Smell The Flowers Along The Way

April 5, 2016 at 7:06 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking, Single Parent) (, , , , )

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Along life’s journey,

take time to smell the flowers,

remember to smile to those we meet,

happiness begins from within.

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July 15, 2015 at 8:47 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, Single Parent, Uncategorized) (, , , )

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This is such a healing sentiment;

I lost my son in 2007 when after spending the day floating the river with friends, he was involved in a tragic traffic accident. There are no words to describe the depth of grief I felt that day.

Eight years later, I am healing more everyday and I look forward to the beauty of each new day. I make the most of my day, every season has its spender. I never had enjoyed summer until recently. As a single mother, I always had to find last-minute child care and worry what is my son doing now? I had to work to support us. But like everything in life, this small window in time passed and Levi and I survived many difficulties and hardships along the way.

I could not have imagined how much my life would forever changed in the blink of an eye. The biggest blessing God gave me was my son and I put gas in his new car the night before his accident. I will forever cherish the memories of laughing and joking with my son in his prized possession. God touches us through his heart if we only take time to listen.Levi moved in with my mom after dad died to help take care of his grandma. After dinner one night,at my mom’s house, I was going home and God put it on my heart yo give Levi the gas money. What a special last time to be together.

Make the most out of what summer has to offer with your loved ones and hug them extra tight tonight and tell them how much they mean to you. I am so glad I have lasting good memories of the fine young man Levi had become.

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March 1, 2015 at 9:36 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Poetry, Single Parent) (, , , )

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‘The good old days

A time when there were no cell phones, i-pads, e-mails to answer.

Since there were no distractions at the dinner table, families talked about their day.

As a kid,your friends were outside,you went and looked for them.

Camping as a family on the weekends-grandpa taught you how to clean the fish you caught.

Grandma and your aunts taught you the now dying art of crocheting and knitting.

A nice sunday drive, then and ice cream cone treat.

Family game nights-friends welcome.

We felt safe to ride our bikes around the neighborhood.

Pepsi-cola was sold in a bottle.

Out of respect for our parents, we came home on time.

When flying a kite was a fun sunday afternoon with friends.

A day spent at the beach.

Swimming parties in the backyard.

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December 30, 2014 at 9:27 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Poetry, Uncategorized) (, , , )

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Life gets hard sometimes. I hope this banner puts a smile on your faces today. Life is beautiful. no matter the circumstance. i can say this with knowing my son Levi is smiling down from heaven on me and I keep moving forward everyday with joy in my heart even in the tough times. I am thankful for the love and support of my family and friends.

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Some Of The Best Compliments Come from Kids

October 6, 2014 at 8:02 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Middle age, Writer's writing, Writing) (, , )

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I remember the best conversation I had with my son.

When my son was in grade school, he invited me to see his school play. I took the afternoon off and sat down next to a friend of mine. When Levi saw me, he smiled at me. I didn’t realize Levi had a small singing part in the play. What a great voice(I think the other children sang well also). That evening Levi and I went out for dinner and to the toy store at the mall.

One morning, Levi came out of his bedroom and made my day. He told me” mom, you always come to my plays, take me to the spaghetti feed and book fair at school. When we go somewhere, you always look nice. you have makeup, wear nice clothes not  sweats with holes in them.You don;t wear big sweatshirts with paint on it. Your hair looks nice not in a greasy ponytail like some mothers.” What a nice feeling. As a single parent to my young son, I tried to keep myself up because it is important to me. That day, I realized our kids watch us more than we think they do. 

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Single Parenting Isn’t For Wimps

May 30, 2014 at 3:54 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

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Ever felt like this mother tiger?

I think we all have at one time or another. What we don’t see in the picture, is the other cubs running for cover because they are next! Single parenting isn’t for wimps, it takes a strong, creative, often times humorous approach. Often times the significant other turned out being  not so significant or there is a divorce or death. I know from my experience, you are judged when people hear you are a single parent. There is an automatic assumption you are divorced-that was not true in my case.

