May 18, 2016 at 4:16 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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Today I woke up to sunshine and birds singing. Spring is in the air of course tomorrow promises rain and colder temps., but I am going to enjoy whatever my day brings.

My friend and I are going to have lunch and take a scenic drive in Coeur D Alene. I have lived in the area for the past 35 years. ( no complaints here). I remember living in california as a child driving up to the mountains as a family. Now I live within 20 minutes of the National forest. I get to enjoy the four seasons every year. Yes including snow.

I wanted to touch on overcoming grief. There is so much to be thankful for everyday. Healing takes a life time: some families never recover from the loss of a loved one. I can understand their heartbreak. So many compliment me on a positive outlook on life. I went through the grieving process, heard the well-meaning comments, feeling like I am different now. Both our lives were forever changed in the blink of an eye, with God’s healing touch, letting go of my son, and realizing the death’s of both my husband and my son didn’t mean it was the death of me as well. I can’t change what happened or become bitter about it.

Sometimes getting out and about enjoying an old car show,taking a nature hike, family bike rides, the day at the beach. I like to be a tourist in my own town. I live in a resort area right on Lake Coeur D Alene Idaho. Eating lunch on the only floating golf course is unique.Watching the sail boats and seeing the beauty around me. I truly do live in God’s country as they say.


Grief can only hold you if you let it. Life sometimes throws a curve ball,but we can always throw it back. Enjoy the beauty in each new day.


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Happy Easter Everyone

April 5, 2015 at 1:39 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Middle age, Poetry, Single Parent) (, , , )


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Happy New Year Everyone.

January 1, 2015 at 6:23 pm (Memoir, Single Parent, Sons, Survivor) (, , , , )

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May this year bring happiness, healing for our nation, learning to live together, and know we are a Blessed Nation. The brand new year brings brand new tomorrows. Let’s live each new day with the promise of what tomorrow may bring. Some circumstances are out of our control, but we can stand strong in knowing we do not walk alone.

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December 30, 2014 at 9:27 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Poetry, Uncategorized) (, , , )



Life gets hard sometimes. I hope this banner puts a smile on your faces today. Life is beautiful. no matter the circumstance. i can say this with knowing my son Levi is smiling down from heaven on me and I keep moving forward everyday with joy in my heart even in the tough times. I am thankful for the love and support of my family and friends.

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I Light A candle In Memory Of My Son Levi

December 18, 2014 at 8:18 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

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Over the years I have heard it said

parents should not bury their children, the children should be the ones who bury the parents. For many of us our lives had taken a different direction. My son Levi died in July 2007 in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. Tonight with honor for my son, I light a candle. Christmas has not been the same without you Levi. I used to watch your little face light up as you opened your presents from Santa Now I buy two gifts for Toys for Tots to bring brightness to another child’s christmas. This time of year can bring so much sadness, it is true, but God gives us the strength and grace to see another day through. Levi left us too soon, but I will always remember the fine young man he had become.

I understand the feeling of not wanting to celebrate the holiday Again this year. Depression is a hard emotion to work through. You may be feeling blue because the grandkids can’t visit this year, or finances are tight this year. I have been there also you keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Soon the holiday ends and a new year will begin.

I usually enjoy  decorating my house in simple Victorian finery, I buy the few gifts for friends and family on the list, enjoy what the holiday may bring. I  put on some Christmas music, put my Victorian village together, and try to stay in the spirit of the season. There is still so much to be thankful for. I love and miss my son so much, but I also have the fond memories to bring a smile to my heart.

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Thanksgiving Traditions

November 23, 2014 at 12:39 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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Thanksgiving is a time to share what you are most thankful for. Some rise early in wee hours of the morning to begin cooking the meal, while others have a family style pot luck. Some enjoy a football game in the front yard or the park, while others watch their favorite teams play and root and or fight over who has the best team. some decide to pop in a favorite holiday movie while others retire in the formal living room for desert and coffee. 

In all our traditions there are so many who will not or can not enjoy the holidays. So many families pray for the safe return of son and daughters fighting for our freedom. Thank you for keeping us safe so we can enjoy the holiday. Many other families are grieving the loss of a loved on this year and feel someone is missing from the table. They make the most of the day. Others enjoy the day thankful for the many the food banks and churches that graciously donated their time to feed those less fortunate.

