Living In The Present, Not The Past

November 13, 2014 at 9:44 pm (Creative Non- Fiction) (, , , , , , )



This picture brings back so many fond memories.

This is one of the last pictures taken of my husband. It was Easter morning, my son Levi who was three, was surprised with a bubble pipe in his basket. He asked his daddy to blow bubbles for him. I love the small karate outfit Jerry found for Levi to wear. My husband was a karate instructor for many years. Life lesson: take advantage of every opportunity to take the stupid,crazy,funny pictures and video. you never know when you will need to fall back on them for comfort,a smile, or a more pleasant time in your lives.

This is the season they say for the attitude of gratitude in our lives. Everyday we should be living with this attitude. There are so many things to be thankful for. Even though in our jobs we may feel burn out, we have one, we have food on the table, a bed to sleep, our bills are paid, we have heat in the house. Many are planning the big Thanksgiving feast this moment,or looking forward to the big game afterwards. Some just look forward to Aunt Martha’s famous pumpkin pie this year. Than goodness to the many food banks and volunteers who help make everyone a holiday special.

Somehow, I see changes in people’s attitudes. They seem impatient, preoccupied,on the cell phones when at the check out lines, everyone seems in a hurry these days. There is no doubt, this world is changing, but it would be nice to get back to a simpler time in our lives when the pace was slower, no one was in a hurry to be some where. I wonder if those day are gone forever.

In this time of giving thanks, I would like to remember the fond memories of my loved ones who will not help celebrate this thanksgiving. For the service men and women who are keeping us safe to enjoy the holidays and the freedoms we have taken for granted they will always be here. Life can change in a moment. Take time to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, how much you care about them and love them. I wake up every morning knowing my son Levi is proud of his mom. That is worth waking up knowing alone,plus my morning coffee and many creamers to explore. I had to realize the deaths of both my husband and son, did not mean the death of me as well. I life was forever changed yes, but I am living my dreams, finding happiness again, living my life to the fullest. How about you?

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A Rememberance Of My Son

July 20, 2013 at 9:37 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , )

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Six years ago today my son Levi

set out with some friends to float the river. By that evening both our lives were changed forever. Levi was involved in a tragic traffic accident. After five days and countless prayers later, I made the painful decision to withdraw his life support. There are no words to describe my feelings today. Some would say to let go of Levi. I had to realize people mean well in their intentions or advice, but they do not understand the struggles. People do not mean to be hurtful in the comments. Sometimes I know they do not know what to say.

everyone handles grief different. No one really ever gets over the loss The pain just eases over the years. Some friends of mine and my mom and I are going to dinner and celebrate Levi tonight. I work graveyard shift so I will keep my mind busy tonight as well.

People remember your laughter, your mischievous smile the twinkle in your eyes and your appetite for life.  If anyone has a story to share about my son,please share I would love to hear the memories you have of Levi.

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Sledding Parties and Snow Forts

November 9, 2012 at 8:00 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )


I woke up to a snowy morning.


As I watched the snow fall,  enjoying my first cup of coffee, I thought about all the sledding parties my parents hosted the first snow fall. My dad owned a 1946 Willies jeep. He pulled our sleds around the neighborhood trying not to run you into a parked car turning a corner. My son Levi had his first sled ride at one year old.He loved sledding until he took a glove off and touched the snow, then he cried. When family and friends felt frozen, we went inside where my mom had cocoa waiting. One time,My husband and I were riding in one sled, my dad went around a corner to fast and we did hit a parked car. We both fell off the sled laughing so hard we couldn’t get up. what a wonderful way to spend a chilly afternoon playing in the snow.

I remember the snow forts my son made in the front yard. Levi would spend hours outside bundled up creating his snowy masterpiece. The next door neighbor would come over and help Levi to build the fort. The fort connected the two yards. I invited the neighbor to join Levi for dinner. Early the next morning, they were back outside finishing their fort.

After school Levi would grab his sled and head across the street to a small snow-covered hill. He and his friends would play all afternoon taking turns sledding down the hill. The moms called the kids to come in at dinner. Then it was time for homework ,a bath and bed. I cherish the memories of my son and watching him grow into the fine young man he had become.

Sometimes our live take a different direction that we envisioned.  My son was lost to a tragic car accident 5 years ago. I am thankful I have so many good memories to write stories about his life and the friends and family who help encourage me to keep moving forward in my life.

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