My husband died six short years after we were married. He died from complications from his disease. I was left to raise my young son alone. I remember feeling so lost, I was now mother, father, and sole provider of my family of two. I was fortunate my husband and I shared the household duties together. He didn’t pay the bills and I care for the house sort of thing. We agreed early in our marriage we are a couple, and we take care of the house together. When our son turned three, he pushed his toy lawn mower a safe distance behind his dad’s, They both owned had all the proper lawn care equipment. Levi had his plastic rake,wheel barrow, hoe and shovel. One mother never know when the boys are going to plant a flower or two for you.

I have to be honest, my husband was not macho. Meaning he helped with the house work. I came home early from work one evening. My husband was busy vacuuming the house with our son right behind him with his toy vacuum. Levi was so cute trying  keep up with his dad. Then Levi put away his vacuum in the closet. Do I dare say, he owned his own broom and mop also? he did indeed. I have fond memories of when my household was alive. My life was forever changed when my husband suffered a fatal seizure. There are no words to describe the grief I felt that day. Single parenthood presented many challenges and difficulties, but Levi and I survived them all. I raised him from childhood through his teens-no easy feat. there were days I wanted to laugh,cry and string him up by his toes-Sometimes all on the same day. I would not trade the gift I had been given as a wife and mother even if for a little while.

My life was forever changed again in July 2007 when Levi set off with some friends to float the river. By that evening, Levi was involved in a fatal traffic accident. He was only 20. The night before the accident, Levi and I put gas in his new car. I am forever thankful for God’s wisdom to give my son gas money. We laughed and joked in the car. On the way home when Levi thanked me for the money, we said I love you, we had no idea these would be the last words spoken to each other.  I am so proud of the fine young man Levi had become. Single parenthood indeed is not for wimps. We don’t know what tomorrow may bring, but we can train our children up the way they should go today.

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Scenic Drives

September 6, 2013 at 9:07 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

 

 

 

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I just returned from one of

 

the many scenic drives North Idaho has to offer. It is amazing where you can escape in a short amount of time. I went with a friend to try out his new car. We started to go to Spirit Lake, but took the shortcut through Athol Idaho on our way back home again. We  remembered a few long forgotten lakes and towns we can rediscover  for our next mini day-trip. I love this time of year, it isn’t quite fall yet,but yet it is cool enough to be pleasant.  

In my local area, many small bedroom communities are giving their towns a facelift. One such town is in Wallace. It started its humble beginnings as a mining town complete with a famous brothel. There used to be a two-story log cabin turned restaurant called The Snake Pit. The owner used to give the guided tour upstairs to where the magic happened once upon a time in the old mining north. I love the rich history the towns of Wallace, Murray, Mullen has to offer. I am telling you all of this because unless you become a tourist in your own town, you may not know of some well know interesting facts your city or town has to offer. We have several lakes to enjoy within a fifty mile radius with great fishing and plenty of wildlife to see. 

There is getting to a chill in the morning and evening air. I enjoy the changing of the seasons. I know so many tell me to bite my tongue on wanting fall’s arrival, but I can’t help it. I love to decorate for the fall-there are so many warm colors and candles and wreaths to cozy up the home with. I live in a ranch style home with plenty of Victorian charm. My friends teasingly joke with me about putting my plants to bed in September when they are still planting the fall mum and marigolds. I tell them I am so busy with working grave yard shifts and caring for my mom, I don’t have really have or take the time to really garden. And besides I do not repeat do not have a green thumb anyway. my yard will never be on a Garden Tour,I am fine with that. I have a dear friend who could really be on a garden tour,but she works in the yard up to nine hours in one day. I do not relish the thought. You really have to like to dig in dirt to have a great yard. I bought the shirt that reads ” I don’t dig in the dirt”. (smirk) I have a nice yard and home that I am proud of  by a quaint bay. I often go down and sit on the highest rock and watch the boats and jet skiiers go by. Such a life I lead in a small city. Life is good indeed!

take the time to hug your child extra tight tonight, tell them how proud you are they graduated a grade up from last year, tell them how much you love them and your are so glad they are your sons and daughters. we only have them for a little while. Some go off to college one day, some get married and start their new lives, and some like my son set off one sunny sunday morning with some friends to float the river nad by that night, both our lives were forever changed. Make memories and take many pictures,  my last picture I have of my son,was taken 6 years ago.

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What Has Become Of This Generation?

February 25, 2013 at 4:01 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

I have just read a great post.