There is so much to be thankful for this holiday season. The love of family and friends, being able to come home this year, comfy clothing that expands, a good book,a warm fire, gathering around for a board game, taking a walk,what ever your tradition is, be safe, enjoy the company of loved ones for you never know when it will be the last time you see them. This will be my seventh Thanksgiving without my son Levi. he died in a tragic car accident in 2007. he was only 20. I have fond thanksgiving pasts and treasured memoies,but yes, someone is missing from outr table again this year.  treasure those you love and hold dear.

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A Beautiful Place To Live

June 28, 2014 at 1:01 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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I live in one of the most beautiful States.

People refer to North Idaho as a hidden gem. We are surrounded by lakes, the best fishing, recreational boating,  hiking trails and summer festivals. There is so much to do in the many small towns in the surrounding areas. Farmer’s markets, concerts in the park, old car shows, fishing derby’s just to name a few. 

I find my friend’s comments amusing when I tell them I am doing a staycation this summer. I am asked ‘why are you staying here and not flying somewhere to get away?’  One look at the area, and you will see why go anywhere else. Family reunions, graduations, a family wedding are good excuses to leave for a few days. I can understand not wanting to anger your son or daughter getting married in another state. 

I have heard Coeur d’ Alene was voted the one of the best places to retire in Sunset magazine. We have a slower pace of life here, it is nice to go to the bank and be called by name, all the grocery stores know you and even help take your groceries to the car for you if you are unable. That is small town service. The tire store will come pick  you up and drop you back off at home to work on the car. Our small town has grown from 3,000 people to just under 27,000 more people and we still have been able to maintain the still small town feeling. 

I like to take a drive on my days off from work. One of my favorites is in Hayden Lake. Not only are you surrounded by a beautiful forest, you often see deer along the road. they are not afraid of humans. as you are driving along one of the winding streets, a deer will leisurely stroll across the street in front of you while home owners are busy working on the yard. If you ever get close to a deer, you see how beautiful these animals are( I am not talking about hunting season right this moment, I am describing watching them eat in peace) I know many hunters like them in the fall. It is treated to be able to see them in the wild and bring the babies out to eat. On a drive, you may see wild turkeys eating in someones front yard, Quail walking across the road calling to the babies to hurry up and get across. 

Every year,Idaho hosts the Blooms day race, The Iron Man competition is this weekend.  Athletes begin the day with a two- loop 2.4, swim in Lake Coeur d’Alene and the day ends with a challenging two-loop 24 mile bike ride. Another challenging event going on this weekend is Hoopfest. It has been called the biggest 3-on 3 basketball tournament on Earth with a quarter million spectators and players. There will be over seven thousand players this year. Wow. 

Yes, I live in a beautiful hidden gem called North Idaho. This was the perfect place to raise a family. I see so many families going for an evening bike ride or an older couple hand in hand walking one of the many neighborhoods. Kids walking (more like being drug by an overly excited ) dog bigger than they are.summer time is the time for the annual lemonade stands, running through the sprinklers in the front yard, shooting hoops, playing catch, hopscotch, playing in the lake, and of course, the July 4th fireworks at the lake. I like to call myself a tourist in my town because as you explore your town, you discover so much more to see and do than you thought. Quaint shops to explore, good food and great friends meeting to take in the sights. Go and be a tourist in your own town and take in the many old car shows and great music the night has to offer. it is shaping up to be a great summer indeed.

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The Power Of Finishing The Home Owner To Do List

June 11, 2014 at 1:13 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )


I love this cartoon image. 

 My son Levi would have thought of doing the very same thing. Plus, how much fun to swing and paint all at the same time. I have found out over the years home ownership has some draw backs. Instead of a property manager dealing with plumbing issues, repainting the exterior , lawn care  and any other repairs.Oh, the joy of owning a home. If you are blessed with family and friends who can come over in a snap when your washer is flooding the house while you were out is an added bonus to home ownership. But in reality, most of us have friends and family who too have a life, so you are on your own. Don’t get me wrong, I love owning my home, my husband and I bought it together and planned on living out our golden years here. My life had taken a different direction. I became a young widowed mother raising her young son alone. 

In so many respects, I have enjoyed my neighborhood. All the kids grew up together they went swimming at the bay in the summer, rode their bikes to McDonald’s for lunch, taking the dogs for a walk, you could hear the kids called for dinner literally. It is a great neighborhood. We weren’t just neighbors, we are friends, if you need a hand, they are ready to help. Now, most of the block are empty nesters. A couple of the grown children, used to cut my lawn, as I have worked long hours I don’t like doing yard work.( They were not hard to bribe). My yard has always been kept nice.   A nice family moved in next door a few years ago. It has been nice hearing the kids play outside on sunny evenings Brings back memories of  yesterday. Funny where does time go?

