I Light A candle In Memory Of My Son Levi

December 18, 2014 at 8:18 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Uncategorized, Writing) (, , , , , )

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Over the years I have heard it said

parents should not bury their children, the children should be the ones who bury the parents. For many of us our lives had taken a different direction. My son Levi died in July 2007 in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. Tonight with honor for my son, I light a candle. Christmas has not been the same without you Levi. I used to watch your little face light up as you opened your presents from Santa Now I buy two gifts for Toys for Tots to bring brightness to another child’s christmas. This time of year can bring so much sadness, it is true, but God gives us the strength and grace to see another day through. Levi left us too soon, but I will always remember the fine young man he had become.

I understand the feeling of not wanting to celebrate the holiday Again this year. Depression is a hard emotion to work through. You may be feeling blue because the grandkids can’t visit this year, or finances are tight this year. I have been there also you keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Soon the holiday ends and a new year will begin.

I usually enjoy  decorating my house in simple Victorian finery, I buy the few gifts for friends and family on the list, enjoy what the holiday may bring. I  put on some Christmas music, put my Victorian village together, and try to stay in the spirit of the season. There is still so much to be thankful for. I love and miss my son so much, but I also have the fond memories to bring a smile to my heart.

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A Magical time Of Year

November 30, 2014 at 10:53 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir) (, , )

Goodbye-November-Hello-December

 

 

The most wonderful time of the year,

I took a drive downtown to see my city all lit up in its christmas finery. Main street looks beautiful minus the snow. There is something about this time of year that brings back so many precious memories for me. My parents always hosted the best parties. Dad would tow everyone around the neighborhood in his 1946 Willies’ jeep, when we couldn’t feel fingers or toes anymore, we would warm up with hot cocoa and cookies before heading back out for more sledding fun. My son made snow forts in the yard, Spending hours perfecting his creation. A weekend made in heaven for him.

Friends gathering for the annual tree cutting ceremony in the woods. Kids running through the forest helping find the perfect one.For those of us fortunate enough to live in God’s country and can go up and find your tree.The day spent at the local tree farm is a great family outing as well. The chili dinner afterwards, spending an evening sharing stories of christmas past. So many hit the slopes for snowboarding and skiing. I am afraid I would break my neck if I tried, so I  stay in the lodge cheering you on as you skied down the hill. It does not take much to capture the special moments of our lives.

Life is so hectic, sometimes it is difficult to plan an evening. The memories we create today, may be carried on by our children. My family would drive around Reseda looking at the beautiful home decorated.When I started my family, I carried on same tradition. I loved spending time with my family,we would vote on our favorite house. After my husband’s death, my young son and I would spend the day at the resort, looking at the displays and having hot cocoa before heading home. What a treasured memory my dad started way back when. Now, I gather with friends for a nice dinner and drive around looking at the lights wishing my son was here to share the special moment once again. I ponder if he would have had kids, carrying on the tradition.

 

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The Perfect Solution To The Empty Nest Syndrome.

September 3, 2014 at 6:21 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Middle age, Uncategorized) (, , , )

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How Many Of These Do You Remember?

August 13, 2014 at 6:47 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, Uncategorized) (, , )

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It takes a licking, and keeps on ticking(Timex)

Calgon,take me away(Calgon)

You know you are soaking in it(Palmolive  dish washing liquid)

Melts in your mouth,not in your hand(M&M’S)

A certs encounter(Certs)

Fill it to the rim with brim.

Slinky

There’s always room for jello.

I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.(Alka seltzer)

Please don’t squeeze the Charmin(said by Mr. Whipple).

he likes it…hey Mikey(Life cereal)

Have it your way(Burger King)

Good to the last drop(Maxwell coffee)

Share the moment…share life(Kodak)

Double your pleasure,double your fun(Double mint gum)

You like it…it likes you(7 Up)

 

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You Only Live Once.

July 26, 2014 at 9:27 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

cflowers0495

 

The thought of you, makes me smile.

Remembering the crazy things we used to do.

A gentle reminder how fragile life is,

how precious our time here is.

Everyday, we are given a golden opportunity.

The opportunity to create lasting memories.

 

 

 

 

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June Is Here Already.

June 1, 2014 at 11:09 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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May has bid farewell, June is here.

