Happiness Like Bitterness Is A Choice

May 2, 2016 at 3:25 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Life beyond parenting, Memoir, Middle age, positive thinking) (, , , , )

happiness wordle


Happiness like bitterness is our choice. it is easy to be happy when life is going our way, but how do we handle life’s disappointments? Do we put all our energies into sulking or do we move forward in the pain?

Life did not come with an instruction manual as we all know or of it did many would throw them out anyway. Some days we can’t wait until the day is over and we can start afresh tomorrow. Funny how unfinished business will still be there. It is hard to be happy all the time, days seem frustrating, babysitter quit 20 minutes before your next shift(been there?) The car decides to break down before payday. It is easy to blow your top. But that won’t fix the problem either even if it might make you feel better.

I try to find one thing every morning to be thankful for. I try to smile to at least five people everyday. I love to hear the birds chirping in the morning. My life changed with the deaths of both my husband and my son. People ask me how I can stay so positive. I have my good days and ones I cry. I remember both my husband and my son are cheering me on and on in Heaven. I know they are proud of me. Life has been an adjustment but I keep moving forward in the good things God still has for me.


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Random Acts Of Kindness?

February 21, 2016 at 9:29 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, positive thinking, Uncategorized) (, , , )



The littlest thing can bring about big impact in someones lives. A smile can go along way when a person feels discouraged, a simple hug,or listening to a friend. We get so busy sometimes in our daily lives that it is easy to forget to say thank you when a co-worker went the extra mile to make your job easier that day. I hope we don’t loose our appreciation for one another in the hustle and bustle of our controlled chaos. It only takes a minute to build someone up the same amount of time to tear one down as well.

Have a blessed week everyone.

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Happy New year And May God Bless

December 31, 2015 at 6:44 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Memoir, Poetry, positive thinking) (, , )

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As the new comes upon us,

let us remember and cherish what is important,let the anger and resentments go like the year-end. Let us keep close to us those we hold near ad dear, hug those kiddos extra tight, tell them how much they mean to you,how proud you are of them and most of all, tell them they can live their dreams and it can be achieved. There are good highlights from this year to remember and our share of poor decision-making, angry protests, fear, and school shootings. Let us ring in 2016 with renewed hope,understanding,peace,compassion and the willingness to stand up for what is right in our great nation we live in.


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A Man Of His Word

January 18, 2015 at 9:32 pm (Creative Non- Fiction, Middle age, Single Parent, Survivor, Uncategorized) (, , , )




I taught my son Levi to be a man of his word.


When my son was six years old he learned a valuable lesson.Levi was  invited  to go fishing with his grandpa. Levi’s friend also invited him to go to McDonald’s with him. Caught in a dilemma, Levi chose instead to go to lunch with his friend. I told him his choice would hurt his grandpa’s feelings,don’t go back on your word with your grandpa. They brought their catch home and enjoyed a fabulous fish dinner. The next afternoon, Levi and his friend went to McDonald’s for lunch. Sometimes it is hard to encourage your child to make the right decisions. I told him being a man of your word is a very respected virtue.

I became a single parent when my husband, Levi’s father died from complications from his diabetes.  I was given the tremendous responsibility to raise my young son alone. I became mother, father and sole provider for my family of two now. Single parenthood presented many challenges and difficulties. Levi and I survived them all I raised Levi from childhood through his tween years. I am proud of the fine young man Levi had become. In July 2007, Levi was killed in a tragic car accident. He was only 20. My faith in God brought me through difficult times in parenting. I am blessed because I was given tremendous responsibility of raising my son like so many single parents. Life is good, no matter the circumstance.


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Living In The Present, Not The Past

November 13, 2014 at 9:44 pm (Creative Non- Fiction) (, , , , , , )



This picture brings back so many fond memories.

This is one of the last pictures taken of my husband. It was Easter morning, my son Levi who was three, was surprised with a bubble pipe in his basket. He asked his daddy to blow bubbles for him. I love the small karate outfit Jerry found for Levi to wear. My husband was a karate instructor for many years. Life lesson: take advantage of every opportunity to take the stupid,crazy,funny pictures and video. you never know when you will need to fall back on them for comfort,a smile, or a more pleasant time in your lives.

This is the season they say for the attitude of gratitude in our lives. Everyday we should be living with this attitude. There are so many things to be thankful for. Even though in our jobs we may feel burn out, we have one, we have food on the table, a bed to sleep, our bills are paid, we have heat in the house. Many are planning the big Thanksgiving feast this moment,or looking forward to the big game afterwards. Some just look forward to Aunt Martha’s famous pumpkin pie this year. Than goodness to the many food banks and volunteers who help make everyone a holiday special.

Somehow, I see changes in people’s attitudes. They seem impatient, preoccupied,on the cell phones when at the check out lines, everyone seems in a hurry these days. There is no doubt, this world is changing, but it would be nice to get back to a simpler time in our lives when the pace was slower, no one was in a hurry to be some where. I wonder if those day are gone forever.

In this time of giving thanks, I would like to remember the fond memories of my loved ones who will not help celebrate this thanksgiving. For the service men and women who are keeping us safe to enjoy the holidays and the freedoms we have taken for granted they will always be here. Life can change in a moment. Take time to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, how much you care about them and love them. I wake up every morning knowing my son Levi is proud of his mom. That is worth waking up knowing alone,plus my morning coffee and many creamers to explore. I had to realize the deaths of both my husband and son, did not mean the death of me as well. I life was forever changed yes, but I am living my dreams, finding happiness again, living my life to the fullest. How about you?

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A Man Of His Word

October 13, 2014 at 1:04 am (Creative Non- Fiction, Middle age, Uncategorized) (, , , )




I taught my son Levi to be a man of his word.