Some home owners put off the to do list for years.( Pointing to myself.) it is easy to be too busy to put the fence up. repaint the house, prune the trees. There is a saying ‘the power of doing’. And the added blessing of someone to help finally get those projects done so you can have a nice break this year. What, after you get finished with your to do list, there isn’t money to actually go somewhere. Plus, you put all your time and effort into the improvements, you can’t just up a vacation somewhere else.  So many are becoming a tourist in their town. I live in North Idaho, with the  beautiful lakes, trees, parks, fishing,boating, and great places to eat. We have summer concerts in the park, Silverwood  Theme park to enjoy, and so many festivals all summer long. What a glorious place to live.

So get your to do list finished, put up the backyard pool, start grilling, playing volleyball with the kids and enjoy summer. it is finally here. The kids are young only for a while, pretty soon the are off to college and you wonder where the time has gone. I think I can hear the summer concert starting now in the park. It has been fun living in a place with so much to keep me busy. It is a nice place to call home and enjoy life as an empty nester. I know some parents have trouble adjusting, but now is the time to do some traveling, catch up with old friends, see the children, plan your block party. have fun before you know it fall will be here again. 

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Happy Mother’s Day

May 10, 2014 at 8:57 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )


Happy Mother’s day,

the thought has fond memories attached to it. Your little angel picking flowers just for you and running over to give you his or her special gift. Oh, and they are so proud of what was given. I was watching a commercial that concerned me. The beautiful bouquet bore her to yawn. It seems we have to out do each mother’s day with a bigger or better gift every year. I understand the commercials are designed to give ideas for the scrambling dad who has probably been married to his sweetheart for the last twenty years. Still has a hard time finding that perfect gift. When mom probably just wished all the kids to be around her on her special day for an afternoon of laughter, hugs, and  not having to do the dishes. ( I know, some people really do live in the dark ages). 

Some families struggle on any holiday; some children are over seas protecting our great country, some are estranged from the family, some parents are struggling with a run away child, others like myself would give anything for a ‘hi mom’ from their child who has passed away. So many circumstances make up the family unit these days. Being a mom is the most precious gift God could have given us. My best memory of mother’s day was a few years ago, my mom hosted a party for mu aunts and cousins. I had to work as usual, and was afraid I had missed all the fun because the time was getting late. To my surprise, everyone was waiting on me to come and enjoy the rest of the evening. Someone started passing around a small bouquet of flowers to all the moms and taking their picture. My creative son Levi, took the flowers from my hand and put them in his mouth- I have my arm around him laughing. Picture snapped. It is proudly hanging in my office as a lasting memory of my son’s mischievous side. 

For many of us we struggle with moms day. we make the best of it, I spend time with my widowed mother now. The family has since moved away, so we have a quiet dinner together. Life can change forever in a moment, take time to hug your kids extra tight tonight, have fun buying that special gift for tomorrow, let mom feel like a queen for the day tomorrow. Above all else, take time to smell how sweet the roses can really be in life. We do have so much to thankful for everyday. Even in our darkest hour. it doesn’t matter what gift we get no matter how big or small, I wish I could go for one more ride in my son’s new car tomorrow.

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Happy Birthday Dad

May 2, 2014 at 4:03 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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Today would have been my dad’s, Grandpa John as he was affectionately called birthday. Dad was always tossing my twin brother and I around. One fond photo I have is mom and dad sitting holding my brother and I. dad looked like he was saying”what am I going to do with these twins?”

I remember living on a ranch as a child, mom and dad became rabbit leaders when my brother and I were in 4-H club.  Our living room was large enough to showcase a pool table. All the kids gathered around the pool table to learn how to show our rabbits when were getting ready for the fair. Dad helped the kids build rabbit feeders and nests for our bunnies.

I remember when the family moved to Idaho. Dad brought his prized ’46 Willie’s jeep in tow. Mom and dad hosted sledding parties in the winter. Family and friends were pulled by dad’s jeep. When we could not feel fingers or toes, then we went in for hot cocoa. After thawing out, we went back out for more snow fun. My dad loved his old jeep. You could see him tooling around the neighborhood grinning from ear to ear.

When I married and had our son , everyone started calling my dad Grandpa John. My mom was Grandma John. My son was dad’s fishing buddy. Dad took Levi fishing at nine months old. It was cute Levi sitting in his stroller, Grandpa helping him reel in his catch. Now, my dad and my son are fishing together in heaven. For all the cherished memories, all the sled rides, jeep rides, hunting trips, happy Birthday dad. 

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