 

Where is time flying? Wasn’t it just New year’s Eve? Now school is letting out, graduation, grilling is in full swing, and so is allergy season. Let’s not forget the bees. They too build their homes on Your property. They seek out to build fancy mansions in least expecting locations. I have extra special fun with these pests, I wear the skin so soft. The bees fly up to me and immediately fly the opposite direction.  Did you know bees can also survive under water in your fountain? I watched one fly into the water to cool off one day swimming around thinking it would drown. NO sirree, after his swim,the refreshed insect climbed to the top and dried off before flying away. No I didn’t have a tiny towel to offer him plus I don’t like  insects hanging around with me. I have friends of my own. Aah the lazy days of summer are here.

I don’t know about you, but every year my lawn and I have our struggles. I water often, and my grass likes to stay a dry shade of brownish green shall we say. Very aggravating to me. Considering my neighbor is a lawn care specialist. He waters not so often, I baby my yard and guess what? His looks better than mine. I told him is was not fair. He doesn’t understand it either. I am seriously planning on artificial turf. I will the envy of the block. I am glad I don’t live in a neighborhood where there is no serious competition for yard dominance. Most of the block would opt out anyway. They work five days a week and like to relax the weekends. I will say I have good neighbors- we live on  close knit block. We live near the river- you hear the jet skis and boats on summer afternoons.

I have friends who live on an exclusive block, all the homes are beautifully kept. Thousands are spent on the lawn, flowers and fertilizer.When I need yard inspiration, drive around the neighborhood. Then come home to reality. All kidding aside, I have blessed with my home. My husband and I purchased it together before his passed away.  I was pregnant with our son when we bought our forever home. A few years ago, some friends helped my up the paint inside and out. I have a nice kept home with brownish-green grass.

Do you want your home to always look it’s best? Helpful hint that really works. Pretend your long-lost best friend is coming to visit next week. It is amazing the results you can achieve in just a weekend. You finish project you put off since the second child was born and never got around to. It is amazing what a couple well chosen accessories can do to take the home from bland to grand.

For some the kids are gone, so the lawn is their pride and joy. They have the yards to prove it. Some couples purchase expensive beautiful motor homes to explore the County, some join a travel club and following one another in the sometimes unique trailers. what a great way to meet new friends. Have fun trying to contact them. Some couples live on exclusive golf courses and start a new hobby, while other couples plan the next get-together. the second half of life is fun and exciting with new horizons to explore.People ask me how I plan on spending my summer, The same, working, caring for my mom and of course my passion writing. I love my job in Health care, I am mending my relationship with my mom and enjoying the benefits of writing. As I heal from the deaths of both my husband and son, I remember long forgotten memories. some stories are easy to write, others more painful, the grief lessens with time and God gave my the desires of my heart. I had been  both a wife and mother even if for a little while. God has walked me through some of the darkest and painful days of my life and He has taught me to look forward to tomorrow and good thing in store for me. thank you all for supporting my blog and the kind comments. Happy June.

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Remembering My Son Levi

December 12, 2013 at 10:24 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , , )

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Over the years I have heard it said

parents should not bury their children, the children should be the ones who bury the parents. For many of us our lives had taken a different direction. My son Levi died in July 2007 in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. Tonight with honor for my son, I light a candle. Christmas has not been the same without you Levi. I used to watch your little face light up as you opened your presents from Santa Now I buy two gifts for Toys for Tots to bring brightness to another child’s christmas. This time of year can bring so much sadness, it is true, but God gives us the strength and grace to see another day through. Levi left us too soon, but I will always remember the fine young man he had become.

I understand the feeling of not wanting to celebrate the holiday Again this year. Depression is a hard emotion to work through. You may be feeling blue because the grandkids can’t visit this year, or finances are tight this year. I have been there also you keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Soon the holiday ends and a new year will begin.

I usually enjoy  decorating my house in simple Victorian finery, I buy the few gifts for friends and family on the list, enjoy what the holiday may bring. I  put on some Christmas music, put my Victorian village together, and try to stay in the spirit of the season. There is still so much to be thankful for. I love and miss my son so much, but I also have the fond memories to bring a smile to my heart.

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Publishmemoirs featuring excerpt from Healing in the Storms

January 27, 2013 at 10:50 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

SUNP0113Publishmemoirs has featured an excerpt from my book, “Healing in the Storms”. It is exciting to be featured on publishmemoirs blog. you can find it at http://publishmemoir.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/memoir-salon-session-12/

 

 

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I Wish I Were…

November 1, 2012 at 6:06 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

 

 

I wish I were touring The Queen Mary again.