When my son was six years old he learned a valuable lesson. My son Levi was  invited  to go fishing with his grandpa. Levi’s friend also invited him to go to McDonald’s with him. Caught in a dilemma, Levi was going to go to lunch with his friend. I told him he would hurt his grandpa’s feelings if he chose to go with his friend instead.Grandpa and grandson had a good fishing trip that day. My son and his grandpa were best buddies. They had many more fishing trips, camping trips with grandma and grandpa going to the hot springs in Montana. I really appreciated the break when my son could go on a fun adventure with his two favorite people in his life. When Levi became a teen, he helped his grandma with his grandpa when he became terminally ill.

I became a single parent when my husband, Levi’s father died from complications from his diabetes.  I was given the tremendous responsibility to raise my young son alone. I became mother, father and sole provider for my family of two now. Single parenthood presented many challenges and difficulties. Levi and I survived them all- I raised Levi from childhood through his tweens. Levi was quite the artist. I have many of his drawings in my bible and hanging in my bedroom wall. When his grandpa died, Levi drew an awesome picture as a tribute to his best friend. We don’t realize our words are heard and all the hard work we poured into their lives, comes back in blessing to us as parents. The one comment I will always treasure from my son is ‘you were always there for me and you never gave up on me thank you mom. I love you.’ I treasure these words more than ever now. My son was lost in a tragic car accident in July 2007. he was only 20.


excerpt from “Healing in the storms”

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You Only Live Once.

July 26, 2014 at 9:27 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )



The thought of you, makes me smile.

Remembering the crazy things we used to do.

A gentle reminder how fragile life is,

how precious our time here is.

Everyday, we are given a golden opportunity.

The opportunity to create lasting memories.





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Remembering My Awesome Son Today

July 20, 2014 at 4:23 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )





This morning I had gotten up at the usual time.

My morning coffee was being sipped outside on the patio. As I took in the cool morning air, my thoughts turned to my son Levi. Today is a hard day for me. Levi died in 2007 when he was involved in a tragic car accident. There are no words to describe my emotions; friends are supportive,but I have to walk through this journey with God. He has taken me from grieving mother into the light of His grace,mercy,strength, and new-found happiness. 

Today Levi, I celebrate who you were as a young man, you made me laugh,cry and want to string you up by your little toes,sometimes all on the same day. I miss the laugh, your sparkling eyes and most of all “be safe mom”. If anyone has a special story about my son, please I would love to read them.


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Planting A Special Butterfly Garden

July 10, 2014 at 4:27 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

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I have been busy planting a very special garden.

I have a few butterflies that fly around looking for a place to to rest. They have to settle for lavender,but not anymore. I have been busy planting three butterfly gardens. I painted my son’s old truck tire sand box and planted butterfly weed, and some plants around two trees. The butterflies,humming birds and bees shall be busy buzzing soon. I enjoy sitting outside in the evening with a cold up of coffee listening to the birds chattering. Since my back yard gets full sun, drought tolerant plants interested me. I am becoming a reformed black thumb gardener so an easy care garden suits me. Plus I can write stories on the patio over looking my lightish-green lawn. We have poor soil here also. Ahh, home ownership!

I have one nice memorial garden for my son Levi who died in 2007. I thought it would be nice to plant in his old truck tire sand box some joe-pie weed, and spread some plants around two trees. That should give the butterflies somewhere to land. I am thankful to God for this inspirational idea. Low maintenance beautiful bushes that will last several years of enjoyment. A dear friend gave me a pine tree to plant for my son seven years ago. today this tree is 20 feet tall! It seemed only fitting to bring to life a simple yet elegant garden. This time of year can be difficult when dealing with the grief, but every year I get inspired to put another finishing touch in my home or yard. I can almost hear my son whisper in my ear” I am proud of you mom. Even if you only planted one flower this year, you keep moving forward in life and not being stagnant.” I think he would like to sit in the backyard and take in the beauty. Life can be hard,but God takes the edge of the pain I feel sometimes. I look forward to rest of summer with the birds,bees and butterflies investigating the yard.

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An Attitude of Graditude

June 18, 2014 at 9:44 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

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When we were young,

we never thought we would ever be 18, moving into our first place, and having REALITY set in so quickly. We were used to having everything done for us. Yes, we shared some of the household chores, but we were not prepared for life on our own. Remember the first time you ran out of tooth paste, or toilet paper? Our parents got a kick out of us coming home for meals. Kids of today are smart, they just don’t want to leave the nest. 

I think everyone longs for the good old days. A time where life was simple. No cell phone distractions, no internet connections, no x-boxes, video games, or i-pads.Kids went out to play because inside was boring. You played hide and seek with the neighbors, went swimming, went for a bike ride. Parents sat on the front porch talking to the neighbors who enjoying an evening walk. Life seems to have gotten more hectic, so much to cram into one day. 

The past couple days have been pouring rain. I watched  some movies curled up in a blanket. It was nice for a change. I am busy working, writing, caring for my aging mother, and trying to keep my trees alive this year. Sometimes, it is nice to catch a breather. The fact is we always think there is TIME don’t we?  Life will stay the same. Some of us have had their life forever changed in a moment. We understand how hard tomorrow can be. standing on this side of the picture, we learned how to keep dancing in the rain, we don’t wait for the storm to pass. We know life is not perfect, we keep moving forward. The pain does not ever go away, as you heal, you start to remember the good moments in time. Our philosophy is when life handed us lemons, we made lemonade. Life is good indeed! Thank You Lord for the courage to looking up, for the comfort you give each day and for the wisdom to know how to let go.

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