The post talked about how rude people are getting these days. You can see people getting angry because the line is too long when the poor clerk is just trying to get you through as fast as she can. It seems like no one smiles anymore They seem like they are consumed in their obligations of the day and think only about that. I also have notice everyone seems like they are in a hurry. How many folks have you seen sail through the yellow or red light lately?  

When I see someone I haven’t talked to in a while,  I have noticed if I Talk to them, they seem antsy and want to leave the conversation as soon as they can. How sad we can’t just enjoy each others company and catch up. People are in such a hurry anymore. They are always connected to a cell phone in the ear and don’t seem like they see you anymore. You can walk down the grocery store isles and hear grumbling. They didn’t have your brand of corn flakes,or why don’t they have more variety? I hear that a lot. There are only 150 brands of cereal to choose from.

I am the most disappointed with the teens today. Their attitudes are disgraceful. I don’t think manners are taught at home anymore. More and more families are eating in front of the tube instead of at the table. I read an article in a popular magazine; the story told about how much teens wanted their parents to ask about the day and eat dinner at the table like a real family. They just wanted someone to take an interest in them and their day. And I don’t know how many young children I have seen walking at dark down the busy street alone. It is scary to see a young child riding his bike alone  past dark. I guess a curfew has gone out the window as well. It is sad to see this generation and how disrespectful it has become. The language they use could peel the paint right off the house. I don’t think a teen knows how to communicate other than a cell anymore. When I was growing up, my family would talk for hours over desert and coffee. You would visit a relative for dinner or go for a ride on sunday afternoon. People are far too busy anymore.

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Finding Happiness Again

January 21, 2013 at 3:35 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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When my husband and I married, we thought we would grow old together, we envisioned ourselves raising children, talked about traveling when we retired, and imagined a life as proud grandparents someday. We were blessed with a miracle baby. Because of my husband’s disease, we had a ten percent chance of ever conceiving a child. God had other plans for our lives. Levi was the best gift God could have given us. My life was forever changed 6 short years after we married. My husband’s life was cut short due to complications from his diabetes.

 

Suddenly I was left with the awesome responsibility of raising my young son alone. Single parenthood presented many hardships and difficulties. Levi and I survived them all.My life was once again forever changed. I lost Levi in a tragic car accident in July 2007. He was only 20. I am healing more everyday. If I had not had my life changing moments, I would not be the person I am today. I have a new purpose for my life. It has been a long, painful journey. I find strength in my morning devotions, my writing and many friendships. I am able to reach out to others with words of encouragement. As I heal, I remember things I have long forgotten. When I drive by Levi’s old grade school, I imagined seeing him playing on the playground, I had a lunch date with Levi in the school cafeteria (we would look over the school menu on the couch and plan when I would come), when I see the snow-covered ground reminds me when Levi spent hours outside making his snow tunnels and forts. I have cherished memories of a son I love and miss dearly.

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Happiness Is A Choice

January 16, 2013 at 4:20 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

 

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I was having a rotten day.

What made the day worse was my equally bad attitude. I was reading through some of the FB posts and saw this little simple arrow piercing through the heart sentence. ‘You cannot control what happens to you but you can control your attitude towards what happens  to you’. This simple, well put sentence was all I needed to read. My attitude towards the situation was not helping me to move forward towards a solution to my conflict. If you think about it we are humorous when we get mad. We have so many things we will do if… How do you know if will come? 

I have found happiness is a choice we have to make. We may find ourselves in an unexpected circumstance and I know it is hard to be happy sometimes. So many have asked me how could I keep living with the positive attitude I have when I lost both my husband and my son. I have a strong faith and a strong family and friends support. I have two young adults who live next door that have continued to call me mom. (They still do not know how much it means to be called mom again). I have had fiends ask me if I am mad at God because I never was given the opportunity to be a grandma or a mother-in-law. My answer is no I am not angry because God has been so faithful to me. I had the awesome responsibility to raise my young son alone after my husband died from complications from his diabetes. Levi and I had many difficulties and hardships but we survived them all.   I am proud of the fine young man Levi, my son had become. This accomplishment was bitter-sweet for me. My life was again forever changed when my son died in a tragic car accident in July 2007. He was only 20. I could be a lemon taster, but where would this get me? I realized the deaths of both my husband and my son, did not mean the death of me as well. I still have a lot of life yet to live.



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