 

While attending college, I remember planning an outing with my two good friends. We were trying to decide where to go for the day. We really didn’t want to go to an amusement park or the beach . My boyfriend at the time and I had already toured The Queen Mary  a couple of times . We told Robin about our great adventure we had touring the ship. I remember Robin asking if we wanted to take the tour again. Jay and I wanted Robin to see this massive ship in person,she would not believe her eyes. Jay played hooky from work,while Robin and I ditched our next day college classes. We set out early the next morning; Robin made biscuit cinnamon rolls to take along.  My friends and I had lively conversation on the way to our destination. Then we saw the ship. Robin marveled at the Queen Mary’s size. We waited in line for the tour to begin.The funny thing was, Jay and I had already tour the ship few times before.The tour guide recognized us and allowed us to go on a self-guided tour. (Robin was impressed). Walking down the  guest room halls my friend’s and I remarked about the elegant craftsmanship of elegant wood carvings. Robin and I tried to imagine spending a day out to sea as ladies of leisure traveling abroad. We envisioned ourselves eating a meal in the dinning room, or shopping the quaint shops in the ship’s lobby. Maybe  after dinner, taking a stroll on the deck. Such a fun imagination we had.The reality of eating lunch in the restaurant not the elegant dinning room, couldn’t damper our spirit of fun we had that day. All good things must come to an end. We eventually had to go home and prepare for college classes or work the next day.

This morning while deciding on a story, I remembered touring The Queen Mary with my friends. Over the years, my friend robin and I would remissness about our adventure. I had just watched a program on TV about the ship supposedly being haunted. We didn’t see any ghosts,but we could sense something of a supernatural presence  in the ship. I have heard the swimming pool area was said to be haunted. We couldn’t tour the bottom decks. Work was being done in various part of the ship.My good friends and I toured this magnificent ocean liner thirty years ago. Our lives took separate paths. Sometimes it is fun to reflect on fond memories in our lives. What a good idea my friend’s and I had one sunny day way back then. Life is good indeed!

 

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The Empty Nest

October 26, 2012 at 7:34 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

 

 

I sometimes think  about where my life is today. 

I listen to my friends talk about When their kids moved out , they found themselves planning out the rest of their lives. There were times due to a hardship, the kids had to move back in alone,or move in with their children. I can’t say I was glad to be rid of my son, but he sure could be disruptive. I can remember six years ago,before my son moved out, the door bell ringing at 3 a.m. for pizza. let’s not forget the phone calls and text messages all hours of the night. No wonder Levi was not ready for school the next morning. I can remember when Levi’s grandma and Levi and I would go out to dinner. Levi wore his old holy and greasy clothes from work. I used to get so angry. I asked him one evening to at least change his shirt for me.’Fine’.(you should see how he dressed to see friends the next day). I can remember friends telling me to pick my battles. Single parenthood presented many challenges. I raised Levi from childhood through his teens-no easy feat.

Six years ago, Levi moved out to help his grandma after his grandpa died. It is a different feeling not having to rush home and check on your son. You don’t have to worry about where they are. You could come and go as you please. But the flip side of this reality was Levi didn’t come over and visit anymore. I had to go to my neighbor’s house and see my son or go to his grandmas. I had dreams of when Levi moved out, heard the cool stories of parents and children sitting around the dining room table reminiscing about what mom and dad didn’t know about. I so missed out.

My life as an empty nester has been bitter-sweet. My son set off floating the river one sunny sunday morning in July 2007,by that night both our lives were forever changed. Levi died in a car accident. He was only 20. There are no words to describe the grief I felt that day. I have the fond memory of putting gas into Levi’s car the night before. We laughed and joked one last time. When Levi dropped me off,and we said our goodbye and I love you, we didn’t know these were last words we would speak to each other.

I am grateful for the many memories I have as a wife. My husband died 6 short years after we married due to complications rom diabetes. Yes, life has handed me some lemons, but when Christ is ruler over your life, everyday you heal more, you come to realize the deaths of both my husband and my son, didn’t mean my death as well. God is using me and my stories for this blog. We don’t know what life holds around the corner, but we can hold on to the treasured memories we have to keep moving forward wherever we are in our lives.

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