:51 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

 

 

 

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I was stunned to hear the news.

Not yet another  senseless tragedy. I could not believe  what my eyes were seeing. A bomb going off at The Boston Marathon.  When will we feel a sense of security again? maybe not ever I am afraid. It is sad that a marathon in Boston was the latest tragedy. It is getting to the point where you don’t want to go to the store, send your children to school or let them play outside. When will this craziness stop? If this can happen in Boston, I cannot imagine what will happen in the next few months with city fun runs and kids sports kicking off soon. 

People used to say they would not travel to another country, there is too much violence… Well, I think pretty soon the same people will be saying they won’t travel to this city in America because there is too much violence in it. I think folks will reconsider where they travel for vacations this year. Unfortunately, I think this level of violence is only going to increase. At least authorities have a suspect , although no arrests have been made.

I am saddened for our children. There has been such a fear instilled into them. Parents are afraid to send their children to school, teachers are afraid to teach the kids for fear of a gun or knife being brought into school. What has happened  to our great country that we are dealing with this kind of  tragedies more frequently?  Summer vacation used to be something a family looked forward to, now there isn’t anywhere I care to visit as a tourist. Getting scary out there.

I don’t know about you, but I feel we as a nation-

We should have the right to feel safe in our community.

We should have the right for our children to feel safe while at school.

A teacher should have the right to feel safe while teaching your kids at school.

No child should go hungry tonight.

No parent or animal should feel hungry tonight.

We should feel safe to attend a movie with our family.

We should feel safe walking down our streets.

 